Disclaimers in Part One.
There was another harsh knock on the door, but Mulder sat on the couch, concentrating his gaze on the flickering lights coming from the TV. He had been sitting like that for several hours now and had no intentions of turning it off. It made him feel less alone.
When the banging on the door suddenly stopped, Mulder turned his head, mostly out of curiosity, to see if whoever it was was still out there. The shadow underneath the door confirmed his suspicion. Sighing heavily, he rose to open it, though he didn't put much effort into rushing. The fact that it was the middle of the night hadn't occurred to him. His "friends" always chose to visit him at peculiar hours.
About to place his hand on the handle, an unexpected knock made him wince. Irritated by the involuntary move, he swung the door open, adding a touch of anger. The hostile words that had formed on his lips died at the sight of the uninvited guest and Mulder froze with a dumbstruck expression.
"Are you letting me in, or are you going to wait until your neighbors start complaining?"
The calm but harsh voice belonged to Alex Krycek.
Mulder didn't budge, still surprised to see Krycek standing there.
Krycek spoke again, this time less patient. "Are you letting me in or do you want me to make a scene? I'm sure your neighbors would love that."
Mulder stepped aside, not wanting to add another demerit to the eviction list his landlord probably kept on him.
Krycek walked past him. "You've been busy, I see." He looked around the dark apartment, not surprised to find himself standing in a mess.
I doubt you came here to give me cleaning advice," Mulder snorted, making Krycek turn toward him.
Big mistake.
The sight of Mulder's nonchalant posture against the still-open door turned his knees into Jell-O and he had to brace himself against the nearest wall to keep from falling.
Gathering himself, he managed to speak. "I thought you wanted to spare your neighbors a scene?" He nodded toward the door.
Mulder gave the door a light push and it closed. "What do you want?" Walking past Alex, he went back into the apartment.
"We need to talk." Krycek followed him.
"About?"
"Us," Krycek answered, not seeing any point in beating around the bush.
"That should make this conversation very short, then."
Even if Mulder's reply was harsh, there was something in his voice, an uncertainty that made it pretty clear he didn't believe that.
"You selfish bastard!" Krycek burst, taking a step closer. "Don't tell me what happened between us in the car didn't mean anything to you!"
Krycek searched for eye contact but failed as Mulder persisted in staring at the floor. Instead, he waited for him to reply. At first, Mulder didn't move, and for a while, Krycek started to believe the man had fallen asleep standing.
Mulder rubbed his tired face, feeling the two-days'-old stubble tickle his palms. He couldn't believe how Krycek could even insinuate that what happened between them in the car didn't matter to him, because it did. More than he wanted to admit. He had been the one tossing all these accusations around and lecturing Krycek about trust, how everything came down to honesty while he was the biggest hypocrite of them all. It wasn't easy swallowing your pride, not after all this time.
Damn you, Mulder why can't you say anything? Krycek's mind screamed, agonized by his silence. Throw me out, say it's over, just don't make me feel this unimportant… just say you love me…
Krycek closed his eyes, not wanting to give up hope but he was afraid hope had given up on him. He had lost Ben and then he had lost Mulder too, just because of one stupid little lie, and he was afraid that if Mulder asked him to leave, he would lose Scully as well.
Mulder raised his head to meet Krycek's eyes but found them closed. He stared intensely at the face of the man he had loved and adored and still did. Gradually, Mulder came closer, frightened of what would happen if Krycek opened his eyes. Would he have to see his eyes mirroring the pain and hurt he felt and had caused?
As the space between them narrowed, Mulder felt his heart beat faster by the minute and the blood in his veins rush through him with such acceleration it made him light-headed. Close enough to cup his face in his hands, he kissed him.
Krycek could only squeeze his eyes more shut when he suddenly felt Mulder's lips enclose his own so carefully, it almost went unnoticed. If Mulder hadn't put more strength into it, the kiss could have easily been taken for a "Good-bye, we're still friends, I never want to see you again" kiss. For a moment Krycek stood, completely and utterly incapable of returning the motion. It felt as though Mulder was sucking the life straight out of him, and all he could do was stand there and let it happen.
Mulder's tongue was making its way around his mouth, brushing over his teeth and tongue, devouring every inch of him. God, he had wanted to do this since they had parted at the rescue station in Quebec.
Swallowing Krycek's small whimpers he deepened the kiss, sucking mercilessly on his lips, enjoying the taste. Their kiss became an act of desperation, the taste of each other a need and a reminder of what had been and could be once again.
Pulling back, Mulder let his hands wander past Krycek shoulders and down his spine, feeling his muscles flex beneath his touch. He stopped right above his ass and dared Krycek to move.
With a defiant look in his eyes, Krycek did what was expected of him, working his hips toward Mulder, hearing him swallow a moan. As he did it again, Mulder's hands grabbed his ass in one swift motion, keeping him right in the place he wanted him.
Krycek inhaled sharply at the jolt going through his body when their groins met. Slowly and rhythmically, he started to move against him again, teasing him, enjoying shamelessly the sound of Mulder's quickening breath and the feel of his desire. Then, with his hands stroking Mulder's sternum, he managed to wriggle himself out of his grasp and sink down to his knees.
Full of expectation, Mulder watched, and felt, how with feathery light touches Krycek fumbled with the buttons to his jeans, unbuttoning one at a time, and in between, he stroked Mulder's painfully hard cock through the fabric of his pants. Mulder emitted one trembling groan after another and tossed his head back, feeling the frustration he had been storing inside threaten an early release.
The final button gave way and Krycek was just about to squeeze his hand under the hem of the boxers when he felt a pair of strong arms grab him by the shoulders and pull him up, only to toss him down on the couch. Krycek was surprised and aroused by the sudden move. He was glad to know that Mulder hadn't stopped wanting him. Before he had a chance to collect himself, Mulder was on top of him, pushing him further down the couch, trying desperately to get his pants out of the way while he sucked and nibbled Krycek's throat and neck. He gave Mulder a helping hand and it didn't take long before his pants and boxers were down at his knees.
"Lube," Krycek whispered, his voice barely carrying his thought. "In my coat pocket."
Mulder dug into Krycek's coat pocket and found the tube and opened it so that he could smear the content over his fingers.
With one hand around Krycek's straining cock, Mulder let his other hand concentrate on his tight ass. Krycek sank his teeth into his lip, trying to prevent a groan from escaping him as he felt two of Mulder's fingers penetrate and prepare him.
"Do it!" he said through clenched teeth, his voice barely audible from arousal.
The grip around his cock eased and he felt Mulder's fingers leave him, only to return with a rich amount of new lube. Shortly after, Mulder pushed inside, burrowing his entire length inside him. Mulder paused to give Krycek a minute to adjust, but Krycek wanted things differently. He pushed back, ignoring his own arousal to give Mulder what he wanted and what he needed himself. Mulder more or less slammed his body into him, hoping the impending orgasm would exorcise all his demons that had anything to do with Krycek's past.
Meeting Krycek halfway, one thrust was enough to bring him over the edge and he came, screaming his name. As his orgasm started to abate, he sank his head, leaning it on Krycek's shoulder, sobbing quietly into his T-shirt.
*************************
Sweaty and sticky, they hadn't moved from their place on the floor next to the couch, except for a change of position. Krycek sat with his back against the couch and Mulder's back leaned against his chest. Not a word had been spoken, only some friendly cuddling had taken place. When Krycek hadn't felt Mulder move in a long time, he spoke with a slight worry.
"Hey, you're not falling asleep on me, are you?"
Mulder smiled, knowing that as long as he sat with his back against him, there was no way he could tell whether he was asleep or not, so he kept quiet.
"Hey, come on!" Krycek urged, shaking him with care, unprepared to see Mulder turn with one of his typical grins. "That wasn't funny. You are a heavy man, Mulder, and I wouldn't want to carry you down to the car."
"I'd like to see you try!" Mulder challenged, hurting Krycek's pride in the process. "By the way, are we going somewhere? I can't recall making any plans except for a few hours of sleep before I have to go to work."
"We're going home… you are coming home with me, aren't you?" Krycek's voice had turned insecure and his eyes followed the same path when Mulder stayed serious, until he couldn't keep a straight face anymore.
Krycek didn't look amused.
"Relax, Alex," Mulder assured, stroking his cheek.
"We should probably hurry, then," he stammered. "Dana is most likely wondering where I went, since I didn't bring my cell phone and yours is probably turned off."
"You didn't tell her where you were going?"
"If you haven't noticed, Mulder, it's in the middle of the night and normal people are asleep."
"You didn't consider that I might have been asleep?"
"I said 'normal' people, Mulder."
Mulder turned to him with a smile and leaned in for a kiss that sent chills down Krycek's spine. "C'mon, let's get going." He rose from the floor, giving Krycek a helping hand.
*************************
I watch them sit over by the couch. Mulder is resting comfortably against Krycek's chest, his head cuddled into his neck. I smile. They look adorable.
Krycek takes his hand just to hold it and takes him closer. Mulder nuzzles his neck, placing a row of kisses along his jawline. They end up in an innocent kiss. It makes me feel so good to see them like this, happy. Together.
They whisper something to each other and smile. Krycek smoothes a lock of hair out of Mulder's face, telling him something serious. Mulder gives him another kiss, lingering on his lower lip.
I walk up to them, still smiling. When they see me, they move apart to make room for me between them. Mulder takes my body against his and moves closer to Krycek again so he can put his arm around him. I lean in to kiss Krycek, smiling at him. He places a hand under my jaw and deepens the kiss.
"Happy?" I ask him.
He looks at Mulder, then back at me, his smile shining from every part of his face.
"Extremely," he says.
I lean back against Mulder, feeling him nuzzle my hair. My entire body shivers from delight and I move to look up at him. In his eyes, I see what he's thinking. I always do.
"Welcome back." I smile and lean in for a kiss.
*************************
Alex and Scully are making themselves ready for bed and I can hear their small talk in the bathroom. It's soothing to hear, comforting to know that they're close.
"Are you done in the bathroom, Mulder?" Alex asks me as he and Scully come to the bedroom.
"Yeah." I nod and put the file on the nightstand.
He closes the door and starts unbuttoning his shirt. Scully crawls up next to me in bed and makes her way under the sheets. I can feel her naked leg brushing against my own and it feels wonderful.
"God, I'm tired," she says with a smile, and cuddles closer to me.
Folding my arm around her, I nuzzle her hair and take her closer. She lets out a sigh and I can see her smile, content.
Having stripped to his boxer shorts, Alex makes his way to the bed, too, and I can't help but watch him close up to me. He's still just a little bit nervous around me, even though I've told him I won't leave him again.
"Come, Alex." I smile and reach out a hand toward him. "Lie next to me."
He smiles shyly and crawls up beside me. His body feels good against mine, and I fold my free arm around him to take him closer.
I am living again
*************************
It's not until that he moves that I realize that my eyes are open. I'm watching him, afraid that when I wake up it will all have been a dream. The middle of the bed is usually Dana's place, but tonight it's Mulder's.
I have been listening to the softness of his breathing and I can't begin to describe how it makes me feel, the special way it rocks me to sleep. He moves again, this time stealing a part of my pillow and as he doesn't get all of it, he grunts from disappointment in his sleep. But I'm not giving it up. To get my pillow, he has to put up a fight.
I feel the heat his body is emitting. The soft tunes of a lullaby in his breathing have almost managed to get me halfway to dreamland by now. I cling to him, making sure my arm is locked safely around him, so I can assure myself of his presence in the morning. This time, I'm not letting go; he stays. The satisfied expression of our sleeping Dana next to him tells me she is dreaming the same.
Before I let the tiredness take over, I lean my head closer to his, kissing the mass of hair, mumbling into it the words that for so long have been drifting. "I love you, Fox…"
Now my eyelids feel like lead, and I slowly fall asleep, letting go of what has seemed to be an era of despair.
The End
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