TITLE:  World Without End: Book Two (11/?)
AUTHOR:  Rachel Anton
E-MAIL:  RAnton1013@aol.com

xxxxxx

All things considered, I think I've been handling 
this relatively well.  At least I had been.  Until 
this past Monday.  Until I saw that damn ring.

It's really amazing what kind of suffering a person 
can grow accustomed to.  I remember a story from my 
criminal justice class, a story of a man condemned to 
a life in prison.  He spent twenty five years behind 
bars and then suddenly, when he was sixty-two years 
old, he was granted parole.  He'd gotten so 
entrenched in prison life, so damned terrified of 
facing the outside world, that he killed himself on 
the day he was supposed to be released.  At least I 
think that was from my criminal justice class.  Might 
have been a movie though...

Whatever.  The point is, after a certain amount of 
time human beings can get used to just about any 
situation, no matter how miserable.  So I suppose 
it's not much of an accomplishment on my part that I 
haven't felt like shooting myself in the head for the 
past week or so.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity 
for the past two months, I've been settling in, 
exploring my surroundings, meeting some people, 
getting used to it.

And yes, that includes Scully and Krycek and 
their...whatever it is that they do.  After talking 
to her about it that first day I realized pretty fast 
that the situation wasn't likely to change any time 
soon.  Particularly not if I continued to stamp my 
feet about it like a petulant child.  That tactic 
never worked on Scully before and I think I've 
finally learned that it never will.  Instead I've 
tried to accept it.  Tried to get used to it.

I even made a peace offering to that son of a bitch.  
Held out my hand and he shook it, sealing the deal.  
I think I told myself that I was trying to do the 
right thing and I guess that I was.  In a way.  
Mostly I was trying to make Scully happy, make her 
see that I could handle this, that I could be the 
friend to her that I was before.  I didn't really 
consider Krycek in the equation which shouldn't 
really discount it as a worthless gesture.  Should 
it?

I suppose it should, since I didn't mean a lot of 
what I said.  I won't ever be able to give up on 
Scully.  But I'm willing to wait for her.  I'm 
willing to sit patiently and endure the situation for 
as long as it takes for her to realize.  To remember 
who she really belongs with.

At least I thought I was willing.  Until I saw the 
ring.

I guess it must have been a birthday gift.  She 
didn't have it on on Friday, when I gave her my gift.  
But Monday morning, there it was.  Sitting on her 
finger like the Jolly Green Giant's wedding band.

I told myself it was just a ring and didn't comment 
or ask her about it.  But I know who gave it to her 
and I know what it means when a man gives a woman a 
ring and puts it on that goddamn finger.  And 
suddenly she went from being his misguided and 
confused girlfriend to his ready, willing and able 
wife.  And I decided that I couldn't sit on my ass 
waiting for her anymore.

I've been too complacent.  Of course, that 
complacency has given me the opportunity to spend 
more time with her.  She seems to feel more 
comfortable with me now than she did when I first got 
here, and it's been so nice just working with her 
again.  Getting our old rhythms back, getting in 
synch again.  I don't want to lose that.

I honestly don't know what to do.  All I know is that 
I've been having heart palpitations and felt 
consistently on the verge of vomiting ever since I 
saw that monstrous piece of jewelry.

It changes everything.  Again.

I didn't sleep last night.  Tried to, but after six 
hours had passed I realized it wasn't going to happen 
and got out of bed.  I walked around the campus for 
awhile, looked at the stars in the sky and the snow 
on the ground, the buildings that used to house 
young, idealistic college students and now contained 
bitter, weary resistance fighters, and I wondered how 
in the hell we all ended up like this.

Sometimes I think there might have been something I 
could have done.  But there probably wasn't.  It's 
really nothing but egotism to think that there was.

As the sun was rising I wandered back to my dorm but 
I didn't return to my room.  Instead I walked through 
the darkened, mostly empty halls.  Scully would have 
laughed but I swear I felt the ghosts of those 
college students walking with me.

I went down to the basement for the first time.  Most 
of the rooms were recreation rooms, similar to the 
one Marita and I were brought to on that first night.  
Almost all of the doors were wide open.  I chose to 
fully explore the one that not only had a closed door 
but a lock as well and a sign that said "No 
Trespassing".

Well, what's the point of exploring if you're not 
going to find anything interesting?

Truth be told, I didn't find much.  A lot of broken, 
useless crap mostly.  But hidden among the trash was 
a treasure.  A cassette player.  The cord was still 
intact and there were a couple of tapes in a garbage 
bag next to it.  I grabbed them all and by the time I 
was done, realized it was almost time to go to work 
at the lab.

I hadn't figured a way out of this hellish situation 
but I had found something that might make her smile.

I brought the radio and a few of the tapes to work 
with me and tested it out before anyone else showed 
up.  It worked.  It didn't work great but it worked.  
I left it on the wooden table Scully likes to use and 
when she comes in, it's the first thing she sees.  
The damn ring is the first thing I see.

Then I see the rest of her.  It's still sort of 
strange for me to see her coming to work in a pair of 
beaten up old jeans and a sweater.  I keep expecting 
her to dig up some discarded Donna Karan suit and a 
pair of those twelve inch heels she used to wear.  
And her hair, who knew it was so curly?  Seven years 
together and I never saw it in its natural state.  
She's got it up in a bun today, held together with a 
pencil.

She glances at the radio and then at me and I grin 
excitedly.  She takes her sweater off and pulls a 
white lab coat over her pink T-shirt.  Who knew 
Scully wore pink?

"Where did this come from?"  she asks and I get up 
from the stool I was sitting on and walk over to her.

"I found it in the basement."

"Basement?"

"Yeah, the basement in the building I live in."

She crosses her arms over her chest and turns so that 
she's facing me directly.  She looks vaguely 
suspicious.

"I went exploring."

"Exploring?  Mulder..."

Oh, it's reprimanding Scully.  My favorite.

"What?  It was just sitting there."

She's shaking her head but I see the hints of a smile 
tugging on her lips.  She's easier than she used to 
be.

"Just sitting there huh?  I'm surprised you're the 
first person to have found it."

"Well, it was kind of hidden."

"Hidden?"

"The door was kind of...locked.  Look, Scully, it's 
Megadeth!"   I hold up the tape as a distraction, 
knowing full well that it won't work.

"Mulder, did you...you went into *that* room?  The 
one with the No Trespassing sign?"

"Yeah, I was wondering about that.  Why's it locked 
up like that?"

"Because, Mulder, it's connected to a tunnel system 
which is now blocked up but Alex likes to keep it 
locked.  For security, Mulder.  I can't believe 
you...nevermind.  Why should I be surprised."

"Well it's silly to have it locked.  There's lots of 
cool stuff in there."

"Cool stuff, huh?"

"Look, Scully, The Village People!  God, I wonder who 
had this mix of music."

"And why in the world would they leave it behind?"

"It still works, Scully..."

She sighs but her arms are uncrossed now.  And we're 
close to a full-fledged smile.

"Mulder, we've got a lot of work to do today."

"How long has it been since you've heard honest to 
God music, Scully?  Come ON!"  

Her eyebrows are almost up to her hairline but she's 
laughing a little bit.  Houston, we have contact.

I pop the tape in and hit play and the familiar, if 
slightly warped by time, strains of Macho Man fill 
the lab.

"Mulder..."

Now she's really laughing and I start dancing around 
like a goober, singing and clapping.

"Dance with me, Scully."

I turn up the volume and hold out my hand.  She walks 
towards me and says...something.  I can't hear her 
over the music.

"What did you say?"

"I SAID SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE."

Thank God for that.

She starts taking her coat off again and I clap and 
hoot like a drunken stripclub patron.  She smiles big 
and wraps it around my neck.  I tug on it while it's 
still in her hands and soon we're slow dancing in a 
completely inappropriate way.  Inappropriate 
considering we're listening to the freaking Village 
People anyway.  But nice.  So nice.  Not as close as 
I would like.  She's still maintaining a certain 
degree of personal space, proper for a married woman 
such as herself.  But I've got my arm around her 
waist and I'm holding her hand.  Feels just perfect.

I'm afraid my dancing skills have diminished somewhat 
though and I end up practically tripping over her.

"Sorry, it's been awhile."

She laughs and says...something else.

"What?"

"I said JUST STAY OFF MY TOES!"  

"Oh, oh, those are your TOES?"

"HA HA."

YMCA comes on next and I know all the words to this 
one.  Can't believe I remember them after all this 
time.  But I do so I start singing them into her ear.  
She responds but, of course, I can't hear her.  It's 
probably just as well.

She rolls her eyes and leans over to turn the music 
down some.  Her chest brushes against my arm briefly 
and I notice, not for the first time, that she isn't 
wearing a bra.  Shit.  I guess it's a good thing 
we're not dancing *that* close.

"Did we ever have this much fun working at the FBI?"  
she asks.

"I did."

I try to look into her eyes but with those sneakers 
she's wearing, they're about level with my naval.  
Well, not really.  She's not *that* short.  But I 
wouldn't be able to see them unless she craned her 
neck pretty extensively.

"I always had fun with you, Scully."

"Always?"

"Mmm...maybe not always.  But most times.  Most of 
the time I had fun just being around you."

"Right.  Most times at my expense..."

"Oh, Scully, that is a *total* lie!"  

"Lie?  What lie?"

"I never made fun of you.  Never.  Your memories are 
obviously clouded by time."

"Mulder, forget memories.  You were in the clouds the 
entire time I knew you."

"See, there you go again.  Remembering things 
entirely wrong.  If you'll really look at things 
objectively, you'll see that I was right all along.  
Wasn't I?"

She grumbles something unintelligible, even though 
the music is relatively quiet now.

"Wasn't I, Scully?  I mean jeez, just look around!"  

She laughs through her nose and that soon gives way 
to an actual giggle.

"Yes, Mulder.  I suppose you were."

"What was that, Scully?  I didn't hear you."  I 
tease, even though I heard her loud and clear this 
time.

She throws her head back and shouts through her 
laughter.

"I said YOU WERE RIGHT!  Yes yes yes, you were RIGHT!  
Are you happy now, Mulder?"

I can see her eyes now and I look down into them.  I 
guess my expression must be pretty serious because 
she stops laughing and looks back.

"You know, I am.  Right now, I am happy, Scully."

She stares silently and the Village People continue 
to sing on in the background.  We're not dancing 
anymore.

I don't think I've ever wanted to kiss her as much as 
I do right now.  I could.  God, it would be so easy.  
So easy and so incredibly difficult.  What would she 
do?  Kiss me back?  Slap me?  Cry?

Probably not.  Probably not any of those things.  
She'd pull back and calmly tell me that she's 
involved in another relationship now.  That I can't 
just take those kind of liberties the way I used to.

Except I didn't used to.  In all those years, I never 
actually got to it.  I wonder why I feel so much 
braver now.

Her skin is flushed and I don't think she's 
breathing.  It's one of those moments.  One of those 
do or die moments that always seemed to fall apart 
for us in the past.

Not this time.

"Dana, are you..."

Crap.  Motherfucker.  This can't be happening.  But 
it is.  He's standing in the doorway.  Krycek.  
Standing there looking at us and she's pulling away 
from me now, of course.  Fiddling frantically with 
the tape player, turning it off, turning an even 
brighter shade of pink.

"Alex..."

"Are you gonna come to the meeting or what?"  he 
asks, obviously disgruntled but trying very hard not 
to show it.

"Meeting...I...oh, yeah.  Yeah.  I was just...I guess 
I forgot that was today."

"Well, it is.  We're waiting for you."

"I...I'm sorry.  Just let me..."

She looks around helplessly for something to do.  I 
see her sweater sitting on the table and hand it to 
her.  I glance in his direction and see that he's 
very pointedly *not* looking at me.  No, he's looking 
at her only.  Staring really.  Staring daggers.

I'm almost sorry.  For her.  I'm sorry that she's 
going to have to hear about this from him.  But I'm 
not sorry it happened.  Nothing could make me sorry 
it happened.

She grabs the sweater from me and pulls it over her 
head, causing her already loosened bun to come 
completely on done.  The pencil falls to the floor 
with an almost embarrassing thunk.

"I'm...I'm ready.  Let's go."

She hurries off to join him but before she leaves the 
room she turns back to me.

"I'll see you in a while, Mulder."

I nod, smile, wave.

Then they're gone and I'm not sure how I feel.  I 
think I still feel good.  I think I still feel happy.

xxxxxx

End Chapter Eleven