3's A Charm: De Profundis: Part One by Ocean Summers and Sage O'Neil

Title: 3's A Charm: De Profundis
Authors: Ocean Summers and Sage O'Neil
Ratings: NC-17
Keyword: Mulder/Scully/Krycek Romance
Summary: After the break up, Ben comes back in to their lives and messes things up even more.
Author's note: I know you've all waited a long time for this, I hope it was worth it. You'll just have to read for yourselves and find out <g>
Thanx to The Emu and Elisabeth my two wonderful Beta Readers. This story would not be what it is, if it wasn't for them <g>
Disclaimers: I do not own these characters they belong to Chris Carter and FOX Network, you know the drill.
I'd love to get some feedback, tell me what you think and write it down to: sageo@hotmail.com

The MSKRA (Mulder Scully Krycek Romance Association) link is defunct. I have removed it.

The memory of the scene in Krycek's living room remained vivid in his memory as he arrived at his own empty apartment. One part of him wanted to go back and make it all right again, as the other part told him strongly to let it be. That was the part that kept reminding him of how much grief it would bring him, how hurt he could end up being if he didn't let it go.

For the first time in weeks, he curled up on his couch, trying to shut everything out. The utter silence and the absence of soft, even breathing mingling in the night drove him to a point he hadn't let himself go to yet.

He started to cry. He started to sob into his pillow as he realized what he'd done and what he would have to do.

Mulder had been away for almost a week before he returned to the office. Scully looked surprised; clearly, she wasn't really prepared to see him standing there in the doorway, as though nothing had happened. She tried to read his eyes as he smiled, said 'good morning' and promptly went over to the file cabinet.

He turned to look at her, a pensive expression in his face. He should have known she would wonder. But he'd thought she'd wait a little longer before asking him. The answer was not going to please her.

She got up and walked over to him. Sensing that she would be impossible to deal with until they got this out of their systems, Mulder sighed, showing her just how little he wanted to discuss this. She didn't care.

All he did was to stare at her, a part of his mind knowing all too well how right she was. The problem was that he didn't want to admit it. So he ignored her. Or at least he tried.

Looking up to meet her eyes, he sensed that she would be persistent. That was the last thing he needed. With a sigh, he threw the file on top of his desk and headed out for the door.

"Scully," he began, looking down at the floor. "I need to get out of here. It was a mistake to return this early."

Nevertheless, she held his arm for a while, hoping he'd turn around and change his mind or at least tell her something that would ease the pain she was going through. But he didn't even look at her. She let go.

Leaning against the brick wall, he lit up a cigarette. He should have been here 10 minutes ago and Ben was growing restless. This was not acceptable, not even for them.

Glancing at his watch again, he sighed inwardly, promising himself that this would be the last job he did for them. You could only misplace information for so long and his fellow agents were going to be suspicious.

A man was closing up to him and he could tell from the way he walked that it was him. He followed him into the alley.

Opening the envelope, he was irritated that his informer didn't go away. He looked up at him.

"Don't be stupid, you know what I'm talking about. I wouldn't lose sight of my purpose if I were you."

Ben grew even more irritated. "Why don't you just mind your own business? Maybe you should look out for yourself before you pass any judgment."

"I've seen the way you look at her. They don't like that, do they? I mean, that wasn't your assignment, was it?"

She found him on the couch, deep in thought. He probably hadn't even heard her enter the apartment.

"Hi." He sounded a little drowsy as he sat up to make room for her. "I didn't hear you come in."

A little more at ease, he circled his arm around her. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

"Can't we just go to bed, I'm really tired," she said softly and started moving away from him.

She saw the hope in his eyes mixed with the fear of what he was denying to himself and wished for nothing else than to tell him that everything was all right, that Mulder was coming over any minute to apologize for his confused behavior and return to them. But that would have been a lie.

"Let's not talk about that now," she said, smiling, and she took his hand. "Let's just go to bed."

"No." He held her hand tighter as she tried to get off the couch. "I want to know what he said. I need to know."

Swallowing hard, she adjusted herself to face him. His gaze was a mixture of hope and fear as she caressed his cheek. With a swift motion, she leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

"We can't give up yet," she said and forced a smile. "He'll just need some more time to think things through, and when he has, he will realize what he wants."

He looked at her and nodded. They just had to give it some time, that was all it needed. Some time and then it would be all right again.

Skinner looked at him over the desk as he had finished reading the file. He didn't really get the picture here. Last time Agent Julien had been in his office, he had gotten the impression that he wasn't too fond of Agent Mulder. Now he was requesting to work with him.

"Sir?" Ben felt suspicion in the air and he knew about the special relationship the assistant director had with Mulder and Scully.

"Yes, Agent Julien, this looks in order," Skinner said and handed him the file again. "I will inform Agent Mulder."

The two men eyed each other for a second, one curious and the other totally calm in his place.

He had been ignoring her all day. If it hadn't been by reading a file, it had been by talking on the phone or by typing. When ever he could, he would send her out, and by the time the third autopsy request landed on her desk that day, she knew she had to do something about it.

"Yeah, well, I don't really care," she said, rising from her seat. "This is important."

"You know, this is not going to work out if you keep ignoring me." She stood to face him.

"If you're that interested, maybe I should request for a transfer," she stated, finally seeing him flinch.

"Scully." He looked up but didn't meet her eyes. "I don't want to stop working with you. I just need some space, okay?"

She looked at him, meeting his familiar eyes, knowing that he could see the tears threatening to break out in hers.

"Mulder, why can't you just talk to him?" she asked, her voice breaking. "He's-- he's--"

"I don't care how he is," he cut her off. "I don't care how he feels, now will you just let me go by?"

"For chrissake, Scully," he said, trying to move past her, but as she didn't move, and he didn't want to hurt her.

"Mulder, he --" she looked at him, not sure of how to put this for him not to hit the roof. "He loves you so much. This is destroying him. You have to talk to him."

For a moment, she thought she saw something there, something to give her hope. He closed his eyes as if denying himself what he wanted to feel. Then he moved past her and left her there, standing alone in the small basement office with nothing left to hope for.

Roaming through the corridor in the section he usually tried to keep away from, he bumped into Assistant Director Skinner coming back from lunch.

Mulder nodded slowly, not really knowing what he had done now. Usually, he knew when he was going to get a lecture from his supervisor, but as things were, he had kept a rather low profile of late. Maybe too low.

Inside Skinner's office, he took a seat, trying to figure out what was coming next. Skinner sat down quietly and looked across the desk at him.

"I've assigned you to work with another agent on a case that could need your expertise," he announced, taking out a file from his drawer.

"Yes, sir," Mulder reached out to take the file that had been handed to him. "Is it an X-file?"

"No." Skinner looked at him over the desk. He was surprised that his younger agent hadn't been more unwilling to work with another agent aside from Agent Scully. Most of the time when that occurred, they both put up a fuss. "Actually you're just to work on the profile and then the VCS will take over."

"Uh, no," Mulder mumbled again and looked at the file in his lap. "I guess not."

"Then I expect you to report to Agent Julien as soon as you see fit." Skinner tried to read the younger man's reaction. "Report to me when you're done."

Krycek gathered enough courage to knock on Mulder's door, half-hoping he wouldn't be home. If he wasn't, he wouldn't have to take the fall just yet. But he had to do something about this; he couldn't just sit around.

Mulder wasn't prepared to see him standing there. He fought hard to make the mistake of inviting him in. That would be a sure way to ensure them ending up in bed. Truth was, he wouldn't be able to resist him. So he slammed the door shut in his face, shutting out the image of Krycek's hurt expression.

Okay, so it wasn't going exactly according to plan, Krycek had to admit to himself, but he wouldn't give in this easily. Feeling hurt and a little stupid, he knocked once more.

"What do you want?" Mulder asked through the door determined not to open it again.

"I just want to talk to you." Krycek felt foolish, standing there talking to a door. "Can you please open the door?"

Krycek swallowed and forced back the tears. How was he going to be able to win him back if he wouldn't even talk to him?

Inside, leaning against the door, Mulder heard his former lover's voice break as he spoke. It made his heart ache but he couldn't -- he wouldn't make himself open the door. If he did, he would have to answer to him, and he wasn't ready for that. He didn't have the right answers for him.

He was going to be impossible, Mulder figured as much. Grabbing his jacket and car keys, he knew that this was a cheap move, but his only thought was on how to get rid of him.

Krycek's heart swelled with hope as Mulder opened the door. His eyes told him nothing.

"Thanks," Krycek smiled, wanting so much to take him in his arms and hold him tight.

Krycek was confused, his gaze flickering between the jacket to the keys in Mulder's hands. Did he want to go for a walk? Yeah, maybe that was better, that could give them a chance to clear their minds.

"I told you not to touch me again." He still couldn't look at him. "Now can you just leave me alone?"

Krycek watched him as he walked towards the elevator. The hope that had grown had been dashed in a second and he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this disappointed. He could hardly breathe.

"Coming!" Ben wiped off his hair with a towel, hanging it around his shoulders as he went to open the door.

Mulder was staring back at him, his gaze evidently observing Ben's body. His cheeks turned red and he met Ben's smiling eyes, still angry over what he had done because of this man.

"Come in," Ben said with a slight smile, pretending not to having noticed his gaze. "Make yourself at home. I'm just going to get dressed."

Mulder didn't say much, just nodded and made his way into the large apartment. At first he had been surprised over how tony Ben's neighborhood was, but now, he was suspicious. The place was huge and obviously very expensively decorated. He didn't feel comfortable sitting down.

After a few minutes, Ben came back wearing a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, his hair still damp. He really did look great. Mulder reminded himself that he was a jerk, a two-timing jerk who had managed to break up a relationship in less than a week. But of course, he didn't know that.

Mulder sat down in an armchair. He still hadn't said anything; he felt guilty being there, even though he had a legitimate reason. This was in the line of duty, so to speak.

"Look," Ben said, leaning forward. "I know we didn't exactly start off on the right foot, but when I work, I keep it professional."

Mulder looked at him, keeping his gaze steady and calm, letting Ben read how little he believed what he was being told.

"You know, the reason I'm saying this to you is because of all the misunderstandings lately," he continued and tried to find a softer point in Mulder's gaze. "So if it makes you uncomfortable or if there is something you need to know, I suggest you take it up with me before we start because I don't like working with people who don't trust me."

Their eyes met Mulder's filled with distrust. Krycek had told him all there was to know about this guy and he wasn't about to give him his trust just like that. Still, he didn't really know how much Krycek's words were worth. He had to respect Ben's honesty.

"I take your silence as there is nothing to say, then," Ben said, smiled and leaned forward to fetch the file. "So let's get started then."

Mulder eyed him for a while then decided to give this a shot, reaching out for a notepad. Ben smiled to himself.

She rose from the couch as she heard him enter the apartment. Seconds later, he appeared in the doorway, looking absolutely devastated.

He leaned into her embrace and hugged her tight. What would he have done if it hadn't been for her? He owed her so much.

"He didn't even want to talk to me," he said softly. "He just shut the door in my face."

Scully closed her eyes, cursing Mulder to herself. He was being a jerk. When would he understand? Not everybody was involved in this conspiracy he so desperately needed to uncover, and he'd better realize that before he didn't have anyone left to trust.

He forced a smile as she met his eyes, caressing her hair in a gesture of gratitude. How she could be that calm was beyond him. If something didn't happen soon, he didn't know what he would do. A part of him took her calm as a good sign. She knew Mulder better than he did and maybe she felt that they would get back together, that everything would be all right.

"It will be okay," she said with a smile, and placed the palm of her hand against his cheek.

"Dana," he eyed her shyly. "I want you to know that I appreciate that you're still here with me."

Krycek looked at his partner over the pictures they were studying. He looked serious, and Krycek could feel himself squirm inside. He didn't feel like talking about anything personal. It just reminded him of what was really going on.

Of course, Cardinal had heard the rumors that were circulating within the Bureau. Just about everyone had noticed the change of relationship between him and Mulder, and of course, they had their own versions about the matter. According to them, Mulder was pissed because he had found out that Krycek and Scully were sleeping together.

Cardinal rubbed his chin, obviously not very comfortable with the subject himself.

"I take it you know what they're saying about you around the office," he started carefully.

"Well." Cardinal was still tiptoeing over the subject. "As your partner, you know that I don't really care what they say about you and this whole situation. What I'm trying to say is that I don't really believe in what people say, but if you need to talk, I'm here."

Krycek was a little surprised over the offer at first. Not that they didn't have a good relationship, but usually that only involved work and not personal lives. He appreciated it though, and even if he wouldn't dream of telling Cardinal anything of what was really going on, he felt trust growing between them.

Mulder was standing by the window, his thoughts somewhere else. Everything had taken such a strange turn. He had worked on the case with Ben for a couple of days now and he really enjoyed what they were doing together. He even enjoyed being around Ben, although he didn't really want to admit it to himself. Maybe he should just face those facts and stop denying himself a pleasure that obviously was trying to break free. It was just that he couldn't shake off that other image of him. The image created by Krycek.

Glancing at the phone, he swallowed hard, forcing himself not to pick it up and call them. Sometimes he let himself think of them, what they were doing. He could picture them making love, Krycek's muscular body moving with Scully's. That photographic memory was torturing him to no end. Sometimes he wanted so much to call them.

But he couldn't. He wouldn't. Not after what had happened between them. Which brought him back to another subject, Ben. Even if Krycek and Ben had been fooling around, Mulder had come to think of a very important fact. Ben didn't know that they had been together. Of course, according to Krycek, that wouldn't have stopped him, but if they had indeed done anything, what were Krycek's words worth? Maybe Ben wasn't the person Krycek portrayed him to be.

At times as they were working together, he could feel Ben looking at him. He tried to pretend that he didn't notice, or that he didn't care, but when it came down to it, he did. He did notice and a part of him cared. A part of him allowed himself to like it.

He was startled in his thoughts by a loud knock on the door. A little confused, he drew his hand through his hair and went up to answer it.

"I hope I'm not coming too late," Ben said. "I just thought I'd drop by some, uh -- files." He gestured to the brown file in his hand.

"I just needed to go through it with you before I made some changes," he explained, wondering if he should sit down beside him -- there didn't seem to be anywhere else to sit but next to Mulder. Now that was tempting.

"I made some notes on page three and five -- if you could just --" he caught Mulder's gaze. "See that it's all right."

Mulder nodded and wondered why he was reacting like he did. He had a very strange feeling in his stomach that was closing up to the area between his legs. Trying to shake it off, he flipped open the file and went through the pages. It looked good. Actually, it looked really good. Ben surprised him a lot; he was smart.

"This is a good point -- I hadn't thought of that." Mulder pointed at a part he'd filled in. "We can work from this."

He sounded very enthusiastic, and Mulder looked at him with a smile, congratulating him on the good work. Their eyes locked for a moment, both all too aware of the thoughts behind them. Mulder shook off first. He wouldn't go there, no matter how tempted he was. It was simply wrong.

"I think I can get some more sides to the profile with this new angle," Mulder said, abruptly changing the subject. "I'll see if I can finish this today or tomorrow."

Ben looked down in his lap, suddenly melancholy. He realized that that would mean the end to them working together. Making sure that Mulder had noted his reaction, he moved on to the next step.

"I've really enjoyed working with you," he lifted his gaze again, making sure Mulder was looking straight at him. "I mean really."

"Yeah," Mulder agreed, surprised how much he actually meant that. "It's been nice."

Taking a deep sigh, Ben was glad that things were going smoothly. Mulder was a lot easier to manipulate than he thought he would be. Of course, he was very vulnerable, easy to get to, and Ben was not afraid to use it.

"You know, if you're interested, I have another case coming up that seems really interesting," he said very carefully, not risking the chance to push him. "I mean, if you have the time."

Mulder didn't know what to say. He wanted to say yes. When he had walked into the case they were currently working on, he had been skeptical. Very skeptical, actually. His opinion of Ben Julien hadn't been exactly high. But the guy had grown on him; he had started to like him -- there was just something about him.

"Ben interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, I understand if you want to work with Scully now that she's back. I won't be upset, it was just a thought."

Scully. That was right. He had almost forgotten that he would have to go back to her after this. Now this other case was sounding like a really good idea.

You're in, man, you're fucking in. Ben tried to prevent a smug grin from breaking out.

"I'll let you know as soon as I know anything more. You just drop that file off on my desk when you're ready and we can go through the conclusions together."

Mulder smiled and gave him a quick nod. He hated to admit it, but he was looking forward to it. Really looking forward to it.

Krycek felt a chill as he entered the apartment, wondering if they'd left a window open when they'd left that morning. They were both so out of it and it seemed as if they were constantly forgetting things, whether it was eating or turning off the coffee machine.

"Dana!" he shouted, hoping she had already come home. He hated to be alone with his thoughts.

Following the direction of the draft, he was surprised to see her out on the balcony, leaning over the railing. She turned to smile at him. He noted the cigarette in her hand as she took another puff, waving for him to join her.

With her body so close to his, he could feel how cold she was and held her tighter.

"Dana, you're freezing." He nuzzled her hair. "You don't have to stand out here smoking. I don't mind."

Nodding slowly, she just wanted to enjoy the feel of his body, the smell of him and the knowledge that he was there.

"Come on, let's go inside." He reached out to take the ashtray and led her inside the apartment. "You were turning in to a popsicle out there," he joked, hearing how Mulderish that sounded.

Closing the door, he turned to look at her. She looked so sad and for the first time, it really hit him how much she was hurting, too. It wasn't that he hadn't known, he just hadn't had time to think about that, about her side of it. Now when he looked at her, he saw how tired she looked. All the tension was wearing her down.

"Hey, why don't we do it like this," he said as he caressed her hair. "You draw yourself a bath and I'll make us some dinner."

"Don't you want some help?" she offered, not comfortable letting him do all the work while she just luxuriated in the tub.

"No." He smiled and held her closer. "I'll take care of it, you just relax and I'll go open a bottle of wine."

Later she lay in the hot wonderful tub, a glass of wine in her right hand and the lovely Beethoven filling the room. It was as if every muscle in her body eased in the warmth of the water, her troubled mind dissipating up to the ceiling with the rest of the steam.

Almost ready with dinner, he went to the bathroom, finding her as he had expected: Eyes closed, face free from worries and her body totally covered with foam. He kneeled behind her, placing his lips softly at the soft curve of her neck. She smiled and leaned against him.

He placed the glass beside him on the floor and started rubbing her shoulders gently. She moaned and tilted her head against his chest. Now this was heaven.

After a while, he stopped, much to her disappointment, and went to the closet to get a big towel. She balked a little at getting out of the tub but knew she would have to sooner or later anyway. He offered her the towel as she rose.

"Dinner's almost ready," he told her. "Take your time getting dressed and I'll set the table."

She took out a pair of sweatpants and one of Krycek's big sweaters to wear, feeling the soft material warm against her skin. It was just perfect.

They had a nice quiet little dinner and everything seemed to be complete. Beneath the idyllic appearance, something was not quite right. Mulder was still on their minds.

"You are incredible," she told him and leaned into his embrace after she was finished.

She pressed her face against his chest, letting out a content sigh. It felt good to have him, to be near him. The thought of being able to fall asleep in his arms every night gave her so much comfort when she was feeling down.

She turned to meet his lips, feeling them teasing hers. She moved to straddle him on the couch, roaming her hands across his chest. He had such a beautiful body.

His hands moved under her sweater. He could feel goosebumps break out on her as his fingers swept over the sensitive skin. She could feel the bulge in his pants and smiled against his lips. It had been such a long time since they'd made love. She missed it.

Feeling her smile against his lips, he buried his face in her neck and held her closer, his lips working softly at her gentle curve. She moaned and rubbed herself against him. He had a way of being gentle and rough at the same time that just turned her on. Forcing him to look at her, she felt him seeking her lips almost violently.

"Alex," she breathed and cupped his face. "Alex, I want you to make love to me."

"Yes, I realize," she said as she ran a hand through his very short hair. "But I want you to make love to me in the bedroom. Slowly," she kissed him again. "And sweet," another kiss. "Very sweet."

The softness of the sheets surrounded her body. He had worked his way from her toes and up, ignoring her center, moving up to her full breasts. His hot lips were working at her hardened nipples. She moaned softly, feeling his erection jerk against her leg. He moved down again, rolling his tongue around her navel for a while, letting his hand move down and caress her where she wanted him too.

After a while, he moved down further, spreading her legs apart. First he lifted her leg and started kissing the inside of her thigh, very slowly, very carefully. She whimpered and raised her aching part against him.

He let go of her leg. He spread her lips apart and made room for his careful tongue to tease the hardened bud until she squeezed the sheets and let out a low moan.

Looking up at her, he could see her with her head pressed against the pillow, the red hair spread over the white fabric. His erection grew even harder at the sight. She was teasing him and she didn't even know it.

When he figured that this could end embarrassingly, he moved up to face her. Her face was flush, her lips parted and swollen. He kissed her hungrily.

She spread her legs wider apart and tried to let him know what he wanted. He got the picture. With all the gentleness he could muster, he entered her body. It was wonderful. He had almost forgotten how good she felt. Savoring the moment, he moved out of her slowly, thrusting back in even slower. She pressed her head back to the pillow and let out another moan that drove him crazy.

She wrapped her legs around his body and he was lost. His thrust got quicker and her body responded with an equal passion. She whispered his name in his ear and he could feel the muscles tighten around him. Already, he was surprised. He gave her all that he could, sliding one arm around her waist. She came with an intense orgasm, bucking against him, disturbing his pace. Seconds later, his hot semen filled her inside and he shivered.

They were definitely the talk of the office. It was painful, but Mulder was dealing with it the best as he could. He had always been observed and talked about by the other agents, but this was different.

"Look who just entered the cafeteria," an agent whispered to his partner, Mulder nearby.

Mulder looked up, seeing Krycek and Scully coming in together. He was surprised. With all the rumors that were circulating around them, he'd thought they'd keep a low profile and stay out of the public eye.

Mulder looked over at Ben sitting opposite from him. Neither Scully nor Krycek knew he had been working with Ben; he had tried to keep it quiet and as far as he was concerned, he had managed to do so. This day, there had been no time to take lunch anywhere else than in the building.

Krycek knew that everybody was observing them but tried to seem as if he didn't. The best thing would be to just ignore them -- pretend like there was nothing to see.

Ben had started to wonder what everybody was whispering about, turning to find the couple of the week walking past their table. He glanced worriedly at Mulder, who looked as if someone had stabbed a knife through his heart.

Scully looked up from the notes in her hand, surprised to see Mulder sitting ahead.

He turned his gaze away from them as she noticed him and turned to the man who was sitting opposite him.

From where she was sitting, she could only see his back, but she had the feeling she knew who it was. Probably the new agent he was working on that case with. She hadn't learned who he was yet; she honestly didn't want to know. It was just a part-time thing.

"Alex, don't look." She leaned over the table, trying to look as if she were saying something less personal. "But Mulder is sitting a few rows behind you."

He flinched but she had expected that. It was better if he were prepared before he saw him. They knew that they were being watched too carefully.

"Is he alone?" he asked, very surprised over the fact that Mulder was eating in the cafeteria. He had to be there with someone.

"No, there's someone with him," she told, trying to look but being discreet. "I can't see who it is, he's got his back turned this way --"

She noted from the corner of her eye that they were getting up to leave and tried to be discreet again as she looked to see who his friend was. The answer took her off guard.

"Do you see who it is?" he wanted to know, resisting the urge to turn around and see for himself.

Mulder could see her watching him as he neared their table. He knew that if he ignored them, that would only be more fodder for the gossips. The question was more if he cared. He didn't know.

Krycek looked at him, offered him a smile but saw the tense look on his face and turned away.

Krycek tried to hide his emotions as he looked up to meet Ben staring at him. He could see what was behind them and he felt a stab in his chest. What the hell was Mulder doing there with Ben?

"Mulder and I are working on a case together," Ben explained and looked back at Scully.

"Oh." She looked at Mulder, knowing she had to keep her cool. "So that was you," turning her gaze back at Ben.

Mulder met his eyes and knew the question there. He had to be wondering why Mulder hadn't told Scully who he was working with.

"Weren't you finished with that case?" Scully asked, forcing Mulder to face her.

"Well, yeah, but --" he looked briefly at Ben before looking back at her. "We decided to take a look at another case too."

Krycek felt nauseated. This was more than he was ready to deal with. Ben and Mulder. He didn't even want to think of what that really meant.

He looked at Scully, seeing the hurt in her eyes, but didn't bother to look at Krycek.

"See you around," Ben said with a smile, placing his hand on the small of Mulder's back to get him going.