A Shared Obsession: Chapter Five

by Satina

Damn it.  Where is he?  Dana Scully tried to tune in to the intuitive connection she denied she shared with her partner in order to discern his whereabouts and state of being.  She wasn't picking up anything, though, and it worried her.  Must be the residual alcohol, combined with the Vicadin in her bloodstream.  For Mulder's sake, (and maybe Krycek's?) she hoped that Krycek had had the good sense to get far away from Washington D.C.  after his visit to her bedroom.  Of course if he had, that meant she might not see Mulder for a very long time, because she knew that Mulder wouldn't rest until he'd found him.

Damn it.  How did they get here?  Scully was at once flattered and frustrated by her partner's chivalry, and she harbored a fair amount of guilt over being the reason her partner was out running around like a comic book superhero trying to avenge her honor.

She snorted.  Oh Mulder.  If you only knew how honorable I was with Alex Krycek's hard body slamming mine into the plaster of my bedroom wall.  I mean, yeah, it sucks that he stepped on my damn phone and gave me a sprained elbow, and it really pissed me off when he took that fascinating file, but it was almost (Okay TOTALLY) worth it for the fuck of the century.

She sighed and rubbed her legs together under the quilt spread over her on the couch.

Don't hurt him.  Her silent plea went out to both men, and she hoped the Vicadin haze wasn't clouding that psychic line she knew she shared with at least one of them, the more crazed of the two.

Truth be told, she wasn't really afraid of Krycek hurting Mulder, except in self-defense.  For some reason, Mulder had never been the target of Krycek's murderous intentions, although Scully knew that years ago she herself had been.  She felt a twinge of the old guilt and pain and sent out yet another apology to Missy for her unfair and untimely death.

No.  Krycek, for some reason, kept Mulder around and even let Mulder take out his rage and frustration by smacking him around.  Scully never did get that.  Here's a hard, dark, dangerous killer doing absolutely nothing as his nemesis takes swing after swing at his beautiful face and body.  Witnessing these interactions, Scully found herself admiring Krycek's strength of will and scorning Mulder's loss of control.

No, she was pretty sure Krycek would not seriously harm Mulder unless he was absolutely forced to.  She wasn't as sure about Mulder's sense of compassion when it came to Krycek, though.  Something about that man turned her usually rational, cool, and maddeningly unaffected partner into a violent, physical storm of rage.  If Mulder suspected sexual assault, he might be pushed right over the edge.  Scully just hoped that Krycek was as resourceful about saving his life when confronted with a mad man as he had been up till this point.

She fell into an uneasy sleep on the couch with thoughts of the violent confrontation swimming through her mind.

Alex Krycek sighed at the sense of deja vu as he crept up to the Georgetown apartment window.  The blinds were closed this time, so he couldn't see inside.  He knew she was in there, though, because he been watching the apartment for the better part of the evening and had seen the flickering of the television.  He really had no idea how Scully might react to his showing up at her apartment again.  Would she simply shoot him in the head?  No, that would make too big of a mess of her impeccable furnishings, and besides, she had threatened him with a gut-shot before, hadn't she?  Those were much more lingering and painful.  She was a doctor.  She oughta know.

He waited until he could sense no movement or sound from behind the blinds, then silently made his way to the door.

He started reaching for the lock-picking tool he had used less than 24 hours ago.  Had it only been that long since he'd taken a liberty that had changed the lives of all three of them forever?  As his hands closed over the small, delicate electronic device, he had a totally insane impulse.

What would happen if he just knocked?

He nearly laughed out loud at the wildness of the idea.  Alex Krycek, showing up on the doorstep of Special Agent Dana Scully, with a sheepish grin and a heartfelt apology for fucking her senseless up against her bedroom wall.

Geez, maybe he oughta bring her some flowers or something.

Krycek shook his head, feeling like he'd just stepped into some sort of parallel universe.  He was actually seriously considering bringing flowers to Dana Scully, and he was actually letting himself hope she would accept them.

What the fuck are you thinking here, Alex?  You are not some errant lover trying to schmooze his way out of the doghouse!  You are an arch-enemy trying to make amends for losing control with a woman who has been an unescapable and totally bewildering part of your life for six years and who would probably enjoy nothing better than putting a bullet (or three) in your sorry ass… no, wait, stomach.  No flowers.  Just get in there, say your piece, and get the fuck out of Dodge.

His hands closed back around the device and he set to work once again.

He heard the lock give and froze, but nothing happened, so he slowly, oh so slowly turned the knob, again feeling almost dizzy with deja vu.

The apartment was once again dark, but this time there was a faint blue glow effusing the living room furniture with a ghostly appearance.  And this time Dana Scully wasn't tucked deeply into her fluffy white comforter, but was curled up under a quilt on her living room couch.  And this time Krycek knew what it felt like to be inside that petite little body and knew the sounds she made as she succumbed to her own dark desires.

He stood there, not breathing, awestruck by the sight before him.  The blue glow of the TV imbued her pale skin with an otherworldly light reminiscent to Krycek of the angels portrayed in old-world evangelical paintings.  She looked so pure, so good, so childlike and innocent, curled up on her side, her lashes softly fluttering just a bit as she dreamed.  It hurt to look at her.

It hurt even more when he noticed the bandaging extending from her wrist all the way up to her shoulder.

Dana.  God I'm sorry.  I'm really sorry.

Krycek didn't realize he'd spoken the words aloud.  Scully's eyes fluttered open and fixed on him and her lips parted slightly.

Time stretched out between them as they both stared silently into one another's eyes, neither willing to make the first move.

"I… I didn't realize I'd hurt you."  His voice was low, almost too low for Scully to hear.  But she heard him and said nothing, glancing down at her arm and back up again.  She watched as his eyes swept over her body from toes to head, lingering on the bandages wrapping her right arm.  She felt her breathing become shallow and labored, and wondered if she had anything to fear from the dark form looming over her tired and drugged body.  From the tone of his voice, she surmised that he wasn't here to hurt her.  She didn't say anything, and didn't take her eyes off him as he shifted uneasily from one booted foot to the other.

As her eyes adjusted to the low light and she felt the sleep-fog clear from her medicated mind, she noticed the swellings and small lacerations decorating the darkly intense face in front of her.  She watched, fascinated, as a tiny tip of pink tongue flicked out and licked at the cut on the lip below it absently.  She felt herself lick her own lips in response and brought her eyes back up to his quickly, wondering if he'd seen the unconscious gesture.  The heated gleam that met her glance made her think that indeed, he had.

"Scully… Dana…"  She gasped just the tiniest bit at his use of her first name, the intimacy of it somehow more powerful than if he had brushed his thumb across her tingling nipples.  "I didn't mean to hurt you.  I hate that I hurt you."  His voice was so low, so deep.  It made her forget how to breathe and she couldn't help but to sigh softly from between parted lips.  He was looking down now, and she studied the top of his sleek, silky dark head and felt an intense need to run her fingers through what she knew to be super soft, musky-smelling hair.  She took the opportunity to study his body while he was not watching her, letting her gaze travel slowly over his throat (were those bruises and scratches there, as well?), down over the rapid rise and fall of his rigid chest and abdomen encased in a black T-shirt and that madness-inducing black leather, stopping to carefully examine the fly of his black jeans with special interest, then finishing with a loving assessment of strong, flexing thighs poured into tight black denim.  And black leather hiking boots.  Had the man no mercy?

She cleared her throat.  "Krycek.  Um… Alex."  He looked up at her from beneath lowered lashes at that, and she swallowed hard.  "I'm OK, really.  What I mean is, I don't blame you for my arm.  Hey, we fought, I got hurt.  It didn't happen during…"  She took a deep breath and snapped her mouth shut, unable to say the words out loud.  Still surveying her from beneath those unfairly dark, thick lashes, Scully watched as those soft, talented lips curved into a sly smile.  It was almost all she could do not to moan.

"The sex?"  Alex's voice was low and teasing, but gentle.  Then it became instantly serious again and he raised his head to face her again.  The smile turned warm.  "I'm glad.  I didn't know if it would make you feel like…"  It was Krycek's turn to want for words.  "Like you had been violated."  His words ended on a reluctant, hoarse note and he looked away a moment before meeting her gaze again.

Scully looked down, then peered up from under her own lashes.  "I didn't feel that way."  She let the words stand a moment, listening to the sound of their breaths filling the room.  "But it really did piss me off when you took that file."  She smirked, making her expression what she hoped was playful and teasing.

Alex sighed deeply, catching the teasing lilt, but also regretting that he had so obviously been playing on the other team when he'd come to her apartment.  "Scully… Dana… you didn't know what you had.  I was ordered to retrieve that file, and everything else had to come second."

"Is that why you left?"  Scully regretted the words as soon as she had said them.  What the fuck?  Do you really think it's a good idea to sound so damn needy in front of this man?

Krycek gasped, unable to conceal the surprise he felt at hearing the obvious want in her voice.  "I… I never… God, Dana I sure didn't think you'd want me to stay!"  He felt his hands twitching at his sides.  What the hell are you supposed to do with your hands when they're not holding a gun, anyway?

He watched this baffling female creature before him, not letting himself believe that she had actually wanted him to stay.  That maybe… maybe she wanted him to stay now.  He nearly groaned aloud at the thought, his crotch becoming uncomfortably tight.

She looked ashamed, as if regretting that she had said too much to him, and he wanted so badly to assure her that he would not use her confession to hurt her.  He eyed her incredulously, paralyzed and unable to think of a single damn thing to say to break the pregnant silence between them.  His paralysis broke when a gleam of light from the television illuminated the shine of unshed tears in her eyes.  He immediately fell to his knees beside the couch, reaching for her hands.

"No… Dana… don't.  I'm sorry I left.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you… Dana I never let myself believe that you would want anything from me but my incarceration or even death!  God… I never even let myself want to stay, Dana!  If I had even let myself think about it, I would never have been able to do my job."  He cringed at the way she frowned at the word "job" and again struggled to soothe her obvious pain.

He took her one good hand in both of his and nearly swooned when she made no attempt to extract herself from his caress.  He rubbed his thumbs against her impossibly tiny wrist, absently trying to soothe away any pain he'd inflicted the night before as he tried to make her understand the war of emotions he felt thundering in his heart and mind.

"Listen, Dana, I know you think I'm the lowest vermin ever to slink the earth.  And I know you can't understand the things I do.  But please try to hear me out.  I do what I do because I believe in what I'm working for.  I don't believe in the men I associate with all the time.  Hell, I don't even always believe in what I'm doing, but there are reasons for the choices I've made."  Part of him wanted to run away and hide himself in a dark, safe place, secure in the fact that his world and that of Mulder and Scully would never have to really meet, except in the occasional violent confrontation.  The other part of him was so tired.  So sick and tired of knowing that the three of them were all fated to be fighting the same fight in the end.  That they'd just started on different teams with different means.  "Scully."  He used her last name with purpose, trying to impress her with the seriousness of his words.  "We aren't living in the same world we used to.  Maybe there was a time when it was always right to put the lives of innocent individuals before the cause.  A time when we could all stay within the stringent confines of the law and an archaic ethical code and still work toward our freedom.  But Scully… Dana…"  He gently put his fingers under her chin and leaned in toward her face.  "We don't live in that world anymore.  You know it.  I know you do.  And it kills me probably more than anything I've ever had to do, that you have to give up your innocence and belief in the greater good, but it would kill me more to see you die by that naivete.  And I can't let you continue to walk around in the dark, tripping over bits of dangerous truth, wondering if you're going to see through to the bigger picture before you find yourself in falling through some black hole into hell."

Alex felt his mind and body held in thrall as he stared into bottomless blue eyes, touching soft, sweet-smelling skin and feeling the life force of this incredibly strong, passionate woman radiating at him from just inches away.

Dana felt the slightly scratchy but incredibly gentle fingers burning into the vulnerable flesh of her chin and jaw as he continued to hold her face in place.  She rebelled inwardly at the words he was saying, all the while knowing in some deep part of her heart that things had, irrevocably and inconceivably, changed.  She felt the last standing wall that she was protecting herself from this man with begin to crumble and fall beneath the weight of this undeniable and shattering truth.

No longer could she continue to tell herself that Alex Krycek was an evil man, just working selfishly toward his own ends.  A thief and assassin as talented and accomplished as Krycek could have been living a life of gluttonous luxury by plying his trade for the highest bidder anywhere else in the world.  Drug dealers with one-fourth of his skills and one-eighth of his charm were living in veritable palaces.  He didn't have to remain tethered to a life-threatening, always-shifting, never- trustworthy group of men with designs on owning the future.  He obviously worked within this group of conniving, back-stabbing co-conspirators because he believed in the work itself and the difference it would make in the coming fight.

And in the now-forseeable and unavoidable future, they were all going to need men exactly like Alex Krycek if they had any hope of surviving.

Dana realized with a slow slide to madness that she needed him for her survival right now.  Before he had a chance to even figure out what she was doing, she threw herself forward and pressed her lips against his mouth with a small, needy moan.

Oh.  My.  God.  What's happening?  Is this for real?  Dana Scully is kissing me.  I'm not kissing her; she's kissing me.  This has got to be the most unreal moment of my entire unreal life.

Alex felt the plump, sweet lips pressing against his and felt a shock go through his whole body when her small pink tongue started to trace his still-closed lips.  With a start, he realized he was so overcome with shock and pleasure that he was simply existing in the power of her kiss and not returning it.  With a desperate, high-pitched whimpering grunt, he opened his mouth and swept her tongue inside with his own, drinking in her kiss with a hunger he could hardly keep in check.  He raised up on his knees higher, pressing her back into the corner of the couch, pushing his hand up the side of her face to entwine his fingers in her soft, fine fall of russet hair, running the other one up the side of her body roughly.

Her small sound of pain brought his explorations to an immediate standstill.  He drew back, startled remorse evident on his panting face.  "God, Dana, I'm sorry!"  He put his hands up before him in his "I'm harmless, really!"  gesture and leaned back away from her, on the edge of crying with shame and frustration.

"No Alex… come back."  Dana reached her good hand out toward him, grabbing the collar of his jacket and jerking him closer.  "You just need to be a little more careful.  I'm not as tough as I was the other night."  She raised her eyebrows with an impertinent smirk.  "Guess you'll have to go slower this time."

Alex gasped out his relieved laughter as he felt her pulling him forcibly back into contact with her lips.  He murmured against them as she re-instigated the kiss.  "I can do slow.  I do slow really well."  She moaned against the words.

He began by softly, slowly letting his tongue swirl around hers in her open mouth, his lips just barely touching hers, the warm air of their kiss breathing out from between them.  He withdrew his tongue just long enough to speak against her lips once more.  "I'm pretty good with gentle, too."  He licked at her open lips and returned to his barely-touching kiss, mimicking the butterfly pressure of his lips with his hands, stroking down, feather-soft, over her neck and shoulders, then carefully but quickly lifting the quilt up and throwing it down at her feet, uncovering her reclining form.

His body ached to merge itself with this moaning, sighing, writhing woman in front of him.  The pleasure was almost pain as he felt his straining cock brush her bent knee through the fabric of stretched denim.  He groaned with frustration, using the iron will and patience that had kept him alive countless times to now keep his body from taking over and ravaging the one laid before it.  He was going to take his time and show her how precious and invaluable she was if it killed him.  And the way his heart was thudding in his bruised throat as he struggled for control, it just might.

Dana felt those killer's lips brush so softly against her own and then felt Alex Krycek's tongue stroke the inside of her mouth without increasing the pressure.  It just about drove her right out of her mind.  She wanted to suck his tongue deeply into her mouth and crush his lips with her own, but she had told him to go slow, and she was trembling with desire at the thought of this hardened criminal taking his time and driving her slowly crazy with soft pleasure.  So she swallowed her impulses to yank his face hard against hers and surrendered herself up totally to his teasing ministrations.

She felt the cold chill of the removal of the quilt for only a moment, giving it only as much attention as she could spare from the hand just barely touching her now painfully erect nipples with gentle fingertips.  She arched her body up into the barely-there touch, but the fingers withdrew just enough to keep the touch light, making her whimper with frustrated need.

The tongue was now flicking at the corners of her partly open mouth, making its way from her lips to her jawline.  He painted it with a line of tiny, licking kisses from her chin to just behind her ear.  She only had one hand to work with and that one was being pinned beneath a gently pressing, hard as rock body as it pushed her back and down into the cushions of the couch.  She struggled to free her hand, needing to feel this firm, sweet flesh under her fingers.  She pushed downward, raising her body slightly off the couch and was rewarded with a sudden loud groan as her hand came in contact not-so-gently with a hard, hot bulge below the waist of her former enemy's jeans.

"No… oh God no Dana.  I want this to be all for you.  Just lie back, please."  His voice was hoarse and pleading as he used one hand to remove her fingers from his jumping cock while never pausing in the slow torture of her nipples with the other.

Dana whimpered again in frustration as her hand was tucked underneath her undulating hips, but she obeyed, far too excited at the prospect of being at this man's soft, languorous mercy to protest.  She sighed deeply and felt her body go liquid as she gave herself up in total submission.

"Good girl.  I promise.  You won't regret this."  Krycek raised his hands to her chest and pressed his tongue in the small openings between the halves of her pajama top as his fingers worked the satin-covered buttons from their buttonholes with easy grace.  Dana let out an open-mouthed groan as Alex very gently closed his teeth around first one nipple, then the other, brushing the pajama top open to bare her perfect breasts.  He had not had the chance to really appreciate them the first time, as he had not even taken the time to remove her top in his hurry to take her against the wall, but now he let his gaze travel over the delicious, soft white curves, feeling himself drool as his eyes took in the perfectly rose-pink nipples, standing erect and shiny with his saliva.

"God, Dana.  Are you real?  No one could be this beautiful.  It's just not possible."  He continued staring at her reverently and his gaze burned and made her gasp.  She could have sworn it was his hands on her and not just his eyes.

Alex realized he was neglecting his duties and elicited several more gasps like the first as he brushed the sides of those gorgeous breasts with his fingers and scraped his teeth across the nipples, breathing hot and wet against the taut, puckering flesh.

"You're killing me!"  Scully gasped, digging into the material of the couch with her good hand and rubbing her knees together as the attention being paid to her breasts was setting up a permanent line of communication between them and her clit.

Alex's eyes smoldered up at her beneath his lashes as his tongue extended out to tickle a nipple.  "What a way to go, though."  And he sucked her nipple into his mouth just once, firmly, before letting it slip from between his lips.

"Ohhhhhhh…"  Scully couldn't agree more as her hips jerked up off the couch of their own volition, dying to be brought into the fun.

Krycek was only too happy to oblige them.  He trailed his fingers down her sides, enjoying the way her body writhed beneath the tickling, torturing touch.  He slipped his fingers into the waistband of her pajamas and wondered if Dana Scully always wore her pajamas without panties or if he'd just gotten lucky last night.

Well he had gotten lucky, there was no fucking doubt about that, but he was about to get lucky again.  His breath left his body in a shuddering sigh as he pulled the satin down her hips and found nothing but bare, writhing, wet Scully beneath them.  God.  He could smell her and the scent was making him light-headed with need.  He inhaled deeply, letting his eyes close and wondered briefly if he was about to pass out on Scully-fumes.  He opened his eyes and concentrated on slipping the satin pajama bottoms down off the scissoring, sliding legs encased in them.  He slid them off completely and dropped them on the floor, then paused to look at the vision he had just uncovered.

Dana Scully lay spread out before him, naked except for the sleeves of her open pajama top and an ace bandage extending from shoulder to wrist.  He wanted sooooo badly to take away any and all pain he had ever caused her, ending with the pain of her injured arm, and replace it with a tidalwave of pleasure, adoration and worship.

"God.  Scully.  Dana.  What did I do to deserve to be able to do this?"  Alex's voice sounded genuinely puzzled and Scully wanted to slap him out of his self-recrimination and tell him to get back to work.  She didn't have to though as those dark, dangerous hands lowered themselves to her thighs and began stroking them, gently pushing them apart.

She felt those amazingly soft lips press softly against her abdomen as the pressure of his hands increased just slightly, pushing her thighs to either side of his chest, which was now lowering itself into the space created.  Scully felt a thrill go through her at the thought of a completely dressed man servicing her body with mind- blowing skill as she lay naked and passive beneath him.  The slight scratch of the jacket's zipper was a delicious contrast to the slightly cool, soft leather as it slid against her bare thighs.  She moaned and twitched as the zipper raked her once again.

Alex mistook the sound for one of displeasure and raised himself off her, starting to shrug out of the jacket with a mumbled apology.

"No…"  Scully lifted her head up off the cushions and breathed, "Leave it on."  Her entreaty was met by a pleased raise of sable eyebrows and a scorching smile.  "Like the leather?"  Her only reply was a low hum as he watched her eyes close and her head fall back against the cushions once again.  He shrugged the jacket back up onto his shoulders and lowered himself to his task, still smiling.

Scully felt the leather rub against her bare thighs once more, then felt it slide lower as Krycek scooted his body around, pulling on her hips to get them into the right position.

She opened her eyes and looked down her body just in time to see that long pink tongue snake out from between sensuous lips and press between the dripping folds of her sex.  She cried out at the gentle jabbing wet heat and her hips bucked up off the couch.  Gentle, hot hands placed themselves on either hip, holding her firmly in place as that cruelly kind tongue licked her from the bottom of her slit to the top, forcing a deep, throaty cry from her open mouth.

Krycek moaned as he heard for the second time the sound of Dana Scully losing control and becoming a purely sexual animal.  God, the taste of her, the feel of her satiny flesh under his tongue was a new kind of death, a dizzying torture as his cock jerked and ground against the leg which had insinuated itself between his trembling thighs.  He closed his eyes, unable to handle seeing and feeling all that wet, hot Scullyflesh at the same time and not wanting to come in his pants before he'd made her scream.  Eyes closed, using only his senses of touch and smell, he worked his tongue up between her folds, feeling with the tip for that stiff little bit of flesh that he was going to use to drive her out of her mind.  The loud, forced "OH!"  that greeted his ears, as well as the feeling of throbbing, hot flesh against the tip of his tongue, alerted him to the fact that he had indeed reached that wonderful destination.  He groaned as he felt his body shudder and he willed his hands not to dig into pale, already-bruised flesh.

He breathed hotly over the little nub of flesh, licking to the sides and all around but not touching it again, thoroughly enjoying the steady humming moans of the writhing woman he had at his mercy.  He removed one hand from her hip and tickled around her opening with it, sliding it around in gentle circles, then pressing his long middle finger inside of her, eliciting a new set of whimpers and undulations.  He continued teasing all around her clit with lips and tongue, flicking out to taste it now and then as he softly thrust his middle finger in and out of her.  He inserted a second finger to more moans of approval.  Turning his hand palm-up, he began to stroke the upper wall of her vagina with the tip of his middle finger until her thighs began to shake and she let out a continuous stream of "oh oh oh."

He withdrew his tongue and placed a gentle kiss on the slippery lips of Dana Scully's sex.  "Are you ready to come for me Dana?"  His voice was deep and low, a voice he usually used when he was about to kill someone, rather than give them a mind-blowing "little death."

"OH GOD YES!"  His answer was delivered with complete conviction and abandon, its owner's head thrashing side to side on the sofa cushion.  He wanted to hear her beg him, but he thought it would be unduly cruel, given the way he had driven her to a heretofore unknown level of raw need and frustration.  He stroked her G-spot firmly as he lowered his mouth to her sex and ran his tongue around and around her clit firmly.  Licking the underside hard and fast, he sucked with his lips pressed against her.

Scully's hips shot up off the couch as she ground herself into Krycek's face and screamed repeatedly, feeling jolts of pure energy shake her body from hips to shoulders to toes, turning her into a lightning rod of focused orgasmic sensation.  Her body bucked and shuddered, again and again as she nearly lost consciousness from the intensity, hearing a deep throaty scream and dimly realizing she was making it.  She became vaguely aware of the pain of a scratched throat as the aftershocks continued to shake her body, Krycek's lips now pressed against her firmly in a perpetual kiss as he rode out her climax, fingers deep inside her clenching heat.  She gasped and panted as the waves finally became manageable and only then did she finally lift her hand from her side and stroke through the sweaty dark hair tickling her heaving abdomen.

"C'mere," she gasped out, pulling his head up by the hair.

Krycek obeyed, slipping his fingers out of her reluctantly, hearing a gasp elicited by their absence, and raising his mouth from her dripping sex, licking his lips, catching his breath.  He felt those small, trembling fingers continue to pull his hair insistently, bringing him up her body.  He placed his hands on either side of her to make the trip easier and less painful.  Her mouth was open before his lips even met it and he sank onto her with a deep, tortured groan, his lips slippery with her juices as his mouth slid against hers in a deep, sucking, moaning kiss.

She sucked her juices from his tongue and lips, devouring his mouth with all of the intensity she'd been forced to repress during his slow, gentle domination of her body.  When the dizziness had cleared enough for her to think, she broke the kiss, pushing up against his chest with her free hand.

"Now.  Take 'em off."

Krycek smiled at the tone of authority in that hoarse-from-screaming-in-ecstasy voice.  It was a tone he'd heard her use when telling bad guys to keep their hands where she could see them.  He didn't think he'd ever be able to keep himself from getting rock-hard when he heard that tone in her voice again and he certainly wasn't about to disobey it.

He raised up off her and ripped off his jacket, flinging it across the room, tearing off his T-shirt before he even heard it hit the floor.  Trembling, slippery fingers worked at the button fastening his jeans and he growled at the difficulty of getting it open, finally freeing the damn thing and yanking the sides of his jeans open, forcing the zipper, then shoving the jeans down his legs.

That's when he realized he was still wearing his boots.

"FUCK!"  He roared, and dimly registered a throaty giggle coming from the vicinity of the couch.  He didn't even look up as he fell back on his ass and tore at the laces of his boots, finally getting them loose enough to rip them off his feet.  He growled again in satisfaction as he yanked off his socks and then pushed his jeans the rest of the way down and off his legs and stood up.

Dana Scully abruptly stopped giggling as she saw a naked, trembling, painfully erect Alex-fucking-Krycek focus every atom of his need on her.  She felt her mouth open in a small gasp, stunned with the ferocity of the animal gleam in those dark emerald eyes.  For a moment, she felt afraid, then in a second she decided that she could still be in charge, if she wanted to be.

"Fuck me."  The low breathy command was barely out of her mouth before he was on her, once again devouring her tongue with his sex-taste mouth, now groaning and pressing his hard cock against her as he sucked and licked.  She raised her hips just slightly and to the sound of a deep mutual groan he pushed all the way in.

He groaned deeply into her mouth now and she felt herself unable to resist joining him, their moans intermingling at the same time their tongues swirled around each other.  With a deep breath, Scully felt him pull almost all the way out of her then plunge back into her, their pelvises hitting together almost painfully.  She noticed with the last bit of lucidity he had left her with that he was leaning to his right side, keeping his weight off her injured arm.  She wanted to throw her arms around him in a grateful hug at his thoughtfulness, but she was too busy fucking his brains out…or was that having her brains fucked out?  Whatever.  She would have to thank him later.  He was drawing back and thrusting into her now in a pounding, jarring rhythm and she felt herself making another, faster climb to a second peak as she tilted her hips to capture his thrusts at the right angle for her maximum pleasure.

Ah yeah.  That's it…right there.  "Ohhhh," she moaned into his mouth as his prick slid again and again up against her sensitized and still-fluttering upper wall, bring her to a second, almost-painful but delicious orgasm.  In answer to her jerking and shuddering and clenching around him, his thrusts became deeper and more erratic and the groans he fed her mouth sounded almost painful.  Panting through the ebb and flow of her receding climax, she pulled back from the kiss, her lips still touching his.

"Are you ready to come for me Alex?"  She breathed, accentuating the words with thrusts of her own pelvis.  The cry that answered her sounded like a sob.  "Yeeeess!"  Krycek gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt his body tighten in preparation for its badly-needed release.

"Then do it.  Come!"  She gasped out against him, jerking down on his ass with her free hand, raising her pelvis up to meet his erratic thrusting as best she could.

She felt his hips jerk against her painfully again and again and again as the gentle, sensuous killer above her gave himself over to the pleasure wrought by her body.  Through the thrashing, she heard him moaning and crying out unintelligible words, some of them Russian, some of them sounding somewhat like her name, others sounding like the various deities she was familiar with.

Krycek pumped his seed deeply into the small body beneath him in a seemingly unending stream of pure hot pleasure, pain and heat, vaguely wondering if a man could have an aneurysm from coming too hard.  Feeling his cock spasm and throb inside Dana Scully's tight, hot embracing body for the second time in his life, he promised every god he'd ever heard of that he would be good for the rest of his life if he could just stay buried in this body forever.

The shuddering jerks finally subsided and were replaced by a sudden overwhelming exhaustion.  Krycek fell on top of Scully, still just aware enough to let his weight fall on her uninjured side, which had him half falling off the couch.  He felt her scoot against the back, giving him more room.  He placed a sweaty, trembling kiss on her forehead as he arranged himself half-on, half-off her body, stretched out together with her on the narrow piece of furniture.

Neither of them spoke for several minutes, both drifting in the afterglow of their lovemaking and bringing their respiratory rates back into the normal range.  Scully's free hand stroked lazily through silky dark strands as the fingers of one of Krycek's hands rubbed gentle circles into her shoulders, the other curling under her head, pillowing it against his chest.  Just as Scully was starting to wonder if he was falling asleep, Krycek spoke.

"I never dreamed you'd ever let me do that.  Never dreamed you'd want me to."  His voice was low and soft and punctuated by kisses against her hair.

She sighed, snuggling a little closer against his chest.  "I never dreamed I'd let myself have you," she said, wonderingly.

"Let yourself have me?"  Alex's voice was amused and curious.  He liked the sound of it.  Made him sound like a decadent dessert.

"Yeah… I mean, I've been able to admit to myself that I wanted you, in a purely physical sense, several times, but I never thought I'd actually let down my guard enough to ever have you."

Krycek felt a tiny stupid twinge of sadness at the way she clarified that she wanted him purely physically, but he shook it off, mentally smacking himself for not focusing on being eternally grateful for even being given the opportunity to have her body.  Besides, it wasn't as if he loved her or anything, right?  He felt his mind skitter away from that dangerous subject quickly.

"Well, if you remember, your guard wasn't exactly down, Scully.  At least that's not what I call it when you greet your lover with a gun to his head."  He kept his tone teasing and light, hoping that the subject was not one that would bring her any discomfort.

She laughed lightly, nuzzling his neck with her nose.  "You weren't my lover then," she said, kissing his throat and licking away a tiny droplet of perspiration.  "You were still my arch-enemy and an unwelcome intruder."

He sighed at the feeling of her small hot tongue on his throat.  "And I'm your lover now?"  He tried to say it without all the emotion he felt, unwilling to let her see how badly he wanted her to answer in the affirmative.

"Mmmmhmmm," she hummed against his skin.  "The best one I've ever had."  He shivered as she continued to kiss his neck and wrapped his arm tightly around her, pressing his lips against her forehead.  He finally decided that if she could be that honest, so could he.

"I've never experienced anything like this in my life, Dana."

She snuggled against his throat.  "Come on, don't tell me you haven't had better sex.  God, you must get all you can handle and then some!"

He smiled at the way she assumed his sex appeal, but his voice was soft and serious.  "I'm not just talking about the sex, Scully."  He used her last name purposely, wanting her to realize that they were still the same two people, Krycek and Scully, and that he was still about to bare his soul to her.  "I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you."  It was true.  The kind of confusing protectiveness, respect, longing and connection he felt for Scully was only matched by those same emotions for her partner, although he'd never really allowed himself to explore any possible sexual attraction for Fox Mulder before.  But then, until he had seen that passion in her soul as she struggled in his arms, he'd never really allowed himself to be physically attracted to Dana Scully, either.

Scully's voice was equally serious as she raised her head just slightly in order to see his expression better.  "What do you mean?  How do you feel?"

He sighed heavily, realizing he'd passed the point of no return and now he'd have to struggle to give voice to feelings he himself hadn't acknowledged until now.  "Scully… Dana… I think as much as a person like me can recognize the sensation," he broke off, scared to say the words.  Ah what the hell.  He breathed in deeply and took the plunge.  "I love you."

Her shocked intake of breath wasn't lost on him and he steeled himself for the inevitable rejection.

"Love… God, Alex."  Scully moved back from his body as much as she could, given the confines of their situation, and Krycek shifted away from her, preparing to get up.  "Wait, Alex… I don't want you to go, that's just a lot to take in."

"It's okay, Dana.  You don't have to say anything.  Don't say anything at all."  Krycek slipped his arm out from beneath her head and shifted his weight off her, feeling the flesh of their bodies unseal and the cool air hit.  He pulled himself up off the couch, ignoring her half-hearted attempts to pull him back down.  He retrieved his jeans from the floor and pulled them on, then reached over and turned on the lamp to help him in his search for his shirt.  The both squinted and blinked at the sudden light flooding the room, throwing everything into stark relief.

"Alex…Krycek…please.  I don't want you to think I'm not listening to what you're telling me…and I don't want you to misinterpret my reaction.  I'm not saying anything because I'm just not sure how I feel.  But I know I feel really good about what you've said to me."  He looked up at her at that, and the small smile that met him engendered one in response.

"Scully, I think I need to tell you something else."  He sighed heavily and sank into the plump side chair, the quest for his T-shirt forgotten.

Scully raised herself up on the couch, reaching down to arrange the quilt casually over her lower body, more aware of her nakedness in the lighted room.  "What is it?"

"What I feel… isn't just for you, Scully.  I don't really understand it myself, but you and Mulder… you're like the star around which my planet revolves."  He stared at the floor, embarrassed at his poetic statement, but feeling like it was as much truth as he knew how to tell.

"I've always wished, in some way, that I could be like you," he continued.  Then he shook his head, frowning.  "No, that's not exactly right.  I wish we could be more like each other.  You two are so innocent.  Dangerously innocent.  Sometimes you're like toddlers trying to cross a busy street.  It makes me want to scream how much danger you put yourselves in, totally unaware of it all!  And you hang onto your naive idealism even when it doesn't serve you anymore.  Idealism that not only puts you at risk, but actually does nothing to improve the chances for the rest of us making it, either."

His voice had risen in his slight diatribe, but now it resumed its former gentle tones.

"I'd like to have some of that idealism back, though.  I'd like to feel the regret and remorse over taking a life that I used to.  I'd like to share in that wide-eyed reverence for all life that I see shining out from behind your eyes and Mulder's, but I can't.  I know too much.  I've crossed way too many busy intersections."  He stopped, raising his head to gauge her reaction.

Scully's eyebrows were creased in a frown, but it was one of concentrated listening and consideration, not disapproval or anger.  "I know that you know things we don't, Alex.  And by the way, I know you're still Krycek but after making amazing love to you on my couch it feels weird to call you by your last name, so you're Alex, okay?"

"Okay."  His voice was pleasedly resigned.

"Good.  Anyway, Alex, Mulder and I obviously only know bits and pieces of the truth you've been privy to for a long time, but I can't believe that your ruthless disregard for human life is the answer to the problems our world is facing, no matter how cataclysmic.  I'm sorry."  Her voice was apologetic but firm.

Krycek was grateful for her predictable straightforwardness.  He would always know where he stood with her.  That was more precious to him than hearing unending declarations of love.  "No, don't be," he said.  "I don't want you to lose that, Scully.  Sorry…Dana."  She smiled at his slip and he smiled back sadly.  "But I also think that holding on to those old ethics with too tight a grasp isn't going to serve us in the fight ahead."  He sighed, with what sounded like the weight of the world pushing out his breath.  "God what I'd give for a happy medium."

He was surprised to see the tousled redhead nodding sadly.  He raised his eyebrows in an unvoiced question.

"Yeah… I think you're right.  Does that surprise you so much?  I'm not stupid, Alex.  I know that what we're talking about here is war, and in times of war, sentiment and compassion don't always have a place."  She sighed.  "That doesn't mean I have to let it all go without a fight."

"No.  No it doesn't" Krycek's voice was soft, and he rose up from the chair and crossed to kneel before her again.  Yes, if he was able to ever feel it, he was sure he was in love with Dana Scully.

"There's one more thing I should probably tell you."

Her brows creased in another frown, but she said nothing.

"Mulder found me."

Scully's eyes closed in realization and she let out her breath.

"He was there to kill me, Dana.  He almost did it, too."

Her eyes squeezed tightly and he took her face in his hands and brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones softly.  "It's okay, Dana.  He thought I'd hurt you.  He thought…"  He took a deep breath, not wanting to even say the words out loud.  "He thought I'd raped you.  God, if I thought someone had done that to you I'd kill them with my bare hands too.  Only I wouldn't have shown the mercy Mulder finally did.  Another reason why I'm glad you two aren't too much like me."  He smiled and lifted her chin with his fingers.  She opened her eyes and met his grin with a small smile of her own, lifting her fingertips to brush over the bruises and cuts that were evidence of Mulder's murderous intentions.

He turned his head to kiss her fingers and his voice became low and soft.  "He loves you so much, Dana.  More than anything in his life.  More than life itself.  I think you know that though, don't you?"  She tried to look away, but he held her face there.  "Go on, Dana.  Admit it.  Admit you know he wants you more than anything else on this planet."

"No."  She surprised him by shaking her head.  "Alex, you're right about one thing.  Mulder loves me.  I know he does.  And I know he'd give his life for me in a heartbeat, and I think he knows I feel the same about him."  Alex frowned, confused by her contradictory words.  She continued.  "But he doesn't want me, Alex.  Not like you do."  She smiled, letting all of the bewildering array of emotions she had for this man radiate out at him for the first time.

Krycek gasped at the force of that smile and leaned forward to kiss those irresistible lips.  He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Oh God, Dana.  That's where you're wrong.  So wrong."  He stroked the back of her neck with his hand.  "He wants you just as much as I do.  Hell, maybe more, but I don't know how that's possible.  I know he hasn't let you see it, but that's because he doesn't think you want him back and he can't bear the thought that all that need and desire is one-sided.  God if you knew how much he wanted you, it would scare the shit out of you, Dana."

It was Scully's turn to gasp.  "H… how do you know?"  Her voice squeaked out, uncharacteristically small and insecure.

Krycek laughed gently.  "You wouldn't ask that if you'd seen him… crying because I'd been the one to make love to you instead of him.  Yeah, Dana.  I finally convinced him that it was mutual, what happened that night.  I know.  I'm sorry.  I know it wasn't my place to tell him, but it was the only way I could save my life, Dana.  He wouldn't have let me live if I'd done what he thought I'd done.  But when he finally understood that you had participated too, it broke him, Dana.  I've never seen anything like it."

He pulled back when he heard the small sob and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Oh God!  Mulder!  How could I have known?  Alex… doesn't he know?  I love him so much, Alex.  I love him so much."  Jesus Christ.  Where did that confession come from?  Never underestimate the power of post-coital euphoria.

"I know you do, Dana.  And he knows too.  What he doesn't know is how much you want him.  And, just like you, he assumes that because you've never indicated otherwise, that the love you feel for him doesn't go beyond the deepest friendship."  He grinned, trying to lighten the mood.  "In other words, he doesn't know what a hot little sex kitten he has on his hands."  He watched her return his smile and she wiped at her eyes with her fingertips.  He stood.  "I have to go."

She looked up at him in surprise and dismay.

"I gave Mulder a lot to think about, Scully.  Just like I did you.  Guess it's just time for the truth to come out," he said, gathering up his shirt and pulling it over his head.  He sat down on the chair again and pulled on his socks, then laced up his boots with much more patience and care than he had used to unlace them.  Finally he slipped on his jacket and ran a hand through his hair before turning to face her.  She still hadn't said a word.

"I told Mulder I'd be in touch.  I will, Scully."  He used her last name to give them both a little distance and to once again remind her just who was leaving the bootmarks on her wood floor.  "You guys need to talk.  Don't try to find me.  I need to get lost for awhile.  But I'll be back, and I hope that when I do, you both will have thought long and hard about everything and made a decision… one way or the other."  He turned around to leave.

"Alex," Scully called softly.  He turned to face her.  "Please… be safe."

"I will."  And he was gone, closing the door behind him softly and leaving her alone in the dark and empty apartment once again.

End chapter five.

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