TITLE: World Without End:
Book Two (5/?)
AUTHOR: Rachel Anton
EMAIL: RAnton1013@aol.com
The room was gray and metallic and he tasted blood in his mouth. There were sounds, grinding, crushing, like bones being shredded, ringing in his ears. There were no doors or windows. Rows and rows of empty metal slabs and the man was there, the man who told him that this was a war and that he was on the right side. He was. He had to be.
He was in a suit, starchy and scratchy. Blue and ugly and cheap and a tie for the first time in he didn't even know how long.
Dana…Dana was there. Dana but not Dana. She was Scully. She was Mulder's partner. She was that chubby girl from the autopsy bay. She was a problem. She was a necessary casualty. She was laid out on one of the slabs, naked, her belly bloated with an unnatural pregnancy, her eyes open but glazed over.
He stood at her feet and told her, calm, cold, "Spread your legs, Miss Scully."
The man behind him handed him an instrument, a metal device with sharp points and hard edges, a whirling, gouging piece of hell. He dropped it on the floor, preferring to use his own hands.
Hands. Two again. More of him on the outside, less on the inside.
Her knees bent up and thighs spread apart, exposing herself completely to him and to the man.
He hesitated a moment, frightened, unsure. How could this possibly be right? His father…he didn't understand.
"Do it Alex," the man behind him whispered urgently. He didn't suppose he had a choice.
He reached up with both hands, digging into her impossibly stretched, impossibly wide vagina. He groped around inside, sloshing through blood and bodily fluids, high and deep in her, in this place that was supposed to be full of life and pleasure but now, dead, rotten, until he felt it. A tiny foot. He grabbed hold of it with both hands and pulled as hard as he could.
She looked down at him with a blank stare of incomprehension. It must have hurt, he thought, but she didn't cry.
The small life came out in his hands, bloody, mucus everywhere, gaping, shrieking mouth. He pulled more, trying to dislodge the thing from her body but the cord was endless, clumpy, tied in knots.
He wrapped his hands around the neck of the half-dead, half-human thing and when it still breathed, he cracked the skull on the floor like an egg, watching as the green fluid flowed onto the tiles, burning everything in its path.
He tugged at the cord like a rope in a tug-of-war and soon another creature came out of her and then another and another and he slaughtered each one in succession without remorse.
The sounds and the smells, nauseating. He felt as if he were on the verge of vomiting from it but he couldn't stop himself from pulling the little monsters out.
Her eyes grew bloody, dilated and she sat up as he murdered her children and asked him calmly, "Why Alex? Why?"
He couldn't answer her because he didn't know.
*************************
"DANA!"
I wake up screaming and thrashing in damp, tangled sheets. Alone.
"Dana?!" I call out again, my heart pounding so fast I can barely catch my breath. She's not here. God. Oh God.
Nightmare. It was just a nightmare. Another one. This was the worst one yet. The most completely nauseating. Usually my nightmares are based on things that have actually happened, things I've done to her, things I've seen done to her. But this one…
Where the hell is she? I roll onto my side with a groan and try to rub the sleep and confusion out of my eyes. Then I look at the clock.
Great. It's almost noon. I must have fallen asleep at dawn or some stupid thing. The last thing I remember is lying awake next to her for hours after that awful conversation about Marita and thinking I wasn't going to get any sleep at all. I guess I was wrong.
I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom for a shower and a shave and then remember the goddamn meeting. It was supposed to start forty-five minutes ago. All the committee heads, me, Scully and Mulder are supposed to be discussing what duties Mulder should be assigned to now that he's decided to stay here. I was all ready to have him taking out the trash but I'm late and they probably started without me.
Why the hell didn't she wake me up?
I brush my teeth quickly and pull some clothes on, forgoing that shower and trying to ignore the sweat clinging to me from my turbulent sleep. This meeting is more important than being powder fresh.
I make my way over to Patterson as quickly as I can, distracted but still haunted by the images from that dream. When I enter the building and see Dana, talking with Roseanne in the hallway outside the conference room, I have to hold myself back from running up to her and crushing her against me.
Instead I walk calmly towards them, trying not to let the relief at seeing her perfectly healthy show on my face. I'm still kinda pissed off at her, after all.
When Roseanne sees me coming she ducks back into the room, touching Dana on the shoulder briefly before she goes.
"Why didn't you wake me?" I ask her, more out of breath than I realized.
"I left for the lab at six am. You were finally asleep so I figured I'd let you be. Didn't realize you'd be comatose till the afternoon," she says quietly, with a smile. She's holding a clipboard against her chest and kind of rocking back and forth on her heels with a coy little expression. I don't know quite what to make of it.
"Well, what did I miss? It's not over already is it?"
"No, we haven't even started. Everyone's waiting inside for you."
"Oh…well, thanks. Thanks for waiting."
"Alex, why wouldn't we?" she asks with such tenderness in her voice that it makes me ache for a better time. A time when I would have felt comfortable kissing her right now, pressing her against the wall and sharing her warmth. Then she reaches between her chest and the clipboard and pulls out a small, folded piece of paper. She hands it over to me and smiles again. Then she turns around and walks back into the conference room.
I unfold the paper and stare at the words, not entirely sure if they're really there.
Alex,
It's Tuesday…
Ten o'clock?
Is this a joke? She wouldn't be that cruel would she? I guess the only way to find out is to go down there tonight and see for myself.
*************************
I've gotta hand it to Krycek. The little bastard has kind of a nice place here. All right, so he didn't build it or anything but still, he's running it pretty well. Certainly not the lap of luxury in terms of material things but I've felt more comfortable here the past few weeks than I ever did in that colony.
I've been eating decently and sleeping relatively well. The people here have been very friendly and nice to me. There's an indoor track for me to jog on which is what I'm stretching in preparation for right now. And best of all of course, Scully.
I think she's forgiving me. She's been warming up steadily since that first day, spending time with me and talking about what she's been doing all this time, what this group is really about. I still don't completely agree with their tactics but I'm starting to understand why she stays here. It's seeming more and more like the best of all the evil choices out there.
My biggest problem so far has been boredom really. With no work and no real focus I've been starting to go stir crazy here. Scully's visits are the brightest parts of my day but I don't see her as often as I'd like. But that's going to change now. Because of what we decided at the meeting today, I'm going to be seeing a lot more of her.
It was my idea. Scully's been telling me about her work, her search for a cure to the cancer threatening to return to her body and the bodies of many of the other women here. I was reminded of how it felt to watch her almost succumb to that illness so many years ago and why I'd agreed to the stupid deal in the first place. So that I'd never have to see that again. I'd do anything, anything at all to keep her from having to go through that. She asked me if I knew anything about the cure but all that I could tell her was that there is one. And that the conversion process leaves the converted immune.
So today when the question of what I am most qualified to do was raised, I suggested that maybe I would be most useful to everyone as a lab rat. Scully's lab rat. I'm the only person they've got who's undergone the conversion and the answer to the questions she is asking are contained in my body, in my blood. I'm certain of that.
Scully agreed and so did everyone else. Except Krycek. He thought I should do something more along the lines of hard labor. Probably wanted me to take out his trash or something. But after Scully pointed out that this might be the only hope she had he gave me a nasty look and acquiesced. It's become abundantly clear to me that he's got some very strong feelings for her although I've yet to figure out the exact nature of those feelings. Whatever they are, they forced his hand. Keeping her healthy was more important than his resentment towards me.
It surprised me to say the least. Not that he's grown to care for her after all this time. Who in their right mind could spend any time with Scully at all and not care? What shocks me is that he supposedly cares enough to put her interests ahead of his own. It shocks me and it makes me nervous because I can't help wondering what he's really planning. I just cannot buy this selfless act. Not from him.
Doesn't matter though. Scully and I can handle whatever bullshit he tries to pull. We're gonna be stronger than ever.
Well, I know we've still got a ways to go. She's still a little distant and closed to me. Christ, she hasn't even told me where she lives yet. I guess she's afraid of me showing up at her place at 2 am the way I used to, frantic and needing her help. Not this time, Scully. It's gonna be different this time. Better.
Okay, one last knee bend and I'm good to go. But just as I'm about ready to start running all the lights in the place go off. I guess this is a no power hour. Apparently they shut off the lights and heat for a couple hours a week during the winter. Scully gave me the schedule though and I don't remember tonight being on it.
As my eyes adjust to the darkness in the gym I realize that there is light coming from somewhere. From below. I walk to the edge of the track and peer over the guardrail down to the indoor swimming pool. The water is glowing.
And then I see her.
She must have turned off all the lights except for the one in the pool. She's in a swimsuit. A black one with a zipper down the front. It looks about twenty years old. And so does she. I don't know how she's managed to keep such a youthful appearance with all the crap she's been through. But I swear, she looks younger than she ever has. And more beautiful.
She's walking around the edge of the pool and when she reaches the deep end she dives gracefully into the water. She starts doing laps, back and forth across the pool and I feel somewhat at a loss. Should I say something? Go down there? Or just stand up here in the shadows ogling her? She seems to be enjoying a private moment of peace and I don't want to disturb that but I also am starting to feel a bit creepy just watching her without announcing my presence. Of course, I could just leave.
Yeah, right.
It's not a fully conscious decision on my part but I do end up watching, spying I guess. My limbs just don't seem to want to carry me down there and my throat won't form the words to get her attention. She's just so stunning.
And then I see him.
I recognize him from the way he swaggers towards the water's edge, clad in black as usual. He looks completely out of place with his buckles and boots and ever-present attitude in this womb like atmosphere of serenity Scully has created. And he watches her. I watch him watching her. And I wait. After about four more laps of double voyeurism Scully stops swimming and stands up in the shallow end, near the edge. She jumps a little when she sees Krycek hovering there like some kind of freaking psycho stalker and my heart starts beating a little quicker. What the hell is he doing anyway?
"How long have you been standing there?" she asks, running her fingers through her hair, breathing heavily.
"'Bout four laps."
"Why didn't you say something, Alex?"
"I didn't wanna disturb you," he says with a snotty, sarcastic affectation in his voice. It's a little difficult to judge her facial expressions from above but she looks completely puzzled by the comment or the tone. Maybe both.
Something very strange is happening here. Something that's starting to scare me. The way he's acting towards her…it's almost as if he has some kind of sick fixation with her or something.
"Disturb me? Alex, I asked you to come down here."
Her voice is soft and sweet.
Asked him to come here?
"Yeah. What for?"
Same question I was about to ask, Krycek. Work? Maybe she's got something she needs to discuss with him about the meeting today? She ducks her head and runs her fingers in a trail through the water's surface.
"What do you think, Alex?" she whispers but the acoustics in here cause her words to reverberate off the walls, echo in my ears. I should leave. This is something private, something that I have no right to be watching. It's not about work. Scully doesn't use that tone of voice to talk about work. In fact, I don't know when I've ever heard her use it. I should go. But I can't. I can't.
"I honestly have no idea, Dana."
"Alex…"
God, I still can't get used to hearing her call him that. Or him calling her Dana.
"Dana, I don't really know what you want from me anymore so you're going to have to be a little more direct if you don't want me to screw it up."
She snaps her head up and looks at him with a heart-breakingly sad expression. She looks so totally vulnerable, half naked and soaking wet, letting him stand there and say these things to her like that. I've never seen her so vulnerable.
Then she walks over to the steps leading into the pool and sits down on the first one, leaving half of her body out of the water.
"All right. What's wrong?" she asks and he snorts.
"Where would you like me to start?"
"Anywhere. I just want to know what's on your mind. I just…I just want to get things out in the open and get through them."
Goddammit, Krycek. What ever your stupid problem is, get over it. Can't you see how upset she is?
"Okay, fine. Have you told Mulder yet?"
Told Mulder yet? She ducks her head and sighs and I get the impression that she hasn't told me. She hasn't told me a lot I'm starting to think.
"Not…not yet. I…"
"That's one."
"I haven't had the…the time. I will, Alex. I will."
"You said that to me two weeks ago, Dana. And I said fine. But it's getting ridiculous. It's not fair to either of us."
She clutches her knees to her chest and shivers, almost her entire body in the open air now. My stomach drops and I'm starting to feel very sick. Oh, Scully. What are you doing?
"I…I know. I will tell him. Tomorrow. I promise."
Too late, Scully. Too fucking late.
"All right then, you mentioned time before. You haven't had 'time' to tell him. Well, what have you been doing with all your time, Dana? Cause you sure as hell haven't been spending it with me."
She's fucking him. Oh God. She's fucking him. How could I not have realized. How could it have possibly taken me so long to pick up the clues?
"I've been working, Alex. Taking care of sick kids and spending nights at the lab. Trying to find a cure for cancer. Not to mention the resistance liaison committee which you put me in charge of. And for God's sake, Alex, you're not home any more often than I am."
Home? As in her home and his home? Together? No, that can't possibly be. She would have told me if they were living together.
Fuck.
"Maybe so. But, Dana, when we actually are home together…"
Together. Home together. Jesus Christ, Scully. Jesus Christ.
"Well, when we are together nowadays those three little words from last night seem to be the rule of law."
"Three little words? Alex…what…"
"Don't. Touch. Me," he spits out viscously, his arms crossed over his chest.
Okay, so, they've been fucking. She hasn't told me and that sucks but maybe…maybe she's trying to end it. Maybe that's why he's so angry. Maybe she hasn't bothered to tell me because it's not a big thing and she wants to just break it off so that we can be together. Maybe…
"Oh, Alex," she sighs and stands up, getting out of the pool completely and walking up close to him.
"And even though you only actually said it once, you've been radiating that attitude for two weeks. So you've gotta understand if I'm a little confused about what you could possibly want from me now."
"Alex, I'm…I'm sorry I said that. And I'm sorry that we haven't been taking enough time. I was very angry and confused last night and I felt like…I don't know, I just felt like you were hiding something from me."
He kneels down and picks up one of the towels she brought with her and wraps it around her shoulders. Seeing him touch her makes me want to vomit.
"Alex, I just couldn't understand why you'd do something so foolish. And do it alone. I mean, I can see why you'd want to be the one to do it but, why didn't you ask me to help you? I would have helped. I felt like you were purposely trying to shut me out."
"I just…I didn't feel comfortable asking you for help, Dana."
"But why? Because you had a past with her?"
She's moving closer. She's so close to him. I don't think she's trying to break up with him anymore.
"No, Dana, it's got nothing to do with her. It's…it's us. It's you and me. I feel…I don't feel…"
He runs his hand through his hair and looks down at the ground. Sad. He looks sad. Or as close to that as I've ever seen him. Maybe he'll break up with her. Maybe…
"Alex?"
"God, Dana. You've just been so closed off to me lately. I feel like I can't even talk to you anymore."
"Oh, but Alex, you can. I want you to."
She touches his arm and then moves down to grasp his hand in hers. Why am I still here? God, I really think I'm going to throw up. How can this be happening? I keep waiting for it to end but it doesn't.
"I miss you, Alex. I miss talking to you and I miss…everything."
"God, devotchka, I miss you too," he croaks out.
De what? God, I don't even wanna know.
"Alex, let's…let's just be together tonight. Let's just forget about the past two weeks and start over."
I don't understand this. This can't be Scully. Maybe she's a clone. Maybe he's drugging her. Maybe…
Oh God, he's kissing her. He's got his hand on the back of her head and his tongue down her throat and they're both moaning and clutching at each other and I can't watch but I can't look away either. The stupid, revolting kiss seems to go on forever and every noise they make, every sigh and every slurp and the sound of her wet bathing suit sloshing against his leather jacket, it all echoes through the room and through my head. It's the loudest fucking thing I've ever heard.
God, Scully, how could you? How could you do this to me? To us? We were so close to this. This should be me kissing you. Me.
She finally breaks away from him and starts walking backwards towards the edge of the pool, tugging on his hand.
"Come into the water with me, Alex."
She lets go of his hand and goes back into the shallow end. Then she starts unzipping her suit.
I need to go. God, please just make me go. I can't stand here and watch her strip for him.
"Dana…"
"Aren't you coming?"
"Dana, are…are you sure? Because if not I..I mean I really can't take this anymore," he sputters out, breathless. Yeah, poor guy. Two weeks is a real fucking long time. Fucking asshole.
"I'm sure, Alex. I'm so sure, it hurts," she croons in a voice I once thought only porn stars and phone sex operators actually used. Then she crosses her arms over her chest and pulls down the straps of her suit.
I try to look away but….
God, she's so fucking beautiful. I can't stand it. I can't. How is this happening? How can this be fair?
"Careful, it's very….very wet," she says, tossing her discarded bathing suit out of the pool and onto his boots. I look over at him for the first time in a long time. He's got his jacket off already and he's working on his shirt. He's moving so fast and frantically he looks like he's about to fall down.
She's laughing as she watches his desperate struggle to get naked in a hurry.
"Take your time, zhivotnoye," she giggles. Zhivotnoye. Sounds like Russian. I want to know what it means. I wonder if it means bastard. I wonder if it means back-stabbing, lying, murdering, sneaky motherfucker.
"You laughing at me, woman? You have any idea what it's like having blue balls for two weeks?"
"No, I don't, Alex. Why don't you tell me. Tell me how much you want it. Tell me how you need it," she murmurs in that…that voice again. She flips onto her back so that she's floating in the water. So that her breasts are peeking out, looking right up into the darkness where I'm standing. I feel my cock stiffening in response despite what's going on in my mind, in what's left of my heart.
I can't look at her anymore but when I look at him I feel even sicker. He's naked now and hard as I am for her. And looking at her like a fucking animal about to devour its prey.
She's really gonna let him fuck her.
Maybe it's a good-bye fuck. Maybe it's just one last time before she dumps him on his ass and comes back to me. Maybe…
End Chapter Five
Continued in Chapter Six
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