Disclaimers in Part One.
When she finally managed to wake up, she realized she was in the back of a van. She had short, fuzzy memories. Being moved around, the overwhelming sound of being in a large plane, Mulder's voice, Spender's voice, Cooper's voice. She knew she'd been kept heavily sedated, but she didn't know for how long or where she was.
Scully struggled to keep calm as the memories came back. Alex being shot, Cade being taken…
She craned her head far enough to see the driver and another man sitting in the passenger seat.
They were young and looked like military. They were listening to a rap song that had every fifth word bleeped out. She grimaced. Although she liked to think of herself as someone who loved all music, she never did understand the whole gangster rap thing. She wouldn't normally mind it except for now it felt like her head was going to explode with the heavy thumping of the bass.
She glanced out the window. All she saw were trees. Pine trees and a gray sky. She sighed. She could only be in the Pacific Northwest. With her luck, she was probably in Alaska.
Scully slowly sat up and the man in the passenger seat turned to her, gun in hand.
'We gonna have any trouble with you?'
'My head hurts.' She replied. 'Can you turn it down?'
He turned it up even louder.
'…Oh yeah, throw your neighborhood in the air…if ya don't care…'
'Thank you.' She replied dryly.
They pulled up into a park and Scully looked out the window to see two other cars parked in the small lot.
'Where are we?' She asked. 'What is this?'
'This is where you get off.' The driver put the gear in park and turned off the engine. 'Follow that gravel path down there, towards all those trees. Go through the small trail and you'll head right onto a pier.'
The passenger opened the door for her and she shivered in the breezy weather. He pulled out a radio. 'She's on her way.'
'Confirm that. We're waiting.'
The voice sounded like Cooper's, but she couldn't be sure.
The passenger grinned back at her. 'They're already here. Go on.'
Scully debated on making a run for it, albeit briefly. She had no idea where she was, and they had Cade. She had no choice but to comply.
Her shoes crunched the gravel. She was still in her suit from however long ago that was and her heels were killing her. Her hair was still up, but she was sure it was mess. She wrapped her arms around herself, her breath blowing out in front of her. She entered the trees, leaving the normal world behind. There was a path to the left and she took it. The ground on either side of the path became swampy and the foliage thickened. She turned a bend and saw the wooden pier. It jutted out over a large lake. Three men were at the end.
She could recognize Cooper from fifty yards away. The cloud of smoke hovering around indicated Spender. She knew the third man, but she couldn't grasp what it meant. She couldn't put him in with the company of these men. It made no sense. Her two separate worlds collided and she stopped walking.
'Bill?'
'Hello, Dana.' Her brother approached her and smiled while hugging her tightly. 'It's been a long time.'
'What…' She looked up at him as she hugged him. 'What is this?'
'Mulder asked me to come.' He replied. 'To make sure you were okay. To reassure you that everything's fine.'
'Mulder?' She asked in a whisper. 'How did Mulder…' She trailed off in confusion.
'Bill's been our man in Naval Intelligence.' Cooper said. 'He was who alerted us to the chicken at the Naval Shipyard.'
'What?' Scully's hands went to the side of her face. Nothing was making sense.
'It all really started with the Navy.' Spender blew out smoke. 'Back in World War II, when a submarine was sent down to recover a crashed UFO.'
'Zeus Faber.' Scully whispered.
'Excellent memory.' Spender said.
'I told Mulder that Bill was our contact with NI.' Cooper said. 'I thought it might be helpful if they talked.'
'I never knew anything about all this.' Bill shook his head. 'I was just tracking.'
Scully was bowled over. She had no idea what any of this meant. She knew that was probably one of the ideas behind this. To confuse her so she wouldn't come flying at Cooper and Spender with a full frontal assault. Kicking, screaming and swearing like she had originally planned. Her mind was spinning too much to be angry just now. He mind drifted to Bill's eternal hatred of Mulder. He had probably disliked him so much because he knew that whatever Mulder was dragging her into was dangerous.
'Cade is fine.' Bill said.
Spender smiled. 'Just as I promised.'
'How do you know?' Scully asked her brother.
'I saw him myself.' Bill smiled. 'Mulder is watching over him like a hawk. I think Cade likes him.'
Tears filled Scully's eyes. 'I know he does.'
'We have the vaccine.' Cooper said. 'It's done.'
'Then where's my son?'
'We have to test it first.' Spender said. 'We need to make sure it's effective, then Cade can go.'
'Mulder is taking care of him.' Bill said. 'Mom sees him everyday.'
'Mom?' Scully asked, struggling for composure, still standing in Bill's arms.
'They're both in protective custody.' Spender said. 'They're both fine.'
'We're turning down the homestretch.' Cooper said. 'It's almost over.'
'Why am I here?' She asked.
'That was the deal.' Cooper said.
'Mulder said he would deliver Cade in exchange for your safety.' Spender said. 'On the condition that Cade would be returned to you as soon as the vaccine was finished.'
'There aren't that many people who know you're alive.' Cooper said. 'The three of us, your mother, Mulder, Steve and Marie Koskie, and Skinner.'
'Where's Skinner?'
Spender smiled. 'Working with Mulder, same as Steven Koskie.'
'You're going to need to disappear as soon as you get Cade.' Bill said. 'But until then, you need to stay here, and wait to be contacted.'
'Where's here?'
'Seattle.' Spender grinned even larger. 'Where all of this first started.'
Scully shook her head. 'All of this started a long time ago.'
'See that small cottage over on the other side of the lake?' Cooper pointed. 'That's where you'll be staying. It's very private here. This whole lake area is actually a greenbelt for all these homes.'
'Inside the top dresser drawer in the bedroom is a cell phone.' Spender said. 'That's how you will be contacted on where to meet Cade.'
Scully stood shaking in her brother's embrace. How was she supposed to make it through this? She was going to be stranded up here, all alone, without her son, without anybody, and she was just supposed to wait and hope that the phone rings?
'How long?' She strangled out.
'I don't know.' Spender replied. 'Not long.'
'Day's? Month's?' She raised her voice. 'How long?'
'Weeks.' He said. 'At the most.'
Scully buried her face in Bill's chest and tried not to cry.
'There's all the money you need in the top drawer with the cell phone.' Cooper said. 'A fake identity, credit cards, a gun, a passport. Just in case. We're going to walk away, wait until we're out of sight before walking over to the cottage. The back door is unlocked. Instead of where you made a left, you could just continue on and the trail will take you past the house.'
'Bill?' Scully asked as he moved away. This was surreal, she thought, this was totally surreal.
He smiled at her. 'I'll see you soon. I promise.'
'Scully,' Cooper said, 'it's been, interesting knowing you. To say the least.'
She stared back at him in silence and he went on. 'You haven't asked about Alex Krycek.'
'I don't need to ask.' She said softly, tears springing to her eyes. 'I know he's dead.'
He tilted his head. 'How did you know that?'
She swallowed. 'I just know.'
'Your contact will help you decide what to do, after.' Spender said. 'He is the expert on disappearing. Fox took the liberty of choosing him because he knew you'd be well taken care of.'
'Who is he?' Scully asked softly, meeting Spender's eyes.
Spender smiled. 'He's never had a name.'
Bill released her hand and they began to move away.
'I do believe this is goodbye.' Spender said. 'It's been an honor. You've been a worthy opponent. I wish we could have been on the same side.'
Scully watched them walk away, trying really hard not to chase after them.
'Oh, Miss Scully.' Spender got halfway down the pier and turned back. 'I believe it was John Barrymore who said: Happiness often sneaks through a door you didn't know you left open.'
She made sure that Cooper was still walking away, then she gave Spender a small smile.
*************************
Mulder leaned against the wall, staring down at his brother. He was supposed to be waking up soon.
A memory kept playing over and over in his head. They were in his apartment, Mulder was on the ground and Krycek was pointing a gun at him.
'Hear this, Agent Mulder.' His brother had begun, evil and grim. 'Listen very carefully because what I'm telling you is deadly serious. There is a war raging, and unless you pull your head out of the sand, you and I and about five billion other people are going to go the way of the dinosaur. I'm talking planned invasion. The colonization of this planet by an extraterrestrial race.'
Mulder laughed. 'I thought you were serious.'
'Kazakhstan, Skyland Mountain, the site in Pennsylvania.' Krycek went on as if Mulder hadn't said a word. 'They're all alien lighthouses where the colonization will begin, but where now, a battle's being waged. A struggle for heaven and earth. Where there is one law: Fight or die. And one rule: Resist or serve.
'Serve who?' Mulder asked.
Krycek shook his head. 'No, not who. What.'
'Krycek, you're a murderer, a liar and a coward.' Mulder replied, tired of the charade. 'Just because you stick a gun in my chest, I'm supposed to believe you're my friend?'
Back in the room, Mulder put his hands over his face and exhaled heavily. Well, Krycek hadn't quite turned out to be his friend.
He had leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, Mulder thought to himself. I had always thought that was so odd. Thought that maybe he was playing Judas.
So much has happened since then. How many years ago was that? Too many. And everything was still all screwed up.
'Where are they?'
Mulder looked down to see Krycek's eyes open, pinning him to the wall.
'You're awake.' He replied. 'How do you feel?'
'Restraints?' Krycek asked when he had tried to sit up. 'I have to tell you, this doesn't help that whole trust issue you've been agonizing over.'
'I knew if you weren't restrained, you'd get up and try to take on the building, Alex.'
'Where the hell are they, Mulder?' Krycek asked. 'What's going on?'
'Mulder?' He asked. 'I can't remember the last time you called me that.'
'Where are they?'
'They're fine, Alex.' Mulder said softly. 'You really think I'd put them in danger?'
'What are you doing, Mulder?' His brother asked, his voice steadily rising. 'Have you completely lost your mind? Spender's not going to let her or Cade go. Where the hell's my son?'
'Scully's been sent away.' Mulder said, approaching the bedside. 'She's fine. Cade is fine. Maggie is with him all the time. I'm always there. Nothing is going to happen. I promise. No tricks, really Alex. Scully is hiding, waiting for Cade. You're going to be released and you need to find her. You need to take care of her. I'm sure she's already half-insane by now with worry over you and Cade. She has the information on how she's going to be contacted when Cade will be released, which is going to be very soon. I know the basic area she's in, but nothing beyond that. And I'm reluctant to go ask Spender about anything. I want you out of here right now, as soon as you feel ready. It's almost over, Alex.'
Krycek stared back at him, looking either really angry, or really upset. Mulder couldn't choose.
'Very few people know you're alive, Alex. Me, Koskie, Marie, Skinner, and of course, dear old Dad.'
Krycek still didn't respond. He gnawed on his lip as his eyes wandered the room.
'Alex, if I had told you in the car what was going to happen, you wouldn't have gone along with it.'
'Well, gee, Mulder, there's a reason for that, you know.'
'I'm taking care of everything, okay, Alex?' Mulder said. 'Everything is fine. I've made a deal. Spender wouldn't dare screw it up. He's been waiting for this for far too long. It's what he's always wanted.'
Krycek eyed him for a minute. 'You're working with them, aren't you?'
'I've made a deal.'
'If either one of them is harmed,' Krycek said softly, 'I swear to God, Fox Mulder, I'll kill you.'
'I thought you didn't believe in God, Alex.'
'The principle is still the same.'
'Such harsh words to say to your brother.' Mulder replied.
Krycek looked him in the eye with such fierce that Mulder was afraid fire would shoot out of his eyes.
'You are not my brother.'
Mulder took in a breath and held it.
He didn't speak for a minute. He stood there with his brow furrowed, amazed at what had just happened.
'What's wrong, Mulder?' Krycek asked, his lips barely moving. 'Feeling guilty?'
'No.' Mulder shook his head before meeting Krycek's eyes. 'I was just so unprepared for how much that simple statement would really affect me.'
He turned to leave, then stopped, his back towards Krycek.
'You know, Alex. I'm sorry we never got to be brother's.'
Outside, Mulder shut the door and let his head fall back against it, letting out a deep sigh.
*************************
Scully felt quite certain that she was going to go crazy soon.
'…Dear God, hope you got the letter and…I pray, you can make it better down here…'
The End radio station was on in the house. The closest thing she could find to KROQ. It was resurrection weekend. It reminded her of Alex. It reminded her of better days.
'…But all the people that you made in your image…See them starving on their feet…Cause they don't get enough to eat…From God…'
She stood on the little porch at the back of the house at one o'clock in the morning. She was leaning against the railing, looking down at the still water. It was nearly pitch black out here. During the day, lily pads made it hard to see anything below the surface of the water. Ducks quacked at her as they sailed in for a splash landing and every so often, Canadian Geese would honk overhead.
'…Dear God, sorry to disturb you but…I feel that I should be heard loud and clear…We all need a big reduction in the amount of tears…'
But at night, everything was darkness.
She wanted better days, unlike the gray misery she'd been floating senselessly around in lately.
'…And all the people that you made in your image…See them fighting in the street…Cause they can't make opinions meet…About God…'
It had been a week and she had heard nothing. She tried not to feel despair, but she did anyway. She had taken up smoking again, like she did back in college, and promised herself that once she got the phone call, she would never light another cigarette again. She never slept in the bedroom, she always feel asleep on the couch, with a big, warm, blaze roaring in the fireplace. It was too depressing to be alone in the house to begin with. At least sleeping on the couch made it feel like she was just a visitor, and this was only temporary. She had possibly never felt such despair in her life.
'…Dear God, I don't know if you've noticed but…Your name is in a lot of quotes in this book…Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look…'
How many times has she said that in last ten years? I've never felt such despair…
'…And all the people that you made in your image…Still believing that junk is true…Well I know it ain't and so do you…'
She had awoken from a dream for some reason. The dream had upset her. She hadn't been able to go back to sleep. So now, here she was, standing out in the freezing, pouring rain in the middle of the night, smoking and getting soaked to the bone. She didn't care. The dream had thrown her wide-awake.
'…I won't believe in Heaven and Hell…No Saint's, no sinners, no Devil as well…'
She'd been at the beach house, in the rec room. Her mom was there, Skinner was there, and she knew that Mulder was down on the beach with Cade, building a sandcastle. She heard Alex calling her name, but when she went out on the deck, to find him, she'd been standing on the pier across the lake. She'd been looking back at the cottage she was staying in now.
'…No pearly gates, no thorny crown…You're always letting us humans down…'
Her eyes had jerked open. She'd slowly sat up on the couch and stayed perfectly still. She could have sworn that she'd felt Alex in her mind. That maybe he'd been trying to tell her something.
'…The wars you bring, those babes you drown…Those lost at sea and never found…'
She believed that he was alive. She'd sensed as much from Spender. It's the reason she'd lied to Cooper. He'd left Marie's apartment that night under the impression that Krycek had died as a result of the gunshot wound to his chest. And there was no need for anyone other than the select few of them to know that he was alive. It was better that the NSA, the Syndicate, the Verein, that everyone thought that Alex Krycek was dead. And good riddance, most of them would think.
'…And it's the same the whole world 'round…The hurt I see helps to compound…'
The John Barrymore quote that Spender had flung her way reinforced her belief that Alex was alive.
She had no doubt. If he was free, Alex would find her.
'…That the Father, Son and Holy Ghost…Is just somebody's unholy hoax…'
This whole thing was insane. Scully thought back to when she'd first met Krycek, straight out of the academy, green, and struggling to please everyone. Especially Mulder. Who knew at that time that he'd turn out to be Mulder's brother and the father of her child?
She had become completely disenchanted with life. She longed for better days.
The lyrics were getting to her.
'…And if you're up there, you'll perceive…That my heart's here, upon my sleeve…'
Dana…
Scully jerked on the balcony. Krycek's presence was suddenly very real in her head again.
Alex?
'…If there's one thing I don't believe in…It's you….'
There was nothing and her eyes filled with tears. She could have imagined it.
'…Dear God…'
Her dream popped into her head. The pier.
She was suddenly enveloped in silence, like an invisible shield had gone up around her. She suddenly knew. She was suddenly so sure. She looked across the lake, but couldn't see anything in the dark.
He was at the pier.
Scully didn't stop, didn't think. She ran out into the dark night, stumbling through the trail. The rain pelted against her, branches slapped at her face. The path was slippery and she stumbled and fell down.
She didn't care.
Covered in mud, her arm was bleeding and her leg hurt, she got up and kept running. She realized that she wasn't wearing any shoes, she was only wearing the thin sweats that she'd been sleeping in. Her long hair was wet and stringy, clinging to her face and she whipped it behind her but it didn't matter. She still couldn't see where she was going. Rain, tears, darkness, whatever. Either way, she was blind.
She came to the pier. She could barely see him standing at the end. He was completely drenched, shivering, his arms wrapped around himself. He had a sweatshirt hood pulled over a baseball cap. It didn't matter; it was raining so hard that he could have had on a dozen layers and he still would have been drenched. He was soaked through and shaking. It was dark, but she knew he could see her.
His voice entered her head as he rushed to meet her.
I've been looking for you.
She began to laugh like an idiot as she threw her arms around his neck, nearly knocking him down.
'I knew you'd fine me.' She said.
'And you say you're not psychic.' He replied softly, hugging her back.
She began to cry at the sound of his voice speaking the familiar words.
Krycek rested his chin on top of her head. He didn't know what to say. 'Dana, you're freezing.'
She squeezed her eyes shut, gripping him tighter. She didn't think she could talk.
'They have their damn vaccine.' He said through his chattering teeth. 'It's over.'
She managed to spit out some words. 'Did you see Cade?'
He shook his head and pulled her wet hair behind her.
She leaned back and looked up at him, barely able to make out his features in the dark light.
'He'll be released soon.' Krycek said. 'Colonization won't happen once the aliens realize that we're immune. Jesus, my mouth is frozen. You should feel lucky that I'm too cold to talk as much as normal.'
She laughed through her tears and put her hands on his face. 'You're here.'
He kept his arms around her waist and laughed back. 'So are you.'
They laughed harder. She rested her cheek against his chest and smiled. 'It's been a long time, Alex.'
'Way too long.' He replied, resting his head on hers. They stood that way for a minute, ignoring the rain that showered down on them and the wind that blew freezing air against their skin.
'Dana, you smell like cigarettes.'
'Are you okay?' She put a hand over where he'd been shot.
'Why are you're covered in mud?' He replied, looking down at her. 'Your arm's bleeding.'
'How's the knee, Alex?'
'What are you wearing? You're going to catch pneumonia. Dana, you don't have any shoes on!'
'First of all, Dr. Logan, you don't 'catch' pneumonia.' She said, taking his hands. 'Secondly, when did you become such a mother hen?'
'Was I clucking?' He asked, shaking from the cold.
'Big time.'
'I guess kids will do that to you. Dana?' They walked as quickly as they could throw the downpour.
She looked up at him.
'Please tell me there's beer in your house. I haven't had one in almost a year.'
'You need to ask?' She smiled.
'Corona?' He asked hopefully.
She shook her head. 'Pacifico.'
'Even better.'
She grinned up at him. 'You know what else I got?'
'Tell me hot, running water and some dry clothes and I may just bow down right here in the mud and worship you for the rest of my life.'
'There's hot water, dry clothes.' She said. 'Chips and salsa too.'
He grinned, quoting the Big Bopper. 'Oh baby, you know what I like.'
*************************
They were both lying on the floor in front of the fireplace, facing each other, elbows propping them up, their chins in their hands.
Krycek had just come from the shower. He'd been in there forever. She'd knocked on the door to make sure he was okay.
'You ever coming out?'
'I'm basking.'
Scully had smiled to herself. She remembered when she'd been at her Mom's house after coming home from being imprisoned. She must've stayed in the bath for an hour or so, letting the cool water drain before refilling it again.
She had already changed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and had been brushing her hair in front of the fire, letting it dry. It was getting really long these days. It was nearly two in the morning when Krycek had come out and they'd sat down on the floor with a beer. An old Elvis Costello song was on the radio.
'You look tired.' She said to him.
He grinned. 'I am.'
'You didn't stop on the drive over, did you.' It was more of a statement than a question.
'I didn't need to.'
'A drive across the country and you didn't stop. How many hours was that?'
'I got no idea.'
She looked towards the kitchen. 'You must be starving.'
'I'm too tired to eat.' He held his bottle towards her. 'Beifall.'
'We're not drinking Heinekein, Alex.' She hit her beer against his. 'It's Pacifico. Aclamaciones.'
He grinned before taking a long swallow of his beer. 'Oh my God, that is so good.'
She giggled. 'Drinking like that on an empty stomach? You're going to get drunk.'
'That's just fine.'
'Why don't you go to sleep, Alex?'
'Because it's been a long time, Dana.'
She smiled at him. 'Almost three years.'
'I think sleep can wait for awhile.' He replied. 'We haven't talked in so long.'
'I know.' She said. 'We used to talk all the time.'
'I could never get you to shut up.'
'The last time we talked was when we were arguing.' She said softly. 'When you wanted to leave.'
'I didn't want to leave.' He corrected her. 'I just didn't want to be in the way.'
She shook her head. 'You weren't.'
'You're lying.' He grinned. 'But I'll ignore it for now.'
They fell silent again. Scully was reliving that whole chaotic Thanksgiving that happened years ago. That was the last time they'd actually had a constructive conversation of any kind. They had spun through emotions on the beach, and argued about it the next morning. Then she'd been taken. Then he'd been taken. Then they had busted him out; then they were both taken again.
And now finally, here they were.
'You know, Alex.' She said. 'We never did finish that conversation.'
He met her eyes for a moment before speaking softly. 'Do we really need to?'
A thousand images spun through her mind and she tried to smile after what seemed an eternity of silence between them. 'No.'
'And I was in the way.' Krycek smiled sadly. 'If I hadn't of been around back then, who knows how things would have turned out. Especially for you and Fox.'
She was silent, thinking, reflecting. Pondering. Dwelling.
His voice interrupted her sulking. 'Fox did what he needed to.'
She raised her eyes to his and he continued.
'He did what he thought was right.' Krycek said. 'He knew no harm would come to Cade. He's in charge now. Other than our Father, but Fox has him wrapped around his finger.'
Scully didn't reply. She had known that Mulder wouldn't intentionally harm her, or her son. But she hadn't quite known what to think. Especially after that mess at Marie's house.
'It had been bad enough when he'd started talking about taking Cade.' Scully said softly. 'But when you'd been shot, and he'd done nothing…'
'He had injected me with Halcion when he'd knelt by my side.' Krycek said, his eyes were heavy. 'That's why I passed out so quickly.'
Scully nodded. 'He did the same to me. Did you get a chance to talk to him?'
'He was there when I woke up.' Krycek said, running a hand through his hair. 'I'm afraid I wasn't very brotherly towards him. As a matter of fact, I was an asshole.'
'All that, for Cade.'
Krycek shook his head. 'That wasn't all.'
Scully took another drink of her beer, as if to steel herself from the bad news she could sense was coming.
'He went to Spender to ask what it would take to gain our freedom. Yours and mine.' Krycek looked into the fire for a moment. 'He said he'd do whatever it took. So he agreed to join in the Syndicate.'
Scully closed her eyes. She had thought that's what was coming, but it bothered her nonetheless. 'Mulder always hated everything about that group. It's who he'd always been trying to bring down.'
'On top of working with them to secure the vaccine, to fight against the Rebels and to trick the aliens, he had to supply Cade as well. All they needed was his blood, to map his DNA.'
'Good Lord.' She whispered. 'Why didn't he talk to me?'
'I should have listened to him.' Krycek said in response. 'He was trying to tell me, but I wasn't listening.'
'You were in no condition to think rationally, Alex.' She closed her eyes and rubbed a hand over her face. 'I should have been the one to get a clue. I just wish he would have tried to talk to us about it first.'
'He probably didn't think that we'd react with such hostility.' Krycek said softly. 'He probably thought we'd trust him. That we'd follow his lead.'
'Well, damn.' She said, raising her voice a little. 'We walk into his girlfriend's house to find Cancer Man there. Everyone's trying to get us to turn over Cade. Marie shoots you and Mulder does nothing. What did he expect?'
'Trust.' Krycek shook his head tiredly. 'I don't know. Everything had happened so quickly. I don't think they had much time to plan. And he knew that if he had told us about the deal before getting there, that we would have freaked out and done God knows what. This way, at least he felt like he could have some control over the situation. He could make sure that we were taken care of, and that Cade was taken care of.'
'You were shot, Alex.'
'I was shot well. Marie knows how to shoot.' He grinned. 'I was never in real danger. And once Mulder gave me the injection, I was fine. I was resting.'
'Oh my God.' Scully said, shaking her head. 'Koskie had said something about Marie being the Inter-Service Pistol Champion for a few years at dinner a couple of weeks ago.'
'Mulder knew what he was doing. He had Marie ready, in case I decided to do what I did. You know how I get.' Krycek said, his eyes closed. 'I can't be angry with him for doing what he did. He thought it was right. And I guess it was. He saved us both. He was relieved when he realized it was going to work. He was relieved when he knocked me out.'
'Yes, I got relief from him too.' Scully said softly.
'Because he knew everything was going be fine after. Everything had worked out and he was in control.'
'And now he's working with Spender.'
'Sucketh.'
She smiled at him. 'You always know just what to say.'
'I was-'
'Engineered that way.' She finished with him. 'Yes, I know. I've heard it. Too many times.'
They were silent; she could feel that he was about to fall asleep.
'It has been a long time, Alex. I missed you.'
Krycek opened his eyes and looked at her. He seemed ten years older and ten years younger at the same time. She stared back at him silence before reaching out to trace a scratch on his forehead. She could only guess that it'd come from a branch on their hurried walk back.
'I missed you too, Dana.'
'You look tired.'
'I am tired.' He closed his eyes and laid his head down on his arm. 'So tired.'
She continued to stroke the scratch on his face. 'You gonna sleep here on the floor?'
'Uh huh.' He answered sleepily.
'You want a pillow? A blanket? You want to at least get on the couch?'
'Huh uh.'
She smiled at him. He was already asleep. It had been less than a minute.
*************************
Scully woke up the next day on the couch. She had fallen asleep on the floor too, but had been yanked out of sleep just before sunrise by a horrid nightmare. She had woken up, breathless, her heart racing. Krycek had immediately opened his eyes and looked at her.
'You okay?'
She nodded back at him. 'I'm fine. Nightmare. Go back to sleep.'
He closed his eyes and she covered him up with a blanket, stuffed a pillow under his head, then got the fire going again. She had fallen asleep on the couch.
When she woke up again, she was confused when she saw that the room was empty. For a second she thought she had only dreamt that Krycek had been there. Then she realized that the blanket was covering her, the pillow under her head. The smell of coffee was in the air.
Scully stood up and wandered the small cottage. She saw him sitting outside at the small patio table, drinking coffee and staring over the lake. She poured herself a cup and wandered out onto the deck. He looked her way when she pushed open the sliding glass door.
She smiled, still not believing that he was here after all this time. That they could actually have a normal conversation. Their time in Newport Beach seemed so far away. 'Looks different during the day, doesn't it?'
He smiled at her and kicked the chair across from him towards her. 'Have a seat.'
That statement brought back memories of years ago. A memory of her standing up from her kitchen table, Alex Krycek inside her apartment. She had wanted nothing to do with him. She wanted him to turn around and walk away. Skinner was right next to him; she could have him removed, if she wanted. Alex Krycek…
She thought back to that night. She remembered the odd feeling that had come over her. The feeling that something had changed. Something had happened when she told him to have a seat.
Something important.
Krycek had stared at her, an odd look on his face. She knew that he had felt it too. That he was also aware that something had happened.
Something important.
On the deck in the Greater Seattle Area, Scully smiled at Krycek as she sat down across from him at the patio table. She eyed him with her head tilted to the side. 'You do that on purpose?'
'Do what?'
'You know.'
'Don't think I do.'
'Don't play dumb with me High IQ Man. I ain't falling for it.'
'Gibson will be with Cade.' Krycek said.
Scully frowned at him. 'What made you think of that?'
Krycek smiled. 'High IQ's.'
'Gibson is the only person I know with an IQ higher than yours.'
'Yes, but we don't need to talk about that.'
'What, that Gibson is smarter than you?'
'There's certainly no need to rub it in.'
She laughed. 'What time is it?'
'Two o'clock.'
'Oh my god!' Scully screeched. 'Did we sleep all day?'
'We must have needed it.' He replied. 'I know I did.'
Scully looked over the water and took a sip of her coffee. 'I haven't been sleeping much myself.'
'It's almost over, Dana.'
'Yeah.' She replied. 'We just keep on telling each other that, don't we?'
Krycek looked at her until she met his gaze. He raised his eyebrows and she smiled.
'What?' She asked.
'Nothing.' He replied. 'Just wondering what's going on up there in that red head of yours.'
She looked at him with mock amazement. 'You mean you don't know?'
'I'm starving in a big way.'
'Why haven't you eaten?'
'I was waiting for you.'
'Such the gentleman.' She joked. An idea suddenly came to her. She grinned at him.
'Really?' He asked. 'You wanna?'
'I don't know.' She replied. 'It almost seems too weird.'
'Seems really, really weird to me.' He answered. 'I keep thinking of the last time we were there.'
'You're right.' Scully shook her head. 'Way too weird.'
They were silent for a moment. He looked at her and she grinned.
'Although I wasn't able to have a Hurricane last time.'
*************************
'Am I the only who feel's really weird about this?' Alex asked.
On the way across The New Orleans Café, they passed by the table they'd sat at over three years ago and they looked at each other, remembering.
Spender pulled out another chart and laid it on the table in between the two. 'This is the DNA of your unborn child.'
Krycek suddenly stood up, knocking over the chair in the process, and hastily walked out of the restaurant.
As they sat down at a table in the back corner, they looked at each other and laughed.
'This was where you found out that Cade was yours.' Scully said.
'What a totally screwed up night that was.' Krycek said loudly, trying to talk over the band. They were doing a wonderful cover of B.B. King's 'Ten Long Years'.
It had been ten long years. Ten damn long yours since she had been assigned to the X-Files.
Scully shook her head. 'Do you realize it's been over three years since that night?'
'Doesn't seem like it.'
'That's because we've been separated most of the time.' She said softly.
Krycek met her eyes when the waitress arrived.
While gorging themselves and vegetarian jambalaya and hurricane's, Scully had reminded him that he'd promised her a trip around Pioneer Square when she wasn't pregnant. After dinner he showed her around, club hopping and drinking themselves into oblivion. They wound up on Capitol Hill, in a bar called The Bad Ju Ju Lounge. The inside had flames over the bar, medieval in décor, with bats hanging. They only played racket. Slayer, Pantera, Sepultera, Metallica. They took a booth in the back and drank Fat Tire on tap.
'Alex.' Scully had said drunkenly. 'I don't think I've ever seen you drunk.'
Krycek grinned. 'What's your point?'
'I've seen you drink, but I've never seen you drunk. There's a difference.' She laughed and pointed at him. 'You're really shitfaced. I can tell.'
'Thank you, oh tactful one.'
'It doesn't seem like it's been so long.' Scully said. 'Seems like we were just here, in Seattle.'
'Yeah, I've been shot about four time since then.'
'Mulder's girlfriend shot you good.' She slurred.
'Yes.' He replied. 'She knew exactly what she was doing.'
'Alex.' She said again. 'Mulder moved on with life.'
'I know.' He replied. 'I'm sorry, that must have been hard for you. I'm sure you wanted some kind of closure in your relationship.'
'Yes and no.' She said. 'It had been a long time. Things change. I know that. I'm glad he moved on. It was probably either that or go insane. And he didn't need to be any crazier. But what I meant was, he moved on and you never found anyone. No one.'
'I wasn't looking.' Krycek laughed and looked away. He shook his head. 'I think we're both far too inebriated for this conversation.'
'You're not looking that together, Alex.'
'However,' He said, pointing at her. 'I can still walk. I don't expect the same from you.'
'Oh come on.' She grinned. 'You can tell me.'
He hesitated. 'What was the question?'
'How come you never got a girlfriend?'
'You want the truth?'
'I seek nothing else.'
'The truth?'
She looked around. 'Is there an echo in here?'
'The truth?'
'Cut it out!' She squealed.
He laughed like a little kid, throwing his head back.
'You're evil.' She said.
He reached out to twist her ring around her finger. 'I'm glad you found your ring, Dana. I noticed you were wearing it when it connected with the side of my face.'
'I'm sorry for beating you up, Alex. But you're avoiding the question again. You're so good at that.'
'If you must know.' He said. 'The only person I've ever loved died a few years ago.'
'Alex.' She said, a sad look on her face. 'That's horrible.'
Krycek laughed and stood up from the table. 'Beer?'
'Just one more.' Scully grinned at him. 'And Alex…'
'No.'
'Come on!' She protested.
'No.'
'Just one!'
He shook his head. 'No way.'
'Please?' She smiled and batted her eyelashes at him.
He grinned at her blatant attempt to be cute, then rolled his eyes and walked away. She watched him over at the bar, talking and laughing with one of the bartenders, oblivious of all the stares that women were throwing his way.
He returned and set a beer down in front of her.
She huffed. 'You suck.'
'You know,' he said as he sat down at the table. 'I don't need this abuse.'
She shook her head at him. 'You love it.'
He looked at her slyly and held up a cigarette.
'I knew you couldn't deny me.' She reached for it and he pulled it away.
'The last one.' He said.
'The last one.' She repeated, then gasped in surprise when he stuck two in his mouth and lit them both. 'Alex, I'm appalled at you!'
'The last one.' He reminded her, holding a cigarette to her. 'And only because we're celebrating.'
Her fingers brushed his when she took it from him, their eyes never breaking contact. 'And what are we celebrating?'
Krycek held his beer up and she followed suit. 'The end.' He said.
She shook her head and smiled. 'Not the end, Alex. The beginning.'
'And there goes the maudlin alarm.' He said, knocking his glass against hers.
Scully laughed and looked around the bar, taking a swallow of her beer. 'You know, Alex, with your messed-up hair and black pleather jacket, all the girls keep checking you out. And the cigarette doesn't exactly take away from that whole sexy Bad Boy image you have going on.'
'I have that going on?' He blew out smoke and raised his eyebrows at her. 'Dana Scully, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you just hit on me.'
She tapped her cigarette in the ashtray. Damned if she wasn't blushing. Almost forty years old and blushing. She snuck a glance at him to see he hadn't moved, hadn't averted his eyes. He was just grinning that damn evil grin of his, staring at her through the hazy smoke of their cigarettes. She could see the holy terror he must have been to high school fathers. She could see how any teenage girl would go starry-eyed over him. She could almost see the old Krycek in the look he was throwing her way. But that man didn't exist for her anymore.
He hadn't for a long time.
She returned his gaze, taking a hit off the cigarette. She blew smoke to the side and smiled at him. 'Well, you know, all the girlie's say you're pretty fly.'
Krycek smiled back, holding her eyes with his. He shrugged. 'For a white guy.'
They took a cab back to Pioneer Square to get some veggie dogs from the corner hotdog stand. It was very late and the bars were closing. People were milling around everywhere on the streets and the two of them had struck up a conversation with a young couple in line. They were students of the University and came down here every weekend to blow off steam. The four of them ate their late night snack together and shared some beer. When the couple's cab had arrived, they gave Krycek and Scully a Heineken each and left them sitting on the bench in front of the New Orleans Café.
Krycek opened a can and held it out in her direction, causing a memory to wash over her.
'Brewski's!' Langly exclaimed. 'Flow me a Heinie?'
'Have at it.' Scully said, waving in the direction of the refrigerator.
'I'm impressed.' Krycek said. 'I didn't know that about you.'
'What?' Scully asked.
'That you were a boardhead.'
'I went to Berkeley for my undergrad.' Scully said. 'Spent a lot of time with the surfers in Santa Cruz.'
'Sharky.' Krycek smiled.
'Woofy.' Scully replied.
They had smiled at each other in spite of themselves.
Scully looked over at Krycek, years later, to see him grinning down at her. 'I think that was the first time we ever connected.' He said softly. 'You know what I mean.'
'Yeah. I know what you mean.' She returned his smile and looked over her shoulder, at the sign in the window. 'It always comes down to the New Orleans Café. Who would have thought back then that we'd be here like this? That we would be having a kid together, that we'd run away to hide in Newport Beach, that we'd go through everything we have, that we'd become so close…' She closed her mouth, aware of her rambling.
A moment of silence stretched out and he blinked at her.
'You tired?' She asked softly.
Krycek pondered for a moment before smiling. 'I think I'm still drunk.'
'Can you buy me those one karat diamond earrings tomorrow?'
'I'm not that drunk.'
She laughed, putting her hand on his leg, like she did all those years ago. When the two of them had been sitting on this very same bench, after he'd just found out that the baby was his and couldn't process the fact. 'With you, Alex, one can never be sure.'
Krycek's face suddenly grew serious. He sighed; he seemed upset.
'What's wrong?' She asked softly.
He shook his head. 'I just can't believe we're both here. I missed you, Dana.'
Scully was mortified to find herself on the verge of tears. Again. She went to brush hair out of her face, and he caught her hand. She interlaced her fingers with his and they held hands on the bench between them.
'I missed you too, Alex.' She looked down at their hands. 'More than I thought I could.'
Krycek smiled at her somber gaze. 'I need to say something to you.'
She couldn't reply. She could feel his hesitance and his eyes were unusually serious.
'If nothing else, this whole mess has taught me to not let time slip by. To say things that need to be said. When you were taken, when we thought you were dead, I regretted never telling you.'
She swallowed, trying to calm her nerves. She couldn't imagine why she should be frightened. But she was. 'Tell me what, Alex?'
He took a deep breath and laughed. 'This is going to sound really corny, so bare with me. You were the first friend I ever had, the first person to ever know the real me, to know everything about me. You're the only person who ever bothered to look beyond everything else and accept me. You are the first person to ever love me for who I am.' He hesitated and cleared his throat. 'I believe, I really do, that if you hadn't let me in your apartment that first night, if you hadn't listened and had turned me away, that I would never have become the person I am today. I think I would be dead, one way or another, physically or emotionally. You saved my life. You saved me from myself. And I just wanted you to know. I wanted to thank you.'
She listened to him in disbelief, tears in her eyes. She shook her head. 'I can't even think about how different my life would be if you hadn't shown up that night. You believe that I saved you, but in reality, you saved me. I grew up in a military family with strict rules and regulations to live by. I went off to college and struggled through all new rules and regulations. I went into medical school and the Bureau. I was always fighting against all the chauvinism. I was dry inside. You gave me life. You saved me. You were the first person to ever know the real me, to know everything about me. You are the first person to ever love me for who I am, because I never knew who I was before you came along. You saved me from myself. I think it's me that should be thanking you.'
They regarded each other in deafening silence. The moment stretched out until he reached over and put both of his hands on her face. She closed her eyes as he kissed her on the forehead.
This surprised her. Not only had Krycek kept his distance from her in all the time she'd known him but also the gesture was incredibly familiar. Kissing her on the forehead…It was something she'd used to do when she'd wanted to reach out to Mulder and had been afraid.
Krycek froze, his lips on her forehead and his hands on her face. And in that instant, she knew. He had heard her thoughts, knew what she'd been thinking. It had stopped him cold because it had been the truth.
It had been her that had died a few years ago. She had been too drunk to understand what he had been trying to tell her earlier in the night. She was the only woman he'd ever loved.
She slowly raised her face to meet his eyes; he looked like a deer frozen in headlights.
He managed to smile. 'Don't look so surprised, Agent Scully. I'm sure you already knew that I've been in love with you for a long time.'
Her mouth was slightly open. She didn't know how to respond; she didn't know what to say. Her eyes revealed her astonishment. To hear the words out loud…
'Since when?' She stupidly sputtered.
Krycek ran his fingertips down her cheeks and let them slide of her face. 'Since you told me to have a seat.'
Something had happened when she told him to have a seat.
Something important.
Tears gathered on the end of her lashes. She hadn't known. She had suspected, she had thought, she had almost hoped. But hoping led to other, complicated issues. So she ignored it the same way she had ignored her own feelings. She pushed them away, behind the barrier, then recoiled in surprise when they surfaced from time to time. She had built one hell of a wall around herself in the past decade. Not letting anyone in. Not her family, or her friends. Not even Mulder.
It had surprised her when Krycek somehow managed to find a knothole in her fence to peek through. When her subconscious knocked on her mind to let her know what was happening, she'd immediately reinforced her wall with bricks. She had been protecting herself and protecting Mulder. She had a sense of loyalty to Mulder that she'd never had with anyone else, and she had confused the loyalty and deep friendship for something different.
She had known. She had been aware that Alex was in love with her the same way she'd been aware that she'd fallen in love with him a long time ago. She finally admitted it to herself and everything she'd been trying to do over the past few years, ignoring her feelings, ignoring his feelings, ignoring the truth, it all stopped. It all became clear.
The wall finally fell down.
She could barely get the words out; she was trembling so badly it affected her speech. 'I'm sure you already know I feel the same.'
'I didn't know.' He whispered. 'I suspected. But I had no right to feel the way I felt or to wish you would feel the same.'
'You had every right.' She touched her own shaking hands to his face. 'It's not something we control.'
'I tried to control it.' He said, leaning his head into her hand. 'I didn't want to get in the way. I wanted you to be happy.'
She shook her head and leaned towards him. 'You make me happy.'
He smiled. He looked into her eyes. He said the words, just to make sure. 'I love you.'
She shook her head and leaned her forehead against his. 'I love you.'
Their lips hovered an inch away from each other as he placed his hands on her cheeks.
Scully closed her eyes as he brought her face close and pressed his lips against hers. Her mind was suddenly washed in sensation. She could feel what he was feeling and it was remarkable. Their lips parted and met again.
She could feel his love for her, his desire for her. She could feel everything that he'd ever felt for her. In response, she was certain that her own feelings were cascading into his head. She could feel them back. He put his hands on her waist to pull her closer and in response, she slid her hands into his hair.
Their lips met again. He plunged his hands into her hair and tilted her head to the side. She opened her mouth and their tongues met.
They were both trembling. She didn't know if it was from desire or emotion; all she knew was that she had never felt anything like it before.
'Jeez, people.' A voice interrupted, someone walking by. 'Get a room.'
Their lips parted and they looked in each other eyes.
They both laughed.
*************************
The ringing jolted them both out of sleep. They were tangled together. Scully reached for the phone on the nightstand and fell right over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. Krycek's head popped over the side as she sat up with the phone in her hand.
'Where's the phone?' She stood up, a sheet wrapped around her. 'Where's the phone?'
He reached out and put a hand over hers, the one clutching the Nokia. 'It's in your hand.'
She shook her head distractedly and flipped it open. 'Yes?'
His eyes were alert as he stared at her.
She met his gaze, disbelief stamped on her face. 'Mom?' Tears popped up in her eyes as she listened. After a few moments of chatter, she hung up and looked at him, smiling. 'Four hours.'
His own grin poured over his face.
'Marymoor Park. On the pier at Lake Sammamish. In the marsh section of the Interpretive Trail.' She said, sitting on the edge of the bed. 'Do you know where that is?'
He nodded, taking her hand and pulling her towards him. 'I do.'
Scully leaned towards him. She smiled before kissing him deeply. In response, he pulled her closer. She laughed and pushed him away before standing up, grinning happily.
'I think it's over.'
'It is for us.' He smiled sadly. He didn't need to elaborate.
She tilted her head to the side, thinking. 'Everything will work out. Everything always does.'
He threw a pillow at her. 'Isn't that my line?'
'You know, maybe I am psychic.' She smiled brilliantly. As she strode towards the bathroom, she let the sheet fall away from her. 'Because I'm getting the feeling that you want to wash my hair.'
He hesitated, watching her walk into the next room, then suddenly went after her.
'Oh baby, you know what I like.'
*************************
'What are we going to do after this?' Scully asked as they reached the edge of the pier and sat down on a bench.
'I don't know.' He smiled down at her as she rested easily against his side. 'What will come, will come, and we'll just have to meet it when it does.'
'Damn Taoism…' Scully looked up into Krycek's suddenly apprehensive face. 'You okay?'
He nodded in response. 'I'm just, I don't know, nervous or something. It's been a long time. What if he doesn't remember me?'
'Alex.' She admonished, resting a hand on his leg. 'Of course he remembers you.'
Krycek regarded her for a minute before shaking his head. 'Look at your hair.'
'What?'
'It's so long.' He pushed it behind her shoulder.
She smiled at him and he returned the grin. Silence stretched out. A boat drifted close, blasting 'Teenage Dirtbag' by Wheatus. They mentally shared an image of standing on the deck of the beach house in the middle of the night while that song drifted up to them from a radio down on the beach. She'd been upset, as usual, and confused by her feelings.
They suddenly looked at each other. They both felt him. Cade saw her first.
'Mommy!'
Krycek stood up as Scully took her son into her arms. Gibson was just behind Cade and Skinner and Maggie jogged up behind them.
'Alex!' Maggie exclaimed, giving him a huge hug.
Cade saw his father and screeched. 'Daddy!'
Scully let go of him and Krycek scooped him up. She put her hands over her mouth. She suddenly couldn't breathe. She had never seen the two of them together and had no idea that it would affect her this way.
Maggie grabbed Scully in an embrace, but she could barely pay any attention to it. 'You okay, Dana?'
Skinner put his arms around her as well. 'I don't believe I've ever seen you so speechless.'
'Sir?' Scully asked, trembling. 'What are you doing here? What about Gibson's family?'
'First of all, Dana, I have nowhere else to be. Secondly, Gibson has never had a family.'
She looked over at Gibson for a moment. 'He does now.'
Gibson smiled as she gave him a hug. He looked up at her.
It's over.
Scully looked at Krycek. He and Cade were visiting with each other, smiling. Krycek had tears in his eyes. She walked over to them and Cade reached out to her. She took his hand and kissed it before giving him another peck on the head.
Cade smiled, looking between his Mom and Dad. 'We're all here.'
Scully and Krycek met each other's eyes as that statement settled in their heads. They'd never all been together before. The pieces fell into place. Everything suddenly made perfect sense.
'…I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby…Come with me Friday don't say maybe…'
Scully stared to laugh. He reached out and brushed tears out from under her eyes, laughing with her. He left his hand on her cheek. They had wasted enough time, lost enough life.
'…I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you…'
The wall was down for good.
She remembered all those years ago. She did what she'd wanted to do last time they'd heard this song. She put a hand on his face and leaned up to kiss him. He met her halfway.
End Part Eight
Continued in Part Nine.
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