Disclaimers in Part One.
'…On the turning away…From the pale and downtrodden…And the words they say which we won't understand…Don't accept that what's happening…Is just a case of others suffering…Or you'll find that you're joining in…The turning away…'
Krycek was despondent. The expression on his face was horrible to look at. He looked incapable of any feelings at all. He just stood there, looking quite drowsy in his sorrow, as they listened to Scully's favorite song.
'…It's a sin that somehow…Light is changing to shadow…And it's casting its shroud over all we have known…All the while how the ranks have grown…Driven on by a heart of stone…We could find that we're all alone…In the dream of the brown…'
Mulder stared at Krycek. He didn't know why. He felt that Krycek had known Scully better than he had. That he'd somehow managed to break through that damn wall she'd built around herself. He wondered why hadn't been able to do it himself. He wondered what the hell was so special about Alex Krycek.
'On the wings of the night…As the daytime is slurring…Where the speechless unite in a silent accord…Using words you will find as strange…Mesmerized as they light the flame…Feel the new wind of change…On the wings of the night…'
Mulder had been incapable of tears. He wasn't sure if he was just holding together that well, or if he was completely lost in denial and would lose it later on. He was beginning to believe that he was focusing on his anger and hatred of Krycek to avoid dealing with Scully's death.
'…No more turning away…From the weak and the weary…No more turning away from the cold distant sun…Just a world that we all must share…It's not enough just to stand and stare…Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away…'
Mulder hadn't listened to the song. He'd been too wrapped up in Krycek. He figured he'd have to go buy the damn CD now to pay Scully his proper respects.
The 'party' at the house afterwards was nothing short of a circus. There were too many people there to make for a somber evening. Too many people that hadn't seen each other in years. Mulder did find it relieving that Maggie introduced him to Charlie and the rest of the family as 'Dana's friend' and not just 'Dana's partner'.
He was still irritated by this whole thing. Everything irritated him these days.
Throughout the night, Krycek kept disappearing out onto the deck. Mulder wasn't sure if he needed to get away from all the feelings in the room, or if he just needed to grieve.
Mulder didn't care. He never followed him.
The only thought that kept him going was that once this evening was over, he would never, ever, have to set eyes on Alex Krycek again.
He didn't say goodbye to Krycek when the cab driver taking him to John Wayne Airport knocked at the front door.
*************************
Mulder walked up to Maggie's front door and hesitated. He didn't know if he could really do this. He hadn't seen these people in years. This was the third Christmas since Scully had died. He had declined invitation after invitation to a party, a holiday, dinner whenever Scully's Mom passed through town. He was always busy.
He made sure of it.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Bill answered and stared at him for a moment, a little shocked.
'Agent Mulder.' He greeted, opening the door to allow Mulder to pass through.
'Hello, Bill.' He said, glancing up at the older man. 'How are you?'
'Just fine.' He said softly. 'Mom will be thrilled that you finally made it up.'
Mulder stood still for a moment, hearing all the chatting and laughing from the other room. Tchaikovsky's 'The Sleeping Beauty Waltz' played softly. He couldn't seem to get his feet moving in that direction.
A boy of about two scampered into the room. He stopped three feet away from Mulder and stared up at him.
'Fox.' The little boy smiled.
Mulder stared down at him, at his brilliant blue eyes, which contrasted amazingly with his dark brown hair.
Krycek appeared behind him, staring at Mulder in surprise. 'I didn't expect to see you here.'
Mulder raised his eyes to meet Krycek's. He couldn't speak. All the past horror's of over two years ago came crashing back. He had a sudden image of Krycek. It was the same picture that always entered his head whenever he thought of him.
Krycek clad in black, nearly invisible in the shadows. A huddled black ball sitting on a beach. A lost teenager, getting drunk after losing his first love. A new Dad, wondering how he was going to raise a son all on his own when he couldn't even deal with his own feelings.
Someone who'd never been heartbroken before.
Krycek looked the same physically, minus the bleached hair, and his eyes were a hundred years older.
'I didn't expect to come.' Mulder said softly.
The two stared at each other for a few moments. Bill cleared his throat and left the room, obviously not wanting to be in the middle of the bad emotions between the two. He didn't know much. Only that Krycek was the father of Dana's baby and that Mulder was pissed off about it.
Krycek smiled, putting a hand on top of his son's head. 'I see you've met Cade.'
Mulder managed to smile down at the little boy. 'Yes, in a way.'
Cade smiled shyly up at Mulder for a moment, then took off in the direction of the noise.
Another lengthy silence followed. Krycek was content to wait for Mulder to speak.
'Cade?'
Krycek smiled. 'Dana wanted to name him Christopher Cade. But he informed me not too long ago that he preferred Cade to Christopher because there's already enough kids named Chris.'
Mulder couldn't help a small smile. 'What does Cade mean?'
'Its Gaelic for 'pure'.' Krycek said softly.
'He's beautiful.' Mulder said softly, not knowing what else to say.
Krycek nodded. 'He looks like his Mother.'
'He looks like both of you.' Mulder said, amazed at how easy the words came out.
'Fox!'
Maggie's surprised gasp was music to his ears. She embraced him warmly. 'I'm so glad you decided to come.'
Mulder smiled against her head, surprised that he felt very much at home. 'So am I.'
Christmas there was wonderful for Mulder. It felt so good to be back among people he knew again.
He was totally captivated by Cade. The little boy was staring at everyone, analyzing. Mulder assumed Cade not only had the alien powers, but Krycek and Scully's high IQ's on top of that.
He had even managed to like Krycek. They had been at ease with each other, joking and laughing.
Mulder was actually disappointed when the night grew late and the festivities were drawing to a close.
Maggie embraced Mulder tightly, admonishing him for staying away for so long. 'Are you sure you don't want to stay the night, Fox?'
Mulder nodded, not sure at all. 'I should get back.'
'Why don't you stay, Fox?' Krycek asked. 'I've got a proposition for you.'
Mulder looked at Krycek. That temptation was too great to resist.
*************************
After putting Cade to sleep, Krycek and Mulder settled in some chairs outside on the patio. It was freezing, snow covering the ground. Neither of them cared.
Krycek handed Mulder an Irish Coffee to keep warm.
'You and I always seem to be drinking.' Mulder said as he took a sip.
'It's the only way I can stand you.' Krycek replied.
Mulder looked at him, trying to figure out if he was kidding and Krycek flicked his eyes sideways at him.
'Screw you.' Mulder said.
Krycek laughed and Mulder took another sip.
'So?' He asked. 'You have a proposition for me?'
'Cade and I are heading back to Seattle for New Year's.' Krycek said. 'The Space Needle has a big fireworks show. Cade is going to love it. After the New Year, we're going to head over to Leavenworth.'
'What's that?' Mulder asked.
'A little Bavarian town. They have horsedrawn sleighs and German shops, it's great.'
'It sounds great.' Mulder said, shivering in spite of the warm drink. 'But why are you telling me about it?'
Krycek didn't look at him. He raised his mug to his lips. 'I think you should come with us.'
Mulder looked sideways at him. He was shocked. Why would Krycek want him along for anything? He'd always been terrible to him. Except when they were making fun of Bill at dinner that one time.
Krycek laughed. 'I still think about that every time I sit down to a big dinner.'
Mulder grinned too. 'Damn, we were acting like little kids.'
'Come with us, Fox.' Krycek said. 'It'll be fun. For you and for Cade. I'll even break down and say I'd like it too.'
Mulder looked at Krycek, wondering if he should still try to hate him. It made his life easier when he had someone to blame everything on.
Krycek smiled at him. 'I really want Cade to know the people that knew his Mom. Dana loved you, so I'm sure you're not all that bad.'
Mulder stared back at him, his eyes growing watery at the statement Krycek just made. He made no attempt to hide his tears. He knew if he could mourn in front of anyone, it was Krycek because he would understand. He had loved her too.
For reason's he'd never know, Mulder agreed to go.
*************************
Mulder stood on the deck of the floating house, looking over at the dark water in Lake Washington.
He had to grudgingly admit that the past week had been fun.
Krycek knew Seattle like the back of his hand and had showed Mulder all the sights. They had taken Cade to the Seattle Aquarium, where both the little boy and Mulder had been fascinated by the underwater dome. Krycek had stood off to the side and watched the two of them stare above their heads, pointing out sea creatures to each other.
Mulder had caught Krycek's gaze and grinned foolishly in spite of himself as the latter held a video camera to his face.
'I'm forgetting what you look like behind that thing.'
Krycek smiled. 'Why do I get the distinct feeling that you're not complaining?'
They had made the rounds of downtown Seattle. Mulder particularly loved how everything was done up for the holidays. Krycek took Cade on the Carousel while Mulder caught everything on tape this time.
Gameworks had just been ugly anyway you look at it. Mulder and Krycek indulged a bit too much in the virtual shooting games.
They took the ferry over to Victoria and tooled around Buchart gardens, which were beautifully lit for the holidays.
The night before New Years, Mulder and Krycek had sat in the living room and drank Scotch. They were both sitting on the floor. Mulder sat with his back to the fire, and Krycek sat across from him, leaning against the couch. They were both a little drunk when Krycek pulled out the camera.
'Oh shit, Krycek.' Mulder whined drunkenly. 'Not that damn thing again.'
'Such a foul mouth when you drink.' Krycek replied. 'Tell me a story about Dana. Something for Cade. So he can watch it when he gets older.'
'About Scully?' Mulder asked softly.
'Yeah. Tell me your favorite memory. And please bare in mind that it's for her son.'
Mulder laughed and took a heavy drink of the Glen Livit, looking off to the side in thought. He suddenly grinned.
'Okay. When we were in Los Angeles for the premiere of that horrid movie, we had an extra day. And we went to an amusement park, north of LA. It was a Six Flag's…'
'Magic Mountain.' Krycek smiled behind the camera.
'That's the one.' Mulder pointed at him and continued. 'There's this ride. It's actually pretty stupid. You stand in this circular room, and it starts to go round and round…'
'Spin Out.' Krycek laughed. 'The bottom drops out beneath you.'
'Yeah!' Mulder exclaimed. 'And the centri…Centralogical…'
'Centrilical force.'
'Whatever.' Mulder waved a hand at him. 'That motion makes you stick to the walls. There were these two teenagers that turned themselves upside down. And Scully tried to do it too, but she got stuck halfway.'
Krycek began to laugh, catching the visual from Mulder.
'So she…' Mulder began to laugh along with him. 'So she is stuck sideways, and I guess she started to get sick. So she was yelling for them to stop the ride. She tried to put her hands up, but couldn't. Whenever she tried to hold up a hand, it just smacked against the person next to her.'
'If I was next to her,' Krycek said, 'I'd be afraid that she would throw up.'
Mulder laughed harder. 'Well, they stopped the damn thing, and she slid to the floor. Everyone else managed to get to their feet, but she just kinda fell. We couldn't get out of there fast enough. Needless to say, Scully threw up outside, and seeing her puke made me puke…'
They both laughed for a few minutes.
'So, that's my favorite memory of Scully.' Mulder said. 'She wasn't in control for once and she didn't handle it very well. It was almost a vindication'
'She did like to have a handle on things.' Krycek said softly.
Mulder nodded. 'That, she did.'
They shared a comfortable silence.
'Your turn.' Mulder said, taking the camera from Krycek.
'What?'
'You heard me, Krycek.' Mulder said, putting the camera up to his face and settling back on the floor in front of the fire. 'What's your favorite memory of Scully.'
'Fox, I can tell Cade these stories anytime-'
'I had to do it, and now you do too.'
Krycek blew out a breath. The flames danced across his face as he looked off to the side. 'I'm not sure I want-'
'Oh, shut up and tell me.' Mulder said. 'Even I'm curious to know. And I was there for the pumpkin scenario, so let's just skip that one.'
'It was when she told me to have a seat.' Krycek said softly, not looking at him.
'Huh?'
'The night after you'd been abducted.' Krycek's eyes were staring into the fire, far away. 'I went to her apartment. I had wanted to warn her about the baby. I knew it was important. I knew what they had created the baby for. I knew it was to save mankind. I had assumed it was yours.'
He drifted off, lost in the memory.
'Go on.' Mulder said softly.
'I went to Dana's apartment to warn her. Skinner was there. He answered the door. I could feel how much Dana hated me. Her disgust towards me was like needles piercing my skin. She was terrified of me. She thought I had been responsible for your abduction. But there was something in my eyes. Something in my eyes that she could see. She was scared, and she was hurt, and she couldn't stand the sight of me. But somehow, she saw past all that and found the good. Something in my eyes. Something.'
A beat of silence passed before Krycek smiled sadly to himself. 'Skinner answered the door. I said I needed to talk to her. And she told me to have a seat.' He smiled up at Mulder, inadvertently into the camera. 'I truly believe, that with those words, she saved my life.'
Mulder kept the camera on Krycek's face. 'How so?'
Krycek shook his head, thinking. His eyes wandered the room as he thought about the question. 'Once I had found out what had been going on behind my back, I didn't know who I was anymore. It seemed that the person I was, that all I'd been doing, that everything I'd been taught to believe, it was all a lie. I had nothing. I was lost. Her words were like an acceptance. Someone was willing to listen to me. Someone finally took the time. Dana was the first person to ever know who I was; she was the first person to love me for who I was. She was the first person who knew everything about me and still accepted me. She was my first true friend. She was my best friend.'
They were silent and Krycek laughed, his eyes were teary. 'Now that I've babbled on and on…'
Mulder set the camera down and looked at his supposed brother. 'Scully was one hell of a person.'
'She was.'
'Krycek?'
'Fox.'
'Can I ask you a question?'
'Of course.'
'What happened the night before Cade was born?'
'It was Thanksgiving.' Krycek said. 'We had a pumpkin fight, lot's of visitor's, a huge dinner, the baby had been kicking…'
'That's not what I meant.' Mulder said.
Krycek didn't look at him. 'I know.'
A few minutes of silence passed and Mulder had decided to approach the subject differently. 'Did you love her?' He bluntly asked.
'Of course I loved her.' Krycek responded. 'She was the mother of my child, she was my best friend.'
'That's not what I meant.' Mulder said, looking sternly at him.
Krycek had smiled and taken a swallow of his scotch. 'I know.'
Mulder took the hint. The two of them had chattered on about trivial things. Krycek had wanted to know more about weird cases that Mulder had worked on while Mulder had wanted to know more about the Syndicate and Krycek's past adventures.
The Space Needle had been interesting, to say the least. The fog had rolled in five minutes before the show, then rolled out five minutes after it had stopped. Krycek had laughed. Apparently, it did that every year. All they could see were the flashes and colors of the pyrotechnics.
Not only did Mulder disagree on Cade being up so late, but it was freezing cold as well.
'Oh please.' Krycek said, smiling, hoisting Cade onto his shoulders. 'Cade tells me what he needs.'
Mulder felt stupid after that, realizing that Cade was more in control of his own life than Mulder was in control of his.
'I don't know.' Mulder said, staring over at the water. 'This is pretty damn scary.'
Krycek laughed. 'Scary? Fox, you've seen things that I haven't even seen. You really expect me to believe that you're afraid of the Puget Sound?'
Mulder turned to look at Krycek, eyes a little wide. 'The largest squid in the world live in the Puget Sound! How do you know a giant tentacle isn't going to reach out of the water and pull your floating house down?'
'Fox, those squid are under the Narrows bridge, down in Tacoma.' Krycek grinned lopsidedly at him. 'That's pretty far away.'
'They swim.'
Krycek had begun to laugh, taking a drink of water.
Mulder indulged in his Guinness. 'How can you drink water at this time of morning?'
'I don't need to be dehydrated.' Krycek said, looking at his watch. 'It's three thirty in the morning. Cade will be awake in a few hours.'
Mulder winced. 'These hours you keep. When do you ever sleep?'
'I don't need much sleep. I never really have.' Krycek took another drink of water. He suddenly began to choke.
Mulder looked over at him, concerned. 'Are you all right?'
Krycek's face had turned white, water spewed out of his mouth and nose. If it didn't scare Mulder when it happened, it would have been funny.
Krycek gasped for air. His eyes were terrified.
'You okay? Mulder asked again.
Krycek dropped his glass of water and it shattered on the deck. He put his hands on his face, swooning.
Mulder guided him to a chair. 'What's wrong?'
Krycek stared out across Lake Washington for a moment, out at the University, before Mulder noticed tears dripping down his face.
'Krycek?' He asked softly. 'What's wrong?'
Krycek reached over and put a hand on Mulder's arm.
His head was suddenly flooding with feelings. It had been years; it had been so long. Mulder knew what he was feeling. This was amazing, this was insane. This couldn't be real. Mulder could feel her reaching out to Krycek, then to him.
Mulder began to cry and spoke softly.
'Hey Scully.'
'Daddy?'
Krycek whipped his head towards Cade, his mind suddenly clearing of Dana. He quickly passed a hand over his mouth. 'Yeah, son?'
'Where's Mommy?'
Mulder and Krycek both stared back at him. Mulder didn't know what to say and would have given Krycek everything he had if he could have come up with something.
'I can hear her.' Cade said.
Krycek hugged his son, tears falling down his cheeks all over again.
This little scene was way more than Mulder could handle. He felt like an intruder.
Krycek suddenly looked up at Mulder. 'Can you get into the base?'
'What base?'
'The base you're working out of.'
Mulder stared back at Krycek. 'Why do you ask?'
Krycek stood up to face him, holding Cade. 'That's where she is.'
'It couldn't be.' Mulder said. 'I work there all the time, I would have known.'
'Have you had sudden leaps in your progress of mapping out the vaccine?'
Mulder thought about it, slowly nodded.
Krycek's face was twisted in agony. 'They've been using Dana.'
*************************
Krycek carried Cade up to the front door. Maggie opened it before he could knock.
He held his son for a few moments, then passed him over to Scully's mom.
'What is this important business, Alex?'
Krycek smoothed his hand over Cade's sleeping head. 'Nothing you'd be too interested in. Just some old stuff I have to deal with.'
Maggie looked over Krycek's shoulder to see Mulder sitting in the driver's seat of the car. He waved at her. The two of them together, she thought. This couldn't be good.
'You will be careful, wont you, Alex?'
Krycek smiled at her and suddenly hugged both of them. 'Thank you.'
Maggie hugged him back with the arm that wasn't holding Cade. 'For what?'
'Just for everything.' He closed his eyes. 'I never had a family before.'
Maggie pulled back to look him in the eyes. 'You always will be part of our family.'
Krycek smiled back at her. He gave Cade a kiss on the cheek, then turned and walked away.
*************************
They pulled up in front of the warehouse. Krycek looked at it, his eyes scanning every nook and cranny.
'She's in there.' Was all he said, getting out of the car and approaching the door.
Mulder followed close behind. Krycek opened the door and stepped inside, looking more and more like the Krycek he remembered. Sneaky and plotting.
They came into a large empty room. It had a staircase on the far end of the wall; the middle was filled with medical equipment, a table, and instruments. There was a one-way mirror on the right wall.
Mulder stayed back by the door to cover their retreat. Krycek walked to the middle of the room, eyeing everything, his face growing angrier and angrier. Finally, he turned to the mirror and stared at it.
Pieces of glass flew everywhere. Mulder turned his head and covered his face before seeing Diana and Cancer Man in the room along with a few other unrecognizable people the mirror was protecting.
'My own father.' Krycek said lowly. If looks could kill, Mulder mused, everyone in the building would be dead by now.
'I merely contributed to your creation.' Spender said.
'Give her to me.' Krycek said.
Diana stepped over the rubble, into the room. 'I'm afraid we can't do that.'
'Give her to me.' Krycek said again in a low, menacing voice, pointing at the ground by his side.
Some of the lights exploded, covering the room in a shower of sparks.
'Oh Alex.' Diana said, stepping in front of him. 'Do you really think your tricks can frighten us?'
Mulder stared at Diana, not able to understand what was going on. Even though he couldn't stand the sight of his Ex-wife, even though he knew that she was greedy and manipulative, he had believed in the cause they'd both been working towards.
What the hell was going on? Why was Spender here?
He couldn't believe that he'd been fooled and betrayed.
He refused to believe that he'd been fooled and betrayed.
'We have already taken everything we can from Dana Scully.' Spender said, stepping over to stand next to Diana. 'We have the anti-agent. Now we need the alien DNA to perfect the vaccine. In other words, Alex, we need you.'
Krycek stared back at them. Other people stepped into the room. The bounty hunter appeared, moving down the stairs. Krycek looked around, accessing the situation.
He suddenly jerked his head up towards the staircase, his eyes alert.
Running footsteps sounded on the stairs and Krycek moved towards the sound. Mulder watched as Scully appeared into view, moving down the staircase, two people behind her holding her by the arms. She looked haggard. Like she could blow over in the wind, dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was grown out one length and halfway down her back.
Mulder wanted to reach out to her, to go to her. Everything was happening so fast. His mind was still spiraling out of control. He kept a clear enough head to remember that he was covering their exit.
Krycek stared up at Scully. 'Let her go.'
Diana moved to stand in front of him. 'What are you prepared to offer, Alex?'
Krycek and Scully stared at each other. 'Let her go and I'll stay.'
Scully's face was terrified; she gave a small shake of her head. Krycek only stared back at her, swallowing a lump in his throat. 'You need me. I'll stay.'
'Fair enough.' Spender said, moving away. 'The Rebels will be pleased.'
Scully was released. She ran full-speed down the stairs, skipping the last two steps and launching herself at Krycek. Her caught her and held her as she sobbed against his neck.
Thoughts flowed through Krycek. Her torture, her loneliness. All the tests they had run, all the pain they had inflicted. Krycek turned towards Diana, she had been the cause. She was behind all of it. He could see it in all of Scully's memories, her scheming face behind everything. A rage unlike any Krycek had ever known filled him. He had never been as angry as he was now. He had never hated anyone as he hated her now.
He turned towards Diana and approached her, his arm around Scully as she hung onto him; both her arms were around his waist, letting him support her.
Krycek held out a hand out and pointed a Glock in between Diana's eyes, the gun shaking in her face.
'You take two years away from this woman? Away from her child?' Krycek asked in a low, shaky voice. 'And you give her two years of pain in return?'
'You can't shoot me, Alex.' Diana said. 'There's pure oxygen in this room.'
Krycek's eyes flicked around the room as he took everything in. He dropped the gun on the floor.
Diana's face smiled at him, snake-like. He reached his right hand out and a scalpel from a nearby table flew into it. Before anyone could realize what was happening, Krycek reached out with the scalpel and slit Diana's throat.
Mulder's eyes grew wide at the sight of Diana falling to the floor, blood spewing out of her neck.
Krycek watched her die in disgust, not saying a word. Scully hung onto to him. She really wanted to get out of this prison which had been her home for over two years.
'Jesus.' Mulder said softly, looking at Krycek.
Spender stepped over the twitching Diana, looking into Krycek's face. 'You are going to keep your side of the bargain now, aren't you?'
Scully shook her head. 'Alex…'
Krycek only nodded in response. He knew it was the only way they'd let Dana out. In spite of all his 'weird, alien powers', he knew that they'd all be killed instantly if he didn't comply.
Dana, he thought. You have to go now.
Scully shook her head, her eyes haunted after all she'd seen. I can't leave you here.
You have to go, Dana. Just turn around and walk away.
Scully shook her head again, tears falling down her face. She couldn't let him stay here and be a part of all this, she couldn't.
'Fox.' Krycek said out loud, not breaking eye contact with Scully.
'No, Alex.' She said again.
'I owe big time, Dana.' Krycek said. 'I have to stay.'
Before she could protest again, Krycek turned her towards Mulder and set her in his arms.
'Just turn around and walk away.' He said again.
Scully bit her lip, tightly holding onto his hands. 'I can't leave you here.'
Krycek searched Mulder's eyes. Please take care of them for me.
I will. Mulder looked Krycek in the eyes. I promise.
Scully knew it was unavoidable. She was going. He was staying. The thought wouldn't compute.
She couldn't let him stay there.
'Fox. You're going to have to take her out of here.' Krycek said, staring down at Scully. 'She won't leave without me.'
Mulder put his arms tighter around her, ready to carry her out if he needed to.
Scully and Krycek locked eyes again. He tightened his hands in hers, giving them a last squeeze.
Dana, just turn around and walk away. That's all you need to do.
Scully shook her head again.
Krycek yanked his hands out of hers and backed away to stand next to Spender.
Scully burst into tears the second Krycek's hands cleared of hers. Even though she could still feel his thoughts, it was like a piece of her was gone. Mulder's arms were around her, but she couldn't bring herself to turn around and walk away.
There was no way she could leave him there.
Mulder stared at Krycek, really wishing that there were some way to end this differently. He knew that Krycek was trying to be strong, but even Mulder didn't need to have psychic powers to see in Krycek's face that he was terrified. That he was doing this for Cade and Scully. That it had to be one or the other and Krycek had made that choice for all of them.
Please go, Fox. Krycek's thought burned into him. Get her out of here.
Mulder turned and began to walk away. Scully cried, holding onto him. Mulder wished there was something he could do, but he knew there was nothing. He had no power to help this in any way. The only thing he could do was take Scully out of here, take her home to Cade.
'I can't leave him here.' Scully said, her voice shaking through her tears.
'I know, Scully.' He replied, powerless to do anything.
She began to cry harder. 'I can't leave him here.'
'I know, Scully.' Mulder kicked open the door and they both squinted in the bright sunshine. 'I know.'
Mulder put her into the car and ran around to the other side.
Scully was sobbing, feeling Krycek's anguish at losing her and Cade. She felt that he knew in his heart that he would never see either of them again.
Mulder started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds' was playing on the stereo.
'…Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain…Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies…'
Scully gasped, her eyes were wide. Krycek was gone. Her eyes flicked back and forth, she searched for him. But just like that, he was gone.
*************************
The next summer…
Mulder brought Scully a glass of iced tea. They were sitting on the bottom deck of the beach house. She smiled her thanks at him as he sat down in the chair next to her.
They both watched Cade, building some crazy sandcastle.
'I can't believe how big he's getting.' Mulder observed. 'Every time I come out, he's doubled in size.'
Scully smiled. 'It's amazing.'
Mulder came out to visit Scully every chance he got, which wasn't as often as she'd like. At least it's better than the last time, she sighed. She didn't blame him for not being there with her, she knew he thought he was doing the right thing, trying to fight Spender. Wherever he was.
Things were different between them.
A lot had happened while she was away. People had moved on with their lives. Back when she had been pregnant, it had seemed that Mulder would never be able to forgive her for having Krycek's child, that they were always going to have problems.
Now she saw how much he loved Cade. She saw that he had even managed to half bury the hatchet he'd had for Krycek. Mulder seemed happy and at ease with himself and with her. With Cade and with Krycek. She knew that Mulder had loved her, that maybe he still did. She made sure that he knew how much she cared about him.
But things were still different.
Mulder knew that Scully missed Krycek terribly. Hell, he himself did. He had just started to get to know the man. Had just started to get over the past. Had just started kicking the idea around in his head that maybe it'd be nice to have a brother.
Mulder had always wondered what had happened between Krycek and Scully the night before Cade was born. He didn't know. He figured he never would. Mulder knew that Scully had loved him, that maybe she still did. He made sure that she knew that he cared about her.
But things were still different.
Later on that evening, Mulder was preparing some veggie burgers on the grill; Scully and Cade were sitting together on a bench, visiting without saying a word.
'Mommy?'
'Hmmm?'
Cade had looked up at her with his beautiful blue eyes.
'Sometimes I hear Daddy.'
Scully smiled at him sadly. 'I know, sweetheart. Sometimes I do too.'
Cade had left it at that, seeming to understand without needing to hear a word.
After 'Uncle Fox' had put Cade to bed, he and Scully had sat in the full moon, having a glass of wine.
'You've never told me.' Mulder said. 'Krycek talks to you?'
'No.' Scully shook her head. ' Alex would never torture us like that. I think that sometimes when he thinks about us, that's what we're feeling.'
Mulder sighed, putting a hand over hers. She immediately interlaced her fingers with his, enjoying the support he gave her.
'Tell me about my brother.'
Scully smiled over at him. Mulder had never called Alex that before. 'He loves music.'
'Yeah?' Mulder returned her smile. 'What's his favorite group?'
'Pink Floyd.' Scully said. 'He said that he'd always thought they were singing to him. That all their songs mirrored his feelings.'
Pink Floyd, Mulder thought to himself. I remember that. They kept him sane.
Krycek, sitting in a huddled black ball on the beach getting drunk.
He shook his head to clear it before Scully could pick the image out of his head. She didn't need to know any of that. It would just upset her.
He took a sip of his wine. 'What's his favorite song?'
'Imagine.'
Mulder looked surprised. 'John Lennon?'
'Yes.' She nodded. 'Alex may have seemed evil and mean and harsh, but underneath, he wanted nothing but peace on earth.' Scully smiled, remembering all the times Alex had told her he was bitter he'd missed the sixties. 'He was just a big hippie.'
Mulder was silent for a moment. 'I've missed a lot, haven't I?'
'Yes.' She said softly. 'You have.'
They didn't speak for a very long time. Scully suddenly took a deep breath. When Mulder looked over at her questioningly, she smiled and set her other hand on top of his. 'See what I mean?' She asked softly.
Mulder felt Krycek, thinking about Cade, Scully, and him. He smiled at the odd feeling that his brother was reaching out to him. He tried to reach back, to let him know that all was okay, that all was finally forgiven. That he hadn't been forgotten.
That he was his brother.
Mulder spoke aloud softly to put more effort behind it.
'Hey Alex.'
End
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