Title:  "Pushed"

Author:  Lioness (aka, RatGurl or The WRA Bee)

Rating:  PG

Disclaimer:  I do not own the Kleenex Company.  I am 
making no money whatsoever with putting in a slight 
promotion.  And of course, The X-Files, or anything 
portraying to it (i.e., Mulder, Scully, Krycek, Spender 
etc...) do not belong to me, but to Chris Carter, 1013 
Productions, and the FOX Network (and if he had his way, 
David Duchovny!). 

Spoilers:  'Pusher', 'Kitsunagari'.  Also, if you haven't 
seen "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", don't read this... 
spoilers there, too.  Thanky-Pooh!  :)

Feedback:  Boxengirl@hotmail.com

*Please read the first two fanfics in this series before 
you read this one.  One Armed Hearts One Armed Hearts: The 
Finishers


-----------------------------------------------------------

WASHINGTON DC, 3:23 AM

Alex Krycek woke up with a start.  He had another dream.

He shook his head and got up.  He walked to his kitchen and 
checked the time.  He swore at the clock and at his dream.  
"Three AM," he mumbled as he got a glass from a cabinet.  
He pulled a bottle of water from his almost empty 
refrigerator.  He poured the last of the bottle into the 
glass and downed it in one gulp.

He hit the dial button on the phone.  Only having one arm, 
he made sure to get phones with luxuries as speakerphone.  
He dialed a number and only got the answering machine.  He 
knew there would be no answer.  He was the only one who 
knew the number and the address, and he couldn't bear to 
walk into that small studio apartment.

He spoke softly into the machine, leaving a short message, 
but only knowing that in a few days he would have to go and 
check these messages and the only ones on there would be 
from himself.  He hit the button to hang up.  He felt tears 
flooding his eyes.

He sat down his couch and wept for quite awhile.

He looked up.  He felt like someone was watching him.  He 
kind of laughed at himself.  He had no need to be paranoid 
now that the Smoking Man was dead.

He walked back into the kitchen and wiped his face off with 
a wet rag.  He felt, almost better.  He had been depressed 
since he heard that his best friend, and partner, Jaclyn 
had died, in order to save him, and their friends.  Even at 
that point, he didn't know whether to refer to them as his 
friends.  Now he knew.  These people were his friends.

He opened his medicine cabinet.  He had a splitting 
headache.  He pulled out the aspirin and grabbed a new 
bottle of water from the refrigerator and poured it into 
the glass he had used before.  He swallowed the two white 
pills, and even with the water, caught enough of the bitter 
taste of them to spit into the sink and pour himself some 
more water and guzzle it in two long drinks.

He tried to sleep, but the headache kept him awake until it 
was seven AM, and he had to get up.  He thought about 
calling Scully and telling her that he didn't really feel 
up to working today.

He went to pick up the phone that sat next to his bed when 
it rang.  He jumped.  He took a quick deep breath and 
picked up the phone

"Hello?"  he said in his soft voice, which brought on 
either great fear, or great trust.

"Krycek?"

He recognized the voice immediately.  It was Mulder, a 
fellow employee, but not his favorite person.  A friend, 
but not his first choice.  "What is it, Mulder?"

"You have to come in early, you need-"

"You are already at the office?"

"Yeah..."

"Mulder, you need to get out more often, I swear."

"Listen just get in here, you need some background on this 
case."

Krycek groaned to himself.  He didn't want to go in, 
especially on something that needed thought.  He didn't 
really care for the job of and FBI agent.  It wasn't what 
he liked doing, but he had the proper training, and he 
_really_ didn't need two arms, so it was suitable.

"Sure, Mulder.  Be in as soon as I wake up and get a 
shower."  He emphasized the wake up part.

"Fine, Krycek.  I'll see you there."  Mulder hung up the 
phone without as much as a goodbye.

Krycek hung up the phone and rolled over in his bed.  He 
clutched his pillow with his arm.  He hugged it tightly, 
and prayed silently, as almost if he really didn't want to 
be heard.  When he ended his prayer he noticed a few drops 
of blood on his pillow.  "What the...?"  he said to no one, 
he touched his face, and noticed the blood was coming from 
his nose.  He grabbed a Kleenex from his nightstand and 
cleaned himself up.

He then, got up and went to take his shower.

J.  EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING, 9:41 AM

Agent Jeffrey Spender walked into the building.  He was 
destined to be an FBI agent.  It was his sole desire.  He 
wanted nothing else.

He went to the elevator, with a sigh.  He loved his work, 
but often felt under appreciated for he worked with the 
infamous Fox "Spooky" Mulder.  He hit the 'basement' button 
on the elevator panel.

He wasn't partners with Mulder, as Scully was, but he was 
assigned to all the same cases.  It was an odd setup, but 
for some reason it worked.  His partner was Agent Krycek.  
He was basically afraid of Krycek.  Spender had helped him 
in weakest hour, but he often felt as if Krycek blamed him 
for the death of Jaclyn.

Spender shook his head as the elevator doors opened.  He 
walked down the hall, past the open door of Mulder's 
office, to his own office, which was only one door down.  
He was curious why this office was never given to Scully, 
but it wasn't.  He closed the door behind him and sat down 
him his chair.  He knew that Mulder would be in soon.  He 
had said something about background on a case.  Spender 
perked up at the sound of work.  He was a workaholic, 
almost worse than Mulder.

A few seconds later there was a knock on the door, "Come 
in", Spender said, rather cheerfully.  The door opened and 
Mulder walked in.  He didn't look very happy, but a 
conversation with anyone outside of Scully could do that to 
him.

Just then a knock came from the open door.  Mulder turned 
around and Spender looked up from his desk.  Scully stood 
there, wide eyed.

"I didn't see anyone in the other office...where is Krycek?"

"Here."  He said walking in, rubbing the side of his head.

Scully looked over at him.  "What happened to you?  You 
look like hell."

"I had almost no sleep.  I woke up at three-thirty with a 
dream and then I got this terrible headache.  And that kept 
me up.  Then, after Mulder called, I got a nosebleed.  
Thanks for asking."

"A nosebleed?"  Scully asked, concerned.

"What kind of dream?"  Mulder asked at the same time.

 Krycek shook his head.  "What kind of background will we 
need?"

Mulder took charge, in a way only he does.  "This is almost 
a part three.  In 1996, we apprehended a man by the name of 
Robert Patrick Modell.  Then, again, in 1998, we found out 
that he had a sister, by the name of Linda Bowmen.  Both of 
them were what we called 'Pushers'."

"Pushers."  Spender said, as almost to just be sure.  "What 
exactly, does that mean?"

"They could push someone over the edge, even to killing 
themselves, just by the sound of their voice."  Scully 
explained.  "To them, pushing is a game.  You never knew 
what they were going to do, and how.  They could make you 
think that something was there, and it really wasn't.  They 
both had massive brain tumors, which we believe is the 
source of the pushing 'power'."

Spender nodded, as if he understood.  Krycek, who was 
sitting in a chair, looked up at them, and caught himself 
from saying "what?".  The pain in his head was almost too 
much to bear.  It was worse than a normal headache.  It was 
like something pulling at his brain.  Scully looked at him 
carefully.  "You alright, Krycek?"

He smiled at her.  "I'm fine."

She shook her head.  "Okay."  She said.  She wrote a mental 
note to keep and eye on him, knowing he wouldn't mind if 
she did.

 Krycek tried to give her a reassuring smile, but he 
couldn't.  He wasn't really thinking clearly, and that 
wasn't good.  Especially for Spender, Scully, and Mulder, 
the people who counted on him, and each other to be there, 
when they needed him.  Their lives counted on it, and he 
wasn't going to let anyone else die for him.  Once was more 
than enough.

 He shook it off, and the pain went away, but he knew this 
already.  It would go in and out, a lot.  Mulder turned 
from Krycek and went on about the case.  "We believe that 
there is now another pusher.  There have been over ten 
suicides of a similar nature, in a fifty-mile radius.  All 
of them, perfectly, sane, respected people, who should have 
no idea what suicide is let alone, go through with it.  We 
have no idea, but Skinner wants us on the case.  Just in 
case it is one."

Krycek smiled to himself.  He had some idea of the pushers.  
He had read Scully's report on the first one, and knew a 
lot of Robert Patrick Modell.  He considered mentioning 
this to Mulder and Scully, but it didn't seem important 
enough.  But he decided to.  "I have read the report on 
Robert Patrick Modell, that Scully wrote in 1996."

Mulder turned around.  "How'd you get your hands on that?"

He shrugged.  "It was sent to me.  I suppose someone knew 
that it would be vital in the future...where do we have to go 
to get to the pusher?"

WHITEMOUNT, WASHINGTON STATE 10:06 PM

Scully, Mulder, Krycek, and Spender got out of the _way_ 
too small car.  Yes, they were friends, but it was an 
interesting relationship between the four of them.  For 
Mulder it was almost like he didn't trust them, and would 
only tell things to Scully.  For Spender it was just more 
people to tell his ideas on whatever they were up to.  He 
really didn't care who it was too, as long as they had ID 
that said FBI on it.  Naïve little man.

 Krycek was out of it the entire trip.  He knew he could 
trust these people.  He knew more than all of them put 
together.  He was the informed one.  He hadn't told them 
what he knew though.  He really didn't know _how_ to.

Scully went along with things until they needed her 
assistance.  She was working with three very capable of 
doing their jobs agents.

Right now she didn't know what to think of Krycek, though.  
It seemed that he had reformed from his wrong doings, but 
she wasn't sure.  She knew that he was their friend, 
capable of trust, but still she knew that he was very 
capable of killing them all, dumping them in the river, and 
blaming Canada.  She shook her head.  Her imagination was 
getting the better of her.

"Scully?"  Mulder asked her.  She removed herself from her 
thoughts.  "Hm?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were still here."

She gave him a reassuring smile.  "I'm fine."

He nodded and opened the door to his room.  Mulder walked 
in thanking the God that he didn't believe in, that the 
government didn't make all the male agents room together.  
"Thank you, taxpayers."

Krycek walked into his room and pulled out the aspirin from 
his bag.  He went over to the sink and grabbed a plastic 
coated cup with the motel's name printed on it.  He turned 
on the tap and set the cup under it.  He suddenly felt 
dizzy and he fell to his knees.  He was hyperventilating.  
He took a few deep steady breaths before standing back up.  
He quickly took the pills and lay down on his bed.

A few minutes later, while he was not sleeping the phone 
rang.  He moaned slightly and picked it up.  "Krycek."

"It's Scully.  How are you feeling?"

He thought for a second.  He wasn't going to tell her about 
the dizzy spell he had or the nosebleed he had at the 
airport in DC.  "I'm doing fine."

She didn't really believe him, but let it go.  " We're 
leaving tomorrow around nine.  Does that sound good?"

He nodded.  "Oh, yeah.  Sounds good.  Meeting at the car or 
something?"

"Yeah, the car.  Are you doing okay?  Besides your health.  
How are...things?"

He smiled.  He was glad someone cared.  It was a nice 
change.  Before, until Jaclyn came along, no one really 
cared about him, or what happened to him.  He could of died 
and no one would have attended his funeral, because no one 
would have cared enough.

"I'm doing better."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you..." He said while hanging up the phone.

Scully hung up her phone and sighed.  She knew that Krycek 
wasn't telling the truth.  She smiled to herself.  "That 
lying little rat..." but she also knew he would lie to her, 
unless it was to protect himself, or even her, from 
something.  She just couldn't figure out what it was.4:12 
AM

I was walking down a small hallway.  I knew at the end of 
the hall was a door.  The door of life and death.  I didn't 
know if when I walked through it, if I would be in the life 
or death.  I finally got to the door.  I took a deep 
breath, opened it, and walked in.  Standing there, dressed 
in a white robe, was Jaclyn.  "Alex, take the life cup.  
You need it, unlike, me."

Krycek woke up with a start.  Every time he had the dream 
it got clearer and more realistic.  He had just gotten to 
sleep not to long before that.  The last time he saw the 
clock it said 3:47 AM.

He almost loved the dream.  It was a window for him to see 
Jaclyn.  Even if he knew that it wasn't real.  But it 
bothered him.

Was he going to die?  He almost died before.  Was this a 
sign that the real thing was going to happen?

He reached over and flipped on the lamp that sat next to 
his bed.  He looked around the dimly lit room.  He saw 
blood on his pillow.  It was a lot of blood.  He could feel 
something trickling down his chin.  He reached up and wiped 
it.  He looked at his hand.  It was blood.

He walked over and cleaned himself up at the sink.  He 
decided to tell Scully what was going on.  He looked over 
at the clock.

"Twenty after four..."

He thought for a second, and then looked at the blood on 
his pillow and picked up the phone.

4:29 AM

Scully walked to Krycek's motel room.  She was a little 
wary of walking in.  She had no idea what he wanted.  She 
knew that he had feelings for her, which was the only thing 
that really bothered her.  She was strong, and had both 
arms, but he was still stronger.

She let all of those thoughts clear from her mind.  She was 
certain that Mulder heard their entire conversation, 
considering the walls were paper-thin.  She had nothing to 
worry about.

She knocked on the door.  A few seconds later the door 
opened, "Come in."  He said giving a little head motion 
with that.

She walked in.  "What's going on?"  she asked, with a tiny 
bit of fear in her voice.  She would never let him know 
that she was still a little afraid of him, and what he 
could to her, to them all.

He sat down on the bed.  "Um, yesterday, at the office, 
when I told you I had a nosebleed..."

"Yeah?"  She prompted gently.

"It hasn't been the last one.  I got one at the airport in 
DC, and just now."  He reached over and grabbed the pillow 
and showed it to her.  "Oh my god, Krycek.  This, this, is 
a lot of blood."

"I know, that's why I thought I should tell someone, and 
you're a doctor and all..."

She sat down next to him, with no fear.  "Come on, in the 
morning, I'll take you to the hospital.  Mulder, and 
Spender can go and work on the case."  "Is that alright?"  
She smiled.  "It will be."

THE NEXT MORNING

Mulder and Spender went into the police department.  The 
local Police had caught the suspect, and no one died in the 
process, to Mulder's surprise.  Mulder went in to question 
the suspect, Gerald Manning.

"Hi."  Manning said as Mulder walked in.

"Don't talk to me.  I want you to only answer my questions, 
and nothing more.  Is that clear?"

"Crystal."

 "Did you know that twelve people are dead, and you are the 
prime suspect?"

"Ever seen someone right after they get shot?  It's a 
terrible sight to see.  Especially when it's your partner."

"Shut up."  Mulder said, trying hard to not concentrate on 
what he was saying.

"It hurts you.  Right here."  He touched his chest, right 
over his heart.  "To see them, lying there, all dead, and 
there is nothing you can do to save them.  And it's not 
just anyone  it's your partner.  A co-worker.  A friend.  
Shot in the chest.  It's all over for them.  And the man, 
who shot him, is standing right in front of you, with the 
gun in his hand.  I am that man.  "

Mulder tried not to listen to him, but it was too late.  He 
was sucked into the push.  He looked over at Spender, who 
was sitting in a chair in the corner.  In Mulder's eyes he 
had a large gunshot wound in his chest.  He was almost 
falling out of the chair.  Blood was everywhere.  He looked 
back at Manning.  He had a gun in his hand.

Mulder pulled out his gun.  He pointed it at Manning.  "I'm 
going to kill you."

Spender jumped up from his chair.  "Mulder, don't!"

"What?"  He turned around to see Spender pulling his gun 
out of his hand.  When he realized what had happened, he 
reached over and pushed the button so he could contact the 
people out in hall watching what was going on.  "Get him 
out of here.  This is your man.  Send him to the hospital.  
Check him for a brain tumor.  He'll have one."

Spender walked up to Mulder.  "What was that?"

"You just witnessed your first push."

11:27 AM

Scully pulled into the hospital parking lot.  She hadn't 
said a word the entire trip.  Neither had Krycek.  He 
opened his door, and got out.

Scully laughed as he walked over and opened the door for 
her.  It was so strange to her.  To be treated like a real 
woman.  She had been the man for so long.

They walked in together.  After some paperwork, and such, 
Krycek went in for his examination.

"I hate hospitals," he said before he walked in to the 
examining room.

 She smiled.  "Have no fear, I'll take care of you."  After 
a second she realized that wasn't how she wanted to put 
that.

He gave her a smile and touched her arm for a few seconds.  
"I know you will."  He took his hand off her arm and walked 
into the room, closing the door behind him.

Scully went over and sat down in the waiting section.  
After a few minutes a commotion came from the front of the 
hospital.  There were police everywhere.  They had a man in 
handcuffs, and he just had a big grin on his face.

Scully went over to one of the cops.  She pulled out he ID.  
"What's going on?"

The officer turned to her.  "This guy was just picked up 
and is going to be tried for killing ten or so people."

"This man's name wouldn't happen to be, Gerald Manning, 
would it?"

The officer gave her a surprised look.  "Yeah, it is...how'd 
you know that?"

 "I'm one of the agents in charge of his case."

"You that tall guy, and the little guy?"  "Right.  Um, are 
they here?"

The officer shook his head.  "Nah, they went back to 
wherever they came from.  What are you doing here, if 
you're in charge of the case?  If you don't mind my 
asking."

"I mind.  They're checking him for a cerebral tumor, 
right?"

"Yeah..." the officer walked off.

Scully stood there for a few minutes soaking this in.  
Mulder and Spender must have somehow found out this _was_ 
the man they wanted.  This was good, she thought...until she 
realized that one of them must have been pushed.  There is 
no other way to know if these people are pushers.

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed 
Mulder.  After a couple of rings, "Mulder."

"Mulder, Gerald Manning was just admitted to the hospital.  
For the tumor right?"

"I forgot you were there Scully."

"Mulder, did he push you?"  she asked, directly.

There was a long pause on the other line.  "Yeah.  I fell 
right in it."

They spoke for a few more minutes until the door the 
examining where Krycek was, opened.  She closed up her 
phone and walked over to him.  "Well?"

He looked over at her.  He took a deep breath.  "They don't 
what it is."

"You have something new?"

 He looked away from her.  "No, it's not new.  They just 
don't know if it's benign or cancerous.  They have more 
tests to run."

It took her a second to update her brain this.  "Oh, 
Krycek, I'm sorry."  She took his hand in hers.  "Come on, 
let's go."

LATER THAT DAY 10:33 PM

Mulder paced around his motel room.  "How could he get 
away?  He had top security!"

"You knew the risks, Mulder.  You knew it could happen," 
Scully said from her chair.

He spun around.  "That's exactly it!  We knew the risks, 
and we gave him high security, so he _wouldn't_ get away.  
Yet they just let him walk out the door."

"You should have realized that it could happen.  You didn't 
shoot Manning in the head."  Scully said logically, as 
usual.

Mulder sat down on his bed.  "I know...how did things go at 
the hospital with Krycek?"

Scully looked down at her hands.  "He has a tumor, but they 
don't really know what it is."

"Well, that could be could be good news.  I mean if we 
don't know what it is, we don't know if it could hurt 
him...where is it?"

"Cerebral."

"Well, isn't it ironic."

"Hm?"

"I mean, the pushers?  They all have the tumors in the same 
place..." Mulder got quiet for a second, like he was 
collaborating an idea.  "You don't think...?"

"Mulder, _no_."

"It's ever possible."

"No.  Not in this fa-...lifetime."

"Ha!  You almost said Family!"  Mulder said with a big grin 
on his face.  "Can I be the baby?"

Scully rolled her eyes, but with an annoyed smile on her 
face.

2:03 AM

I walked down the hallway again.  I followed the same path 
I did the night before.  I opened the door.  I had no fear 
now that I knew who was behind it, but I feared the cup of 
life.  I had no idea why.  I had a fear that was reserved 
when you know you will die.  I knew the fear.  I held it 
with me everyday.  I knew that I would die, but I never 
knew which day it was.  Tomorrow?  Maybe.  I never knew.  
The risk seemed less possible now that I knew I had people 
behind me.  I always had Jaclyn, but now it was more than 
one person for me.  I always had them against me.  All of 
them.  It was magic to have one, and now I had three.  It 
would be perfect if it was four.  Then my life would be 
complete, and I could die happy.  Even if it was tomorrow.  
I could die and not just be another obituary.

I would be someone who was missed  someone who was loved.

When I went into the door, I was expecting to see my best 
friend.  Life.  Instead I saw another one.  Someone else 
who died that day.

But this person deserved to die.

"Mr.  Krycek.  How dear of you to come.  Come and drink 
with me."  He stood there, with a nasty cigarette in his 
hand.  I tried to wake up.  I knew that this was only a 
dream.  I couldn't.  He held me under.

"They have cigarettes in Hell?"  I snarled.  It was the 
only line I could come up with.  It seemed to be the wrong 
one, but I knew that death was with this man, and I wasn't 
going to become a subject of that.  A snappy comeback 
wasn't what I wanted to say.

He stepped up to him.  His eyes aligned with mine.  "Mr.  
Krycek.  Come with me.  Drink the cup.  You can live here.  
In this world, where you belong.  You know this is what you 
deserve.  You have killed many.  You killed the woman you 
love's sister.  Do you think she could love you after 
that?"

"I didn't kill her."  I tried to wake again.  I could feel 
his hand holding me down.  I tried to call for help.  Every 
once of pride drained from me.  I wanted to wake up.  I 
wanted this to be over.  I wanted it all to go away.  I 
felt tears streaming down my face.

"You can do nothing now.  It is over, Mr.  Krycek.  You can 
let it all go.  It's over."

Krycek sat up.  He felt arms around him.  He pulled away 
from whoever was holding him.

"It's okay."  It was Scully.

He took a deep breath.  "Wha- what are you doing here?"

"I could hear you moaning from my room.  You must have been 
dreaming about something, and no matter what I did you 
wouldn't wake up...would you like to talk about it?"

"If I did, you'd think I was insane."  "No I won't...I 
promise."

"Scully, the man haunts my dreams.  Everywhere I turn, 
there he is.  I can't get away."

"Who?  Who are you talking about?"  She asked, though she 
was sure she knew whom he was speaking of.

"The Cancerman."

She nodded.  "I know what you mean.  I dream of him too."  
She had once, and that was even before he had died.  She 
didn't tell Krycek this.  She was here to make him feel 
better, not like he should be in the looney bin.

He gave her half a smile.  "This is the fifth or sixth time 
I've had dreams like this.  The first few dreams were just 
me walking down a long hallway.  As I continued to have the 
dreams they progressed.  I would always wake up at a 
certain point.  I couldn't control that.  Last night I 
dreamed of her...Jaclyn.  I thought when I dreamed this one, 
it would be the same.  But it wasn't.  It was the exact 
opposite.  It was him.  He told me things."

"What kind of things?"

Krycek looked down and shook his head.  "I- I can't tell 
you."

She reached out and took his chin in her right hand and 
held up until they came into eye contact.  "It's okay.  If 
you don't want to I understand, but if you don't, I can't 
help."

He felt his eyes welling up with tears.  He pulled himself 
from Scully's hand.  "I know you can't, and I'd love to 
tell you, but it concerns you...you and me."

 Scully looked interested.  She wanted to know, really, 
what was going on inside his brain.  She refrained herself 
from saying that she wanted to know what it was.  "It's 
okay to tell me.  It won't change anything."

He looked straight into her eyes.  "Yes it will."

She nodded and sat next to him, rather than across from 
him.  She slipped her arm around his waist and sat there 
with him until his travel alarm went off at seven-thirty.

9:27 AM

Mulder drove the car about ten miles over the speed limit.  
"Manning was spotted in a park around twenty miles outside 
of Whitemount.  We'll go there and split up.

"There is a huge building there called the cement jungle.  
Well, it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, but the 
tourists like it.  He may be there."

Scully who sat next to Mulder said, "Krycek and I will 
check out the cement jungle.  You and Spender go over the 
rest of the park.  We'll meet you somewhere in the park."

Mulder didn't really like this setup, but he went with it.  
He still really didn't trust Krycek, and he didn't like the 
idea of him and Scully working together.  Then he felt 
silly.  He was acting like her older brother.  "God 
forbid."  He said under his breath as he thought this.  
Scully was a big girl.  She could take care of herself and 
the backstabbing, liar of an FBI agent.  Mulder tried to 
stop thinking of Krycek as such things, but when one man 
has hurt you so many times, it's tough.  He pulled into the 
park.  "Okay...spread out."

Scully picked up a tourist map left on a wooden picnic 
table.  Krycek came up behind her and looked over her 
shoulder.  She pointed to their right.  "It's over there."  
she stuck the map in her pocket and started walking toward 
it.  Krycek followed her  he was willing to go anywhere she 
was.

The building was clear glass, but like a green house, the 
windows were fogged up from the humidity.  A large wooden 
sign said "Cement Jungle" in large oldish looking letters.

A bored looking teenager sat in a matching glass gazebo.  
When Scully went to open the door he stopped her.  "Hey, 
lady, even the sexiest of women have to pay.  Three bucks."

Krycek handed the guy six dollars.  "My treat," he said to 
Scully, with a slight smile.

She smiled at him and opened the door and walked in.  The 
first thing she noticed was the humidity.  She felt beads 
of sweat form on her brow even in the first few seconds of 
being in the building.

Krycek walked in behind her.  "Hot..." he said quietly as he 
walked down the fake dirt path.

Scully stopped and waited for him.  "This better be good 
for three dollars."

"Ooh.  Look at the pretty parrot."  He said pointing at a 
cement bird that sat on a fake tree branch.  He had a big 
smile on his face.

She laughed.  "If Mulder knew we were making fun of this 
place instead of looking for accused murderers, we'd be 
murdered."

Krycek gave a quiet laugh and looked at the ground.  He saw 
a huge cement snake.  Just ahead of Scully.  He walked up 
behind her.

"Look at that snake."  She looked over at it with a smile.

"Looks like It'll come out and bite ya, doesn't it?"  He 
said softly in her ear.

Suddenly she gasped and backed up quickly into Krycek.  He 
instinctively wrapped his right arm around her waist and 
pulled her back, but he didn't know from what.  He rested 
his hand on her stomach.  That distracted her for a second 
and looked up at him, turning around a bit to do so.

"What was that?"  he asked her with concern in his eyes.

She shook her head and looked back at the snake.  "You said 
that, about the snake biting me, and it lunged out and 
snapped at me.  It was so real.  When I backed into you, 
and you...touched me, it stopped.  It went back to being 
cement."

He stepped away from her, not touching her anymore.  "What 
does this mean?"

She looked up at him.  "I think I know, but I don't want 
that."

"What?"

"If it's what I'm thinking, and maybe it's just what Mulder 
put in my head, but if it is what I'm thinking...you're a 
pusher, and that tumor?  It's alive and slowly killing 
you."

1:28 PM

Scully sat impatiently in the waiting room of the 
Whitemount Memorial Hospital.  They were running more tests 
on Krycek, to see if her accusations were correct.

Mulder and Spender walked into the waiting room.  Mulder 
sat down next to Scully.  "What happened?  You left without 
saying goodbye."

"Mulder, you were right.  Well, maybe right.  I think 
Krycek could be another pusher."

Spender spoke up confused.  "What?  Krycek is the guy doing 
the killings?"

Scully slowly told them what happened at the cement jungle.  
"I mean, he pushed me, but I don't think he knew what he 
was doing."

"The hell he didn't, Scully!"  Mulder said loudly, in 
almost a shout.  "You know he's a murderer.  What makes you 
think that he wouldn't push you, if he had the chance?"

"Mulder, you don't understand.  You weren't there.  You 
didn't see the confusion on his face.  He was _sad_ that he 
scared me.  The entire ride here, he apologized for 
something he doesn't even know how to handle.  Plus, if he 
wanted to kill me, why didn't he just do it?  Make me pull 
out my gun and kill myself?  You weren't there.  You don't 
know how it happened."  "I don't know.  But if he is a 
pusher...he's dying."

"You don't know that.  Robert Modell had that tumor since 
he was young.  Krycek has had it maybe a month.  He 
probably still has lots of time."

Mulder gave her a suspicious look.  "Scully, what are you 
feeling for this man?"

 "Nothing more than what I feel for you."  She lied.

He accepted this answer, and went on interrogating her.

After a few hours Krycek emerged from the examining room.  
He sat down next to Scully.  She looked over at him.  "So?"

He looked straight ahead.  "It's there.  Just like you 
said...Killing me."

5:25 AM

I started down the hallway again.  I didn't want to 
continue.  After my last visit to the room, I didn't really 
feel like going back, but the chance that Jaclyn was in 
there kept me going.  I was afraid.  I felt no fear of 
death.  I knew that was something that I could live with.  
I knew my end was near.  I could push someone to their 
death.  God, why couldn't I push myself?  I felt like 
dying.  It was going to happen, and it was going to happen 
soon.  I thought this as I walked down the hall again.  I 
felt like finding myself a nice cliff.  Maybe over a pretty 
ravine full of flowers.  Somewhere nice.  I let that 
thought dismiss itself quickly.  I wanted to die, I did.  
Until a vision of Scully filled my mind.  It seemed that 
everyone was in love with her.  I knew Mulder was.  I also 
knew that she felt no love, of that sort, toward him.

I came to the door.  I didn't feel like dying anymore.  I 
didn't want to see him again, like I had felt just seconds 
before.  I wanted to see Jaclyn.  I wanted to talk to her, 
like I could before.  I wanted to ask her if what I was 
feeling was real.

She always knew.  I never knew how she could know me so 
well.  She knew my secrets, and I never told what they 
were.  I only wanted one person to be able to read me like 
that.

I opened the door.  I walked in to see an empty room.  All 
there was was a table with two goblets.  The cups of Life 
and Death.  It had to be.  I just didn't know which one was 
which.  I wanted life.  I wanted to live.  To have Mulder 
trust me.  To have Spender not fear me.  To have Scully...to 
have her love me, the way I did her.  I had no idea which 
cup to take.

I thought about the things I knew.  This made me think of 
"Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade".  There at the end, 
where they have to pick the Holy Grail to get eternal life.  
In that movie it was the carpenter's grail.  These goblets 
looked identical.  What else did I know on such matters?  
Christ sits on the right hand of God.  Could it be?  It was 
worth a shot.

I knew this was only a dream.  I felt the dream welling 
inside of my mind, but it felt so real, and so...important.

I reached for the cup on the right.  It was filled almost 
to the top with water.  I put the cup to my lips.  I held 
it there for an instant before I drank the entire glass.  I 
set the empty goblet on the table.  I didn't keel over.  I 
just stood there.  I felt the ground below me gently shake.

Out of nowhere, Jaclyn appeared.  "You know more than you 
thought."

I breathed a sigh of relief.  "It's you."

She grinned.  "Who'd you expect?  Pat Sajak?"

I smiled in spite of my overwhelming fear for my best 
friend.  It sounded exactly like a comment she would make, 
which made my fear lessen.

"Alex, there is no need to be afraid.  Yeah, I'm not really 
here, but neither are you...I hear you want to talk?"

I was in a state of shock.  She knew.  I sat down on the 
floor across form her, and we spoke for I don't know how 
long, but it was the best conversation I've ever had.

Krycek woke up.  It was the first time he had woken up 
without sweating in days.  He ran his finger through his 
hair.  He looked down at his hand for a second.  He had 
blood on it.  Another nosebleed.  He sighed and went over 
to the sink to clean up.  He looked over at the clock.  It 
was almost seven.  He went over to the phone.  He promised 
to call Scully the next time he got a nosebleed.

She came over and checked up on him.  "How are you 
feeling?"  She asked.

"Fine, normal.  I haven't been having the headaches, or 
dizzy spells like I did.  I mean, besides this, I feel 
perfectly healthy.  I know I'm not, but still, I feel 
fine."

She smiled.  "Good...how are you..._doing_?"

"I had another dream.  I think this will be the last one I 
have."  He told her about the dream, but not about what he 
and Jaclyn discussed.  "Yeah, she wants you to have her 
leather trench coat."

Scully smiled.  "Really."  She said as a statement, and not 
a question.

"Yeah...of course that means I'll have to go to her 
apartment, and I don't know if I can do that.  Even now, 
after what happened if I can."

"You know, Krycek it's okay to be afraid of things."

He nodded.  "Are you kidding me?  I'm afraid of 
everything."

She reached out and put her hand over his.  "What are you 
afraid of that's in her apartment?"

He bit his lip.  "Memories."

SOMEWHERE OVER ILLINIOS 11:11 AM

Spender shook his head.  "I can't believe Manning was a 
fake.  How did he do that, anyway?"

Mulder shrugged.  "I have no idea."

Scully touched his arm.  "Mulder, I think that he realized 
that he had some sort of power over you, and he figured out 
what it was.  And you...weren't exactly in your right mind 
about the entire case.  Modell was a person who had a lot 
of effect on you.  I don't think that you should have been 
assigned to this case.  It was too much like it.  It was 
based on it.  The entire idea that Manning was a pusher was 
brought upon by the Modell cases."

Mulder shrugged again.  " I suppose, but _how_ did he 
figure out what my weakness was?  I think we should turn 
this plane around and check it out."

Krycek leaned over Scully a little.  "I believe without a 
doubt that Manning killed those people.  The PD is still 
checking that out, Mulder, the case isn't closed."  He 
shook his head a little.  "I guess."

Scully shook her head at him.

WASHINGTON DC THE NEXT DAY 6:26 PM

Krycek rummaged through the refrigerator for some green 
peppers.  He knew he put them back there before he left.  
He found them, diced them up, and tossed them into his wok 
with the other vegetables he was preparing for himself.

He was pouring soy sauce on his plate when there was a 
knock at the door.  He placed the cap back on the bottle 
and went to answer the door.  He opened it up, surprised to 
see Scully standing there.  "Hi."

She smiled.  "Hi, I have some good news...can I come in?"

He quickly stepped out of her way.  "Oh, yeah, sure."  He 
closed the door behind her.  "I was making myself some 
dinner...you want some?"  "If it's not any trouble, that 
smells great."

Krycek fixed another plate in the kitchen and brought it, 
with his plate, out into the living room.  "Here, ya go."  
he said putting the plate in front of her on the coffee 
table.

"I love it how you can make an entire meal around 
vegetables."  She said, filling up her fork.

He smiled.  "So, what's your good news?"  "I have the cure 
for your cancer."

Krycek dropped his fork onto his plate.  "You're kidding 
me, right?"

She smiled and swallowed.  "Would I kid about something 
like this?"

"I guess not...what kind of treatment?"  "The exact same 
treatment I had."

Krycek smacked his forehead.  "Why didn't I think of that?  
I'm an idiot."

She smiled and moved closer to him on the couch.  "You're 
not an idiot.  You've had a few things on your mind...excuse 
the pun."

He grinned.  "I guess you're right.  So, when and where do 
we fix it?"

"I was thinking now and here?"  "That's the best plan I've 
ever heard."

She sat him in a chair so she could put it in.  it took 
awhile, but she got the chip in the base of his neck.

"Now when the aliens have special meetings, I'll be 
invited," he joked.

She stood behind him and made sure everything was in place.  
When she was finished, she came around and faced him.  
"Well, you look like you're all healed.  Go to the hospital 
in a few days.  It'll take awhile for it to go into effect, 
but it _will_ work."  He stood up.  "I believe you."  She 
backed up a step.  "I know you do."

He turned around.  "I'll be right back."

She sat down on the couch and waited for him.  He came back 
with a leather trench coat in his hand.  "I think this is 
now yours."  She smiled and took it.  "When did you go 
there?"

"This morning...I couldn't have gone if I hadn't talked to 
you."  He said sitting down.

"Me?  I thought it was your talk with Jaclyn."

"I thought you really didn't believe in things like that."

"You think right."  She said with a smile.

He took her hand and kissed it.  "Thank you."  "For what?"

He closed his eyes for a second.  "For everything."

She squeezed his hand.  "All I said was that everything was 
going to be alright."

"That's all it took.  You don't realize, Scully, my sister 
died when I was sixteen, and that was the end of the world 
for me.  From that point until I met up with Jaclyn, four 
years ago, I had no one.  And then, she died.  The two most 
important women, people, in my life died because of me."  
He looked away.  "I was afraid to get close to you.  I 
thought I couldn't keep anyone in my life."

She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around him.  
"I'm not going anywhere."

He smiled.  I'm glad."

They sat like that for a few minutes, until Scully 
whispered a few words that she had only said to a few men 
in her life.  "I love you."

He pulled away from her.  "What was that?"

She reached out and touched his face.  "You heard me."

He nodded.  "Okay.  Then I love you too."

She smiled.  "Good."

They sat there staring at each other until Scully stood up, 
put on Jaclyn's coat and walked out the door without saying 
good-bye.  Krycek smiled.  "Damnit, Jaclyn.  Do you always 
have to be right?"

THE END