TITLE:  World Without End: Book II (2/?)
AUTHOR:  Rachel Anton
E-MAIL: RAnton1013@aol.com

xxxxxx

I'm relatively sure that I've been here for three days.  It's difficult to tell because there are no windows here.  Only three white washed cement walls and one chain link fence that separates me from the rest of the basement.  I have a small cot on the floor which is also made of cement, a sink and toilet, and a little furry rodent friend I've taken to calling Krycek-face.

The bastard himself hasn't been down to see me since that first night.  The only person I've seen is a menacing looking warden type guy who brings me food and water at somewhat regular intervals.  So far he's given me six potatoes.  I'm thinking I get two a day which is where the three day estimate comes from.  He slides them through this little door in the fence.  Just like a ferret cage.  He doesn't say anything.  Ever.  I've tried talking to him.  I've tried asking him to let me out of here, to let me see her, or at least to get Krycek down here so I can spit on him and see how he likes it.  But he doesn't respond to anything I say or do.

I've tried screaming but no one hears.  No one comes.

When I hear the door opening and footsteps moving down the stairs, I figure it's potato man and that maybe another day has passed.

But the footsteps are different.  Softer.  Could it be?  I try not to let myself hope but I do anyway.  When I see her standing in front of my cell I think that maybe the isolation has driven me insane.  Maybe I am hallucinating.

I run up to the caging and press my face against the wire, reach my fingers through the holes, trying to touch her to see if she's real.

"Sc..Scully?"

It is only when I speak her name that I realize how hoarse and dehydrated I sound.

She nods and says "Yes," very quietly.  She's standing several feet away.  But she's here.  God, she's really here.

And I have no idea what to say to her.

"Are you...are you okay, Scully?"

She looks at me strangely, with an expression I don't recognize, can't place.

"You...you sound like you need some water.  I'll be right back."

"NO!"  My throat aches with the effort of yelling, reminding me just how badly I do need water but I'm terrified to let her out of my sight now that she's here.  What if she never comes back?

"No, Scully, just...just stay a minute."

She stands there with her arms crossed protectively over her chest, mouth drawn in a tight, straight line, looking pointedly away from me and all I can do is stare.  She looks so incredibly beautiful.  I just want to drop to my knees at her feet and sob.  I can't get to her feet though because I'm in a fucking cage.

"I'm....sorry.  About this," she says, gesturing broadly at my surroundings.  "I didn't....didn't realize."

"That's, no, Scully, that's not your fault.  God, I don't blame you.  It's not you.  I realize that.  It's him.  He's a bastard, Scully.  That's..."

She flinches and shakes her head.

"No, it is my fault partially.  You don't..."

"No, I won't accept that, Scully.  This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with with with...HIM."

She sighs and finally looks directly at my face, searching.

"You certainly act like him," she murmurs and I notice a tear gathering in the corner of her eye.

"I...what?"

"Who are you?  Who are you really?"

My heart sinks into my shoes and my mouth goes completely dry.

"I...Sc....Scully?"  I whisper and she covers her mouth with her hand.

"Don't you know?  Don't you know me, Scully?  God, please don't do this to me."

"I...I thought..."

"What?"

"I saw...I saw you die!  I saw it.  I saw it."

The pain and anguish in her eyes is almost overbearing.  It's almost enough to make me want to look away from her.  God, Scully, I'm so sorry.

"You saw...what you saw..."  I stammer, sensing the reemergence of an old argument.  Do you still hold onto your scientific observation, Scully?  Is that still your truth after all of this.  I hope so.  But I also hope there's room in there for an allowance, an understanding of what I am.  What's happened to me.

I wonder if you can see the irony here.  I have become the very thing that I struggled for so long to prove the existence of.  To you especially.

"And...and, if you didn't die, if what you told Alex is true, then...then where were you?  Where, where have you been, Mulder?"

Now I really can't look at her anymore.  How can I explain?  How could she ever accept this?  How could I have possibly screwed up this badly?

"Where?"  she whispers, moving closer to the barrier between us.  Something in the back of my head registers the fact that she's just referred to my captor as "Alex" once again but I push it down and away before considering it.

Then I realize that if she's gotten her information about me from him, it's no wonder she doesn't know what to think.  God only knows what he's told her.

"Wait, wait.  What did he, what did 'Alex' tell you?"

"That you told him you were converted.  Against your will.  That that's what I saw."

I just nod, shocked speechless by the fact that the little shit told the truth for once in his life.

"Is that what really happened?"

"Yes."

"So then, where...where were you, Mulder?  I mean why..."

There are a thousand unspoken questions in that one word.  Why, Mulder?  Why?  Why did you let this happen to me?  Why did you stay away?  Why?

I can't stand to even face her anymore, to see the questions, the confusion in her eyes.  I turn around and face the wall and inhale a few times, struggling for the words to explain.

"Mulder?"

"I uh...when I woke up, after, I had no recollection of what had happened to me.  I thought...I thought I'd fallen asleep, taken a nap on my couch."

I laugh a little bit and turn back to her, hoping to see at least one of the corners of her mouth turn up a fraction of an inch.  She's still got her arms crossed and now she's frowning.  It's getting worse.

"Uh...anyway, turns out I'd been out for weeks.  When I finally came to I looked up to see our old friend smoky, hovering above me.  I couldn't believe he was still alive, Scully.  Couldn't believe it.  I thought maybe he was the devil, coming to bring me back to hell with him."

I search her eyes for a grain of understanding but she's so closed off to me.

"What happened next?"

"Uh...next.  Next I flew up out of that bed I was lying on and proceeded to strangle the motherfucker."

She sighs impatiently and closes her eyes.

"And after that?"

"After that I felt a prick on my arm and I lost consciousness again.  And then...then I woke up and he uh...he told me what had happened to me.  And...to you."

"To me."

"He told me that...that you were a slave."

Her mouth drops open a tiny bit and she exhales a billow of air.

"He...Scully..."

"You knew, then.  You knew that I was alive, that I was a slave."

"Yes," I whisper, my head ducked down as far as it could go.

"You knew...did you know that I saw, that I thought you were dead?"

"He gave me a deal, Scully," I blurt, now desperate to get it all out and face whatever wrath she might have for me.

"Deal?"

"He told me that if I worked for him for seven years and didn't try to find you or anything that after the seven years were over, we'd both be free.  And...and he said they'd take the chip out and that they'd cure you so you wouldn't get the cancer.  He said they'd convert you and then you wouldn't get sick."

"Seven ye...I was supposed to be a slave for seven years?"

"I didn't...he said you wouldn't know the difference, Scully.  That it would be better for you."

I realize how completely lame that sounds and shut my mouth.  God, if I say "he said!"  one more time I think I'm going to be sick.

"Mulder..."

"Scully, I just wanted to be able to see you again.  To know that you were all right and that we'd be together again.  I didn't...I didn't know what else to do.  They were going to kill you otherwise!"

"Mulder..."  she says again and this time I control the urge to babble out more of an explanation in the silence.

"Mulder, I would have rather died than be a slave for seven years."

I don't know what to say to that.  I suppose a part of me knew that to be true but I didn't let myself consider it.  How could I?

"Mulder, I can't...even...believe...You've been alive this entire time?!"

I just nod, finding myself unable to speak.  I bite my lip to keep myself from crying.

"Do you know what I...what....God, Mulder!"

"I didn't...I didn't know what else to do."

"You could have said no."

"Scully, they were taking care of you and...and I just wanted to be able to be with you again.  I thought...I thought you'd want that too."

"I did want that, Mulder.  When I got my brain back.  But by then I thought you were dead."

"I know.  I...it wasn't supposed to be this way."

I was supposed to be there when she remembered.  I was supposed to take the chip out.  I was supposed to be able to show her that I wasn't dead.

"No, I guess if it went the way it was supposed to, I would still be a slave right now.  Only a year or so till I get to be 'converted' though so I guess that makes it worth it."

"I...I'm sorry, Scully.  I just, I thought it was the only way.  I thought I was protecting you."

She nods slowly and then looks away, trying to hide the fact that she is crying too.

After a few moments of painful, agonizing silence she asks, "Why did you trust him, Mulder?  After everything."

"I...I don't...I just wanted to be with you again, Scully.  I thought it was the only way."

She's quiet again for a moment and she stares at me.  Her eyes grow dark and even colder.

"There's always another way," she says with a finality that I suppose signals the end of this conversation.  I don't know what else I can say to explain this to her right now anyway.  Besides, there are more pressing matters to be dealt with at the moment.  Once we have a place where we can just be, then we can work out the past.  I can make it up to her.  I know that I can.

"Scully, we can, we can leave here you know.  We can leave tonight."

"Mulder..."  she breaks off into a sigh and shakes her head.

"We can, Scully.  Just say the word.  I can...I can get you out of here."

"Get me..."  She finally smiles and even laughs a small, sad laugh.  But it doesn't make me happy.  I wasn't trying to be funny.

"Mulder, I think you're the one who needs me to get you out."

"Well, yeah but...I mean, I'm just saying we don't have to stay here."

"This, Mulder, I'm not being held prisoner here.  This is my home."

"Your home?  Here?  With...with, with HIM?"  

"Yes, Mulder, with him and the four or five hundred other people who live here.  I've been here for five years.  It's the only home I know."

"But, Scully, it's...it's KRYCEK!"

She rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips and I swear to God, she looks almost offended.  I'm starting to think that bastard has been doing a little brainwashing of his own.

"Mulder, what does that mean?"

"Whaddya mean what does that mean?  Scully, he...look at me!  He's got me caged here like a fucking animal!"

"Mulder, he didn't know.  He didn't know what you were.  You could have been a spy, an assassin, God only knows what.  Look, I'm not saying this was an appropriate way to handle it.  I don't condone this but..."

"Scully!  That's a load of crap!  He's got me in here because he hates my guts.  Because it makes him feel like a bigger man.  Probably some kind of overcompensation issue or something."

"Mulder, please.  That's not..."

"Why are you defending him?"

Her face turns red, from anger or embarrassment I can't tell.

"He's been...he's a friend...to me."

"A friend?  Krycek?"

"Mulder he...he helped me get through a lot of things.  He...he saved my life, kept me from giving up, from..."

She looks down at her hands which are wrung together in a tight knot and I follow her eyes, noticing for the first time two small scars on the insides of her wrists.  That can't be what it...

Oh, God.  Oh, Scully.

"Sc..."

"This is a good place, Mulder.  He's doing a good thing.  I'm going to get the key and get you out of here so that you can decide for yourself whether or not you want to stay.  As far as I'm concerned, you're welcome to."

She turns to go and I feel like this conversation just flew by way too fast.  I didn't get to say anything important and I feel as though she's farther away from me than she was before we talked.

"Scully, wait!"

"Mulder?"

"I...I just, I need to ask you...um..."

She turns back to me and her body is still stiff and cold but there is a glimmer of warmth in her eyes.  A tiny glimmer.

"Do you think you'll ever forgive me, Scully?"

"I...I can try, Mulder.  This whole thing is going to take some time.  We...we need some time to adjust."

I nod even though I don't need that time.  I know what I want.  I know what we need to do.  God, I can't waste any more time.

"We can make up a room for you and get you a meal card and all that.  Then if you decide to stay for good, we'll figure out something for you to do."

"Will you tuck me in at night?"

She doesn't respond but I guess I didn't expect her to.  It's not like she would have before either.

"I'll be right back."

"Scully, you...you look good.  Really, really...you look beautiful.  I never, never got the chance to tell you that...really."

She gives me a very strange, unreadable look and mutters "thank you".  Then she turns around and runs up the stairs and away from me.

xxxxxx 

End Chapter Two, Book Two