Title: 3's A Charm:
Malgre lui
Authors: Ocean Summers and
Sage O'Neil
E-Mail: sageo@hotmail.com
"Agent Scully, I've heard a lot about you."
As he offered her his hand she made the mistake of looking in to his eyes. They were cold, even though his voice made an attempt to be friendly. It felt unnatural.
She made an effort to smile and not look bothered. This was ridiculous, it was Krycek's partner and he wasn't anyone who would likely harm her.
"Krycek says you help him a lot, eh?"
"Yes," she said. "We've tried our best."
Looking over at Krycek, she could see how glad he was to introducing them. She understood that it was important for him that they got along and that Mulder didn't carry any grudge towards him anymore.
"I heard you were a key player in solving the Palmera case last year. That was good work," Mulder said.
She listened to them talk about the case for a couple of minutes, fighting with herself to be reasonable. It wasn't like her to judge someone like this, before she knew him or her but she had a bad feeling about this guy. The way he looked at her when he spoke to her, his whole being. It was something she couldn't put her finger on, something she would have to get over. She was being silly.
"Well, I need to get up and fix some things at my desk," Cardinal smiled at the both of them. "You coming Krycek?"
"Yeah, soon," he told him and nodded towards Mulder. "I just need a second here."
"OK, I'll see you later then."
Krycek made sure he'd left before he turned to his lovers.
"So - what do you think?"
"He seems OK," Mulder said. Krycek made sure that Mulder had quickly gotten over any jealousy he might have had towards Cardinal.
"Yeah," Scully agreed, not feeling the need to tell him about her reaction. "I'm glad this is working out for you."
He looked so happy she could have kicked herself for being paranoid. That wasn't even her area of expertise. Looking over at Mulder, she knew he really meant what he said. He didn't seem to hold anything against the guy and if he could accept him, so could she.
"I'm so relieved you liked him," he said taking Scully's hand. "That means so much to me."
She looked at him and forced a smile.
*******************Mulder was well aware of the rumors that were circulating in the Bureau, he just never thought he'd be affected in the way that he was. After all, they were just rumors. Still, he wished he hadn't overheard that conversation in the men's room.
"I wonder how 'Spooky' is taking it," Agent Samuels smiled
He was a smart-ass kid who'd graduated straight into the VCS. Mulder didn't exactly like him.
"Well, how would you feel if you found out that your [only two] friends were sleeping together?" Agent Melhorn commented and Mulder sensed that he wasn't exactly getting any pity from him either.
"It's so obvious, I don't really get why they're still keeping it a secret," Samuels mused.
"Yeah, now she could actually get a reputation to be proud of, and wipe off that old 'spooky mark'."
Everybody joined in the laughter.
"Maybe-" Agent Anderson started as someone came in to the bathroom, catching everybody's attention.
"Agent Krycek," Anderson drawled. And Mulder squirmed inside his booth.
"What's up?" Krycek wondered, walking up to join in the conversation.
Come on, I got things to do. Mulder was growing impatient. I really need to get out of here.
"Why don't you tell us what's up," Samuels said and Krycek figured where this was leading.
"What are you talking about," he tried the innocent version. Denial.
"About you and Agent Scully," Samuels said smiling towards the others. "Want to tell us about that?"
Alex, sweety. Just get out of there.
"There's nothing going on between Scully and me. We're just friends."
"C'mon," Anderson said. "Give us some credit here Alex."
Tell them to mind their own business. Mulder closed his eyes and tried not make any noise. This was getting really awkward.
"Please guys," Mulder could hear that he was smiling. "I don't know where you're getting that from."
That's good. Keep going like that.
"Well, it could have something to do with all those lunches you two are taking together," Melhorn pointed out.
"Or all those mornings you arrive together," Samuels filled in.
Mulder fought the urge to sigh.
"As I said. We're friends," Krycek repeated.
"Friends?" came a little doubtful.
"Yeah Friends."
What, are you slow or something? He says they're friends. What's your problem?
"Well, what ever you say Alex."
They still weren't buying it.
"Just for the record. I think you look great together."
He could hear Krycek sigh and knew he was still persistent on the fact that they were only friends.
"Yeah, Scully's OK," Samuel commented. "She's just been cooking in the wrong camp so to speak."
There was a turn of the mood in the room. Krycek had stared the guy out and Mulder could almost feel it from where he was sitting.
"Well, good luck, with-- everything," Anderson said before they walked out of there, sensing that it wasn't worth going any further.
Mulder stayed in his booth until he was ready, trying to fight back the feeling of awkwardness. How come he felt as if he was standing in their way. Maybe because he realized that he actually was. Without him, their relationship would be so much easier.
*******************The next afternoon, the AD.'s secretary showed Krycek and Cardinal into his office. Entering they found Skinner talking with another agent.
"You're here," Skinner said. "I want you to meet," he gestured towards the man in the black Armani suit, who turned to give Krycek the surprise of his life. "Benjamin Julien,"
The agent offered them his outstretched hand.
"Agent Julien, these are Agents Krycek and Cardinal."
Cardinal shook his hand, making Krycek reluctantly do the same.
"Alex, long time no see," Agent Julien smiled.
"You two know each other?" Cardinal asked.
"We met at Quantico," Krycek stated short.
"We were assigned to each other for a couple of years before the Bureau's basement rat helped him out on a case," there was a slight note of sarcasm in his voice.
With clenched jaws, Krycek looked at him with hatred in his eyes.
Skinner didn't bother to object to Agent Julien's remark. Instead he continued. "Agents Krycek and Cardinal, you are going to assist Agent Julien in a stake out."
He handed Krycek a file from his desk to flip through. As Krycek skimmed the text he got a strong feeling he'd heard about this before. Mulder had been talking about it. A man who had killed five 17-20 year old women over the course of three months. All the victims found with their eyes cut out. It sure looked like something down his alley. Of course, the suspicions of satanic involvement were only brushed over as a very unlikely theory.
"The file contains everything you need to know so I suggest that you read it carefully. Any questions?"
"Yeah--" Krycek said sounding a little confused. "I think that this case is already being investigated by some other agents."
Skinner didn't quite follow. "And who would that be?"
"Uh--," he looked through it once more to be sure. "I believe Agent Mulder mentioned something about this to me earlier this week. He and Agent Scully was investigating this."
"Agent Mulder?" Skinner mumbled and rubbed his chin. "I'll check that out."
Krycek felt Ben observing him, as Skinner reached for his phone to ask his secretary to call Agent Mulder. He talked to him for a while, obviously irritated over the fact that he had started an investigation without getting it authorized. Not that he was really surprised.
Skinner sighed as he listened to his agent's excuses. This was growing into a bad habit and he really did not enjoy it.
"I just needed something more concrete to back it up with before I requested the case," Mulder tried to explain, knowing that Skinner wasn't pleased.
"Well, there's another agent on the case. You'll have to drop it," he paused. "And then I would like to see you in my office as soon as possible."
Mulder sighed.
"May I ask who that agent is, sir?" Mulder was not very happy with this news. "I mean, this is a typical X-file, nothing one of your regular agents would want to deal with."
"Well, obviously someone did want to waste their time on this," Skinner knew where this was heading. "I'm sure you can find plenty of other cases to keep you occupied."
Mulder couldn't help but notice the ironic undertone in Skinner's voice.
"Or I could help with the case," he suggested, already sensing that Skinner would object. "Sir, the only reason I didn't get to you sooner was because I didn't have enough to back it up with. Obviously there is a case here and since I have the background in these-- types of cases, I think I could be of some help."
Skinner sighed again.
"Sir, I've put a lot of work in on this, I think I can solve it." He felt as if he was begging.
There was a pause as Skinner looked over at the little group of three. He had wondered why Agent Julien had asked for Krycek. Krycek didn't have a background in these types of cases apart from his work with Mulder. Mulder would have been more understandable, if it wasn't for the fact that he seemed to shun the other agents. His expertise could be needed in this particular case.
"OK, Agent Mulder," he said flatly. "I'll sign you and Scully up for the surveillance."
Surveillance? Of course, this was what working with the boys meant. Stay with it, you're on a roll.
"I'll let her know," he felt a smile crack.
Never failed to surprise him. Mulder always thought he could get away that easy.
"Agent Mulder, I still want you to get up here when you get the chance," he said, letting his younger agent know that he wasn't being nice for fun. "I can fill you in when you come."
From Skinner's side of the conversation the other agents understood what was going on. Krycek had a hard time hiding his positive reaction. He was really looking forward working with Mulder again; he'd missed it. It certainly improved the situation with Ben.
Waiting for the elevator, Krycek announced that he had some errands to run and he'd meet up with them later.
"Where are you heading?" Agent Julien wanted to know.
"Down to Agents Mulder and Scully," he answered, not gracing him with a look.
"Mind if I come along Alex?"
Krycek shrugged. "What ever pleases you." He tried to keep occupied with the file. There was an uncomfortable silence and he wished the elevator would hurry up.
"Alex, this came as a surprise to me too."
"Great," he sneered turning his attention back to the file. Feeling a hand on his shoulder he fiercely shrugged back, speaking through clenched jaws. "Don't touch me again!"
"Then stop ignoring me!" Julien tore the file away from him.
"The sooner this is over, the better," Krycek ripped it back.
"Alex-"
"No! The only reason we're standing here is because of this case. I intend to do my job and after that we're through. Understood?"
"Don't you ever think about me?" Looking deeply into Krycek's eyes, Julien wetted his lips.
The same way Krycek remembered.
"No, I don't."
"Oh, come on," he put his hand back on Krycek's shoulder. "Don't tell me you've forgotten already."
Krycek stared back at him, his gaze stone cold. He wasn't walking in to that trap again, ever.
*******************Scully sighed as he leaned back in his chair with a smug expression painted on his face.
"What are you so happy about, you hate surveillance," she asked, not understanding why he'd been so persistent in holding on to this case. "I don't understand why this case is so important for you."
"It isn't," he smiled. "I just didn't feel like letting it go after all the work we'd put down in it."
She gave him a doubtful look.
"But surveillance?"
He was just about to answer when the office door swung open and Krycek entered followed by another agent.
"Krycek," Scully greeted surprised.
"Hi guys."
"What owes us this pleasure?" Mulder joked.
Krycek smiled. Of course he didn't know that they were going to work together on this.
"Well, I thought I'd come down and prepare you two for your little meeting with Skinner."
Mulder looked at Scully surprised.
"How--How did you know that?" he choked, wondering if Krycek was withholding some psychic abilities.
Of course it had a very natural explanation.
"Cause I was standing there when he called you," Krycek smiled, meeting his hazel eyes. "I'm assigned to the case, so-- I guess we'll be working together again."
"You opened the case?" Mulder didn't follow.
Krycek shook his head and was about to introduce the man standing next to them when Ben beat him to the task.
"I did," he stepped forward giving the agents a better view of himself as he reached out his hand to properly introduce himself. "Agent Ben Julien."
This man was very handsome. He had dark hair and very similar eyes to Mulder's. Every line in his face built in to perfection, his nose, his lips, and even his jaw. He looked young, about the same age as Krycek, Mulder mused.
"What about Cardinal?" Mulder wondered. He couldn't have changed partner just like that.
"He's on this too," Krycek nodded. "Agent Julien didn't have a partner so Skinner put us on the case."
Julien felt Mulder's suspicion as he looked back at him.
"You don't have a partner?"
"Uh-- no. I'm still working on that," he smiled and glanced at Krycek.
Krycek ignored him. An awkward silence filled the room.
"Well, I need to get going now," Ben with another short glance at Krycek. "Nice to meet you."
Mulder nodded, looking less [than] exhilarated about the meeting. Something was not right with this picture.
"I guess we'll see you later then," Scully said, noting Mulder's turn of mood.
Ben gave her a quick nod, only graced Mulder with a short look and smiled at Krycek before he made his exit.
*******************Dinner was served rather late as usual and take out was always a first choice. Krycek had been trying to find a way to tell them about Ben all damn day and now he was pretty sure he knew how to break it to them. He didn't just want to just spit it out, knowing how easily Mulder got jealous and hating to see him hurt.
"Dana, Mulder," he said carefully, receiving their attention. "I think there is something I should tell you before we start working on this case."
Scully flashed him a warm smile. "What Alex?"
He gave Mulder a quick glance, so far so good. "It's about Agent Julien," he took a pause to breathe before continuing. "Before I helped Mulder with a few cases Agent Julien and I were partners."
Scully looked at him a bit surprised that he hadn't mentioned that before.
"You had a partner?" Mulder joked, to lighten things up.
Krycek couldn't help but smile at his remark. "Yeah, I had a partner. But that's not the main story here." He glanced between his lovers, summoning the courage to tell them. "During our time together we --" he waved his hand in the air to try and make them understand. It wasn't really working. "We took our partnership to another level."
"You became lovers" Scully stated.
"Yeah," he replied, looking at Scully, who, to his relief, kept her calm.
Mulder's facial expression had stiffened.
"So what happened between you?" she asked, not having missed Mulder's reaction.
He met her eyes.
"I loved him, he meant everything to me and I believed I meant everything to him until the day I found out he'd been two timing. I was ready to forgive him a week later, of course he knew that too, but he hadn't been expecting me that day. I walked in on him and a mutual friend of ours. I moved out the same day and put in a request for a transfer," he paused, wondering what they were to think of this. "I was so taken aback when I entered Skinner's office seeing him standing there with that same smug grin he had the last time I saw him."
Mulder, who had been sitting quiet for quite some time, finally spoke.
"Did he request you on this?"
"I don't know." He was glad Mulder finally said something. "He claims he didn't but with Ben-- I just don't know what he's up to."
Scully looked at Mulder, knowing he wasn't going to ask Krycek what was on his mind. She'd better do it.
"Do you think he came here for you?"
He could see how Mulder was fighting with his jealousy as he waited for the answer.
"I don't know, maybe." He didn't want to lie to them, he knew Ben too well. "But it doesn't matter," He took Mulder's hand over the table and forced him to look meet his eyes. They softened by his own calm gaze but he could still detect a worry that lay underneath
*******************Later that evening when Krycek and Scully were in the shower together, Mulder had time to muse over Agent Julien. The more he thought of how handsome he was, with that well combed black hair and slight tan, the more he could picture him and Krycek together. He didn't like this at all, them working together so closely. It was always hard when it came to former lovers, especially when they had meant something special. This would be a long couple of days.
He had a pretty good idea of what had been going on in the bathroom the last fifteen minutes, they'd been hinting for him to come with them. But for the first time it didn't occur to him to join them.
*******************"Do you think he's angry with me for not telling sooner?" Krycek asked, turning off the water.
"No, I just think he needs to get use to the idea of really loving someone," she let him help her out of the shower.
"That shouldn't be so hard when you're there to remind him." Krycek smiled devilishly as he approached her and with a swift motion lifted her onto the sink.
"You're a bad boy," she grinned, tempting him.
"You mean that?" he said hopefully, preventing her answer by nibbling her lower lip.
"You keep it up-"
He shut her up with a deep kiss as he spread her legs a little wider. Her hands were now traveling down his spine, feeling strong muscles against her small fingers, her nails leaving red marks all over.
"Oh God, you smell so good," for the second time he felt his desire address her.
Trying to speak he found that he could just groan hearing his sounds of pleasure mix with her quickened breaths. Her body, already damp from the shower, exposed no moist marks from his kisses as his lips found one of her nipples to tease with his tongue and lips. She tilted her head back, feeling his swollen lips indulge her hardened nipple, sucking with passion. With strong arms she felt him move her closer to the edge of the sink.
"Oh Alex, yes-" she moaned, pushing him closer to her craving body. "I want you now-" she leaned forward impatiently, tickling his naked broad shoulder with her hair.
"Now?" he teased hoarsely.
"Yes, now!" she gasped.
He moved her smoothly off the sink onto his own aching hardness; seconds felt like minutes, before her dark world took him in, embracing him perfectly. She crossed her legs around his waist, hard, not wanting the perfect moment to be lost. His hips worked her into a frenzy and she came screaming his name. He joined her shortly after.
Still clinging to each other, they sensed the stillness that surrounded them slowly strengthening their bodies.
*******************When they went into the bedroom Mulder had already fallen asleep, lying with his back towards them. Krycek crawled up next to him, slipping one arm around his slim waist.
"Fox?" he whispered, receiving in reply a strange sound he took as a grunt. "We missed you in there." He knew that he wasn't asleep. "I missed you. I missed your hands smoothing over my back, your lips against mine, I missed the way only you can touch me…" the sentence slowly died out.
Mulder had planned on not answering him but couldn't resist.
"If you keep on talking like that, you won't get any sleep tonight," he said, turning over to face his male lover.
"Had you been planning on sleeping?" Scully asked, pushing Mulder on his back and straddling him.
They looked at each other and smiled.
*******************The sun had gone down hours before they arrived at the surveillance house. It was just as dark inside as it was outside. Curtains covered the windows and they had to turn on all the lamps in order to see.
"This looks OK," Agent Julien said, looking at Krycek who shrugged in agreement.
"Who takes the first watch?" Cardinal inquired.
"Why don't we?" Krycek cut in, looking at Cardinal, hopeful that he and Ben wouldn't end up together.
"Sure," Cardinal replied.
"Since we're uneven I'll join the two of you," Ben said.
Mulder clenched his jaw. Scully noticed and graced him with a calming gaze to still his jealousy.
"OK, Krycek, Cardinal and I take the night shift and you, Scully and Mulder, take the day shift. A brief report on what needs to be done before the two of you turn in, OK?"
They looked around at the on a dreary scene in the harsh light. It held an oak table, just in front of a couch that seemed to me made out of wood and hard uncomfortable cushions. …A candle was places near the surveillance cameras by the covered windows. On the TV table was an elaborate tape recorder with a set of headphones.
Ben made sure everyone was listening as he started filling them in. He could sense that Mulder wasn't comfortable having him leading the case. He couldn't exactly blame him; Mulder was much more experienced than he was.
"We've got the house wire tapped and we've managed to get a video camera in one of the rooms, the living room," he paused to take a look at his papers.
"Who requested a camera in the living room?" Mulder asked, a little confused.
"I did," Ben explained, wondering if he was just asking that to be a pain in the ass. "Why?"
"If you're going to put only one camera in the house, in this type of case, it's obvious that it should be in the bedroom, since he would keep his victim there," Mulder pointed out.
"Of course, we're hoping that he won't be able to actually get that far with them-"
"Then how will you make the arrest?" Mulder interrupted. "You can't arrest him for taking home a girl. A guy like this needs to be caught in the act otherwise he will never be convicted."
Ben looked at him and nodded.
"I see your point Agent Mulder, but the house is also wire tapped so I think we will hear when the arrest is appropriate."
"That may be so, but if the camera had been set in the bedroom it would have been a much more certain catch."
"True," Ben agreed, hiding his annoyance. "But there is not much we can do about that now, is there?"
"No, I guess there isn't."
Sighing deep within, Ben returned to the file to see what more needed to be told before they got started.
"We watch him 24 hours a day, report anything out of the ordinary," he looked up, meeting Krycek's eyes and almost lost his thread. "Uh- with this guy it would be almost anything, so keep your eyes and ears open." He looked at Mulder as he added the last comment. "Any other questions?"
*******************Finally upstairs, Mulder breathed out his anger, mumbling something Scully couldn't hear.
"Take it easy Mulder, it's just for a week." Scully smiled.
"A week with that guy is going to be one big pain in the ass and I don't like the way he looks at Alex."
Scully patted his arm soothingly. In return he gave her a kiss before saying. "You pick your room first."
"OK."
Morosely he threw his bag onto the bed, sighing heavily. He knew he wasn't going to get much sleep in that bed all alone, and especially not when he knew that Krycek was spending the night with Ben. He definitely didn't trust that guy.
She knew that sleeping was going to be a difficult because she wouldn't be totally alone. The thought of sleeping in the same house as Luis Cardinal troubled her and as the darkness swallowed the room she realized that she hadn't been this wary in a very long time. She wasn't very easy to scare, not after all the things that she and Mulder had experienced together, but she couldn't shake off that creepy feeling she had every time she thought of Luis Cardinal. She wished more than anything in the world that she could sleep between her two men. Something that had to be put on hold for a week.
Krycek had been fixing some take-outs, leaving Ben and Cardinal to get more acquainted. It was painful to see him again, knowing how easily he could manipulate him. He knew just which buttons to press. Even so, he kept studying Ben's figure as he moved to get the plates from a shelf. Still he recognized all his little moves, everything that he once loved. And made love to.
When Ben leaned against the sink to read some instructions for the coffee machine, Krycek almost felt as if time had been reversed. A couple of years ago and he would not have been standing at this distance. They'd often made love in the kitchen, Krycek could never resist the urge to take him when he was standing like that, not even aware that he was indeed tempting him.
He would have neared him slowly, starting by running his hands over Ben's muscular chest, all the way down to unbuckle his pants. Always like that. Then Ben would take control of the situation, like every other time they'd made love. Always in charge.
Krycek swallowed hard and shook of the image he'd build up. He didn't want to go back.
Every time Cardinal was out of sight Ben took his chances.
"How long are you gonna keep ignoring me Alex?"
"Until you go away," he answered truthfully.
"Well, we both know that is not going to happen."
"Do we?"
"Come on, don't tell me our two years didn't mean anything."
"You tell me."
"I never stopped loving you."
"Cut the bullshit," Krycek cut off. "If you had loved me you wouldn't have done what you did and I don't want to discuss this any further so why don't you just give it a rest."
Ben gave him a serious look, staring long into Krycek's eyes, something he used to do before always commenting what lovely eyes he had. This time Krycek broke away before he had the chance.
*******************Mulder was up with the sun, glad it was morning. He came down to the living area, finding Krycek half-asleep on the couch and Ben and Cardinal making small talk. Krycek revived hearing the familiar voice of his male lover.
"Hi," he smiled, hoping he wasn't being too obvious.
"Morning," Mulder greeted, finally getting his jealousy under control. When he met Krycek's eyes he knew everything was all right.
"Where's Scully?"
"She'll be down in a minute."
"You're up early," Ben remarked, not so ecstatic over seeing him.
"It was not a very comfortable bed," Mulder said calmly, meeting his gaze. "How's things been down here?"
"Quiet."
Krycek rose.
"I haven't been upstairs yet, do you mind showing me Mulder?"
"Sure."
Ben watched them disappear up the stairs then turned to Cardinal.
"Are they good friends?"
"Yeah. When I first came to the Bureau I didn't know that Mulder could have a social life, I mean everyone knows who Spooky Mulder is."
Ben laughed. "Yeah, they do."
"But I guess I was wrong."
Upstairs Krycek nearly shoved Mulder into the bedroom, closing the door. His mouth hungered for Mulder's soft lips and as they met in a fierce kiss, the hunger seemed to be satisfied.
"God I wanted to do that all night."
"Me too."
They leaned in for another passionate kiss. Separating from each other Krycek said.
"I've missed you, though it's only been a few hours."
"And I know someone who has too."
They cuddled for a while until they though it would be best to part. Krycek wanted to say hi to his other love too.
She had just gotten out of bed when he knocked on the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Alex."
Hearing that, she smiled. "Come in."
Pleased over seeing him, she was in his arms as soon as the door was closed behind him. He felt her hug a big stronger than usual, but appreciated every moment of it.
"How's the night been?"
"Calm, and yours?"
"A bit lonely."
He gave her a warm smile. "It won't last forever."
She smiled.
"Now all I have to do is convince myself of that," he joked and kissed her lightly.
"Need some motivation?"
He wanted it so badly but they both knew it had to wait.
*******************Mulder had to admit that surveillance wasn't his kind of thing. Last time he suffered from the surveillance 'sickness' he had sworn to himself not to do it voluntarily again.
While waiting for their criminal neighbor to come home they went through some files Mulder had brought along with him. The day had been quiet, nothing exciting had happened. At one point, Scully hadn't been able to resist the urge to snuggle closer to him, just to feel him. He had grinned when he realized how nervous she'd been over someone taking a tour downstairs, finding them sitting so close. She'd moved away too soon and the little action only made him miss her contact even more.
"You know what Mulder? Paper work isn't that bad after all."
He looked up at her where she sat curled up, at the end of the couch, far away from him. She looked so soft, it almost felt like old times when he wasn't allowed to touch her for a whole different reason. Now he could, but still he couldn't.
"It's only because it makes time fly," he responded tossing the file onto the table grabbing a new one, offering the stack of files that they had finished.
*******************Day turned into night and soon the other agents started to awake. When Ben noticed that Krycek was still asleep he took the liberty to go in to his room. The young man was lying on his stomach, sleeping like a baby.
"Alex," he said with a different tone of voice, a tone of voice Krycek remembered waking up to so many mornings.
"Alex, come on, it's time to wake up."
Krycek slowly came to his senses.
"Coming," he mumbled.
Ben watched him get up admiring that body he once used to have all to himself. It seemed like it had grown more beautiful, since the last time he touched those broad shoulders and the slim waist, that could move smoothly in those special moments. It was hard to tear him self away from the lovely morning image.
As Cardinal came down Scully could feel his gaze rest upon her, following every little move she made. It didn't exactly make her feel better about him. She glanced at Mulder, who didn't seem to notice her, and rose from the couch.
"I'm going to bed Mulder."
"OK, I'm gonna stay up for a while. I'm not really tired."
She got up quickly, moving towards the stair to escape her feelings of discomfort. On the stairs she met Ben who was on his way down.
"Sleep well Agent Scully," he said friendly.
"I'll try," she smiled.
As he came down he gave Mulder a surprised look, asking. "Aren't you going to bed Agent Mulder?"
"I'm not feeling very tired so no, I'm not."
"Suit yourself," Ben mumbled, making himself comfortable in one of the armchairs.
As the night continued Mulder kept an eye on Ben, making sure he kept his distance. Krycek was awfully quiet, mostly caught up in a book he'd brought along. Around midnight, food became their small conversation and Mulder and Cardinal decided to go and fix some take-outs.
When they were alone an awkward silence embarrassed the room. Krycek tried to ignore it. Instead he concentrated on his book, the silence somehow making it impossible to read.
"Want something to drink?" he heard Ben ask as he got up.
"Yeah, something cold would be nice."
He watched him go in to the kitchen moving gracefully as always, very aware of how to use those hips of his. Coming back he joined Krycek on the couch, handing him a can of diet coke.
"You and Agent Mulder seem to get along fine. Been friends long?"
"You could say that."
"Is he as weird as everyone says he is?"
"No he isn't."
Krycek's answers were short, not wanting to let him know what Mulder really meant to him. He took a sip of his coke, swallowing, then bravely asked.
"How about you? How's your life getting by?"
"Fine."
"Fucked anyone I know?"
Ben was startled by the sudden change of voice.
"You haven't forgiven me yet, have you?"
"It has nothing to do with that, I just asked you a question."
Ben studied him for a while tempted to say something more about it. It would be pointless.
"No. I haven't," he said instead, still looking at him.
He reached out his hand, placing it under Krycek's chin. Krycek didn't move, didn't tell him to stop. Ben allowed one of his fingers to brush over his cheek, feeling the two day old bristles against the soft skin of his finger.
"You have such beautiful eyes," he told him softly. "But of course, you know that already."
Krycek still couldn't move, it was like he was paralyzed by his touch. As he felt him invade his space even more, he could hear himself whisper.
"Don't"
"Why? I can feel that you want it." His voice was low, seductive and demanding.
The door suddenly opened and the two agents jolted away from each other in mutual reaction. When Krycek looked up he saw Cardinal and Mulder in the doorway; Cardinal, obviously totally unaware of anything except the food he was carrying. Mulder on the other hand looked a little more suspicious. Krycek smiled at him and saw how his face relaxed.
"Italian," Cardinal told them and held up the bags.
"Great," Ben smiled and glanced at Krycek.
Krycek woke up on the couch lunch time the next day. To his surprise Mulder and Ben were discussing the next move in the case. The night had been calm and obviously this guy was still preparing the details before he struck his next victim. Krycek was surprised to notice that they were actually quite friendly while talking to each other. Sleepily he sat up, rubbing his eyes, causing their attention to fall on him.
"Good Morning," Mulder said, giving him an affectionate gaze, discrete of course.
"I fell asleep?" Krycek asked, surprised.
"Yeah, you slept like a baby all night," Ben stated.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"Nah, we managed."
"How's the night been?"
"Well, we had some excitement around five when Mr. Megape went out to get his newspaper," Mulder said, with a slight smile. He glanced at his watch. "Can you wake up Scully? The two of you are up for the night shift."
"Sure."
Krycek rose from the couch shuffling away to the stairs. Scully and him, now there was something he was going to enjoy to the fullest. He walked in to her room to find her already dressed.
"Good, you're ready," he smiled standing by the door.
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep anyway."
Mulder came in to the room shortly after, wearing a goofy smile.
"Think you two can behave all alone?" he teased and gave Krycek a friendly pat on the arm.
"What?" Scully asked confused.
Krycek smiled at Mulder, wondering if he could keep from thinking of sex for a whole day.
"You and I are up for the next shift," he told Scully still looking at Mulder.
"Why?"
"Because Mulder stayed up all night with Ben and Luis."
Scully gave Krycek an inviting smile, just to tease Mulder. Krycek played along, making sure no one was around to see them, before he gave her a quick kiss.
"I'm taking a shower," he announced about to walk out.
"Really?" Mulder stopped him.
"Yes," he grinned and placed his hand on Mulder's shoulder. "And you stay here."
Alone in the room, Scully turned to face him.
"Did Ben behave?" she wanted to know.
"What are you talking about?"
"About this stupid jealousy you have towards Ben."
"Of Ben? You're kidding me," he crossed his arms in denial.
"Come on Mulder, you've been watching every step he's made since we got here. You're making the poor guy nervous."
"Nervous? He could stop hanging over Krycek or I'll give him something to be nervous about."
Scully coughed and shook her head. He was unbelievable.
*******************A few hours later, Krycek and Scully sat in the couch downstairs, trying to put the evidence, they had managed to collect, together. They didn't talk much about Ben, in fact nothing had been said about him at all. Krycek was glad that she trusted him, even though he felt some guilt over what had happened the night before.
"Let's see," Krycek looked through the pile of papers he'd just reorganized. "He's made phone calls to three different persons over the last few days, one to his mother, one to a friend and the third to some guy we can't make a connection to. Think he could be an accomplice?"
"No," she leaned over to look at his notes. "This guy definitely works alone, I totally agree with Mulder's profile there-" she stopped as she saw him smile.
"That's a new one," he said with another smile.
She looked at him and arched a brow in amusement.
"Anyway," she led the subject back to the case. "He told every one of them that he was going away for this weekend. Now it's obvious that he plans to take action and make sure that they stay away."
"Figures," he nodded and moved to the next paper. "Then there is this," pointing at a note. "He calls up his mother again but this times he just hangs up on her."
"Yes, that's odd," she agreed. "Maybe he's having second thoughts about doing it, I don't know-"
He looked at her as she tried to find a better answer to why the guy was acting as he was. She was so beautiful to just sit and watch he sometimes found himself doing that and not even knowing it.
"Alex," she nudged him lightly to gain his attention. He was looking at her, but it didn't feel as if he was with her.
"Sorry," he said, looking a little out of it.
She knew where he had his mind.
"How are you, really?"
He knew what she was referring to.
"I'm fine," he nodded and placed his hand over her for a couple of seconds. "Just trying to- sort things out."
Nodding she understood that this had to be hard for him. Obviously, Ben had left scars that wouldn't heal. She could imagine what kind of relationship they'd had, Ben seemed very authoritative. Alex was too good for a guy like him.
"So-" he looked back in to his paper. "Where were we?"
She gathered her thoughts and helped him remember where they'd stopped.
*******************The day went on without any big changes, and slowly turned into night. Krycek had entertained himself with a book while waiting for the other agents to come down. Cardinal and Ben took the next shift, which left Mulder and Krycek to stay up for the next day shift. Both of them were relieved with this.
Mulder moved closer to him on the couch, scanning the room before he dared to put his hand on Krycek's thigh.
"What are you doing?" Krycek smiled, looking around.
Without a word, Mulder leaned in to nibble his earlobe, his hand moving closer to Krycek's groin.
"Mulder!" Krycek warned but showed no intentions of moving away. "Anyone could come down and see us."
"I know," Mulder whispered, softly into his ear, his lip moving lightly over Krycek's skin. "So I thought we could keep it down," he smoothed over the hard bulge, hearing the other man gasp.
"You're not making that very easy for me," he commented with a low moan.
Mulder chuckled and pulled Krycek's face to his, offering his lips. They tasted each other for a while, the familiar scent arousing them further. The hand on Krycek's groin added a little pressure and Mulder heard Krycek's appreciation in form of a moan.
"Tell me you want me," Mulder dared, unbuttoning the first button on Alex's pants.
"You know I do," Krycek whispered, leaning in for a sensual kiss.
"I guess you do."
Mulder unbuttoned the rest and pressed against the bulge in Alex's boxers. Krycek's hips arched, pleading quietly. With a contented smile, Mulder moved to kneel in front of him, slowly removing Krycek's jeans. Before touching again, he wanted to admire the sight he beheld. Krycek didn't feel the same need to be admired and moved restlessly toward the other man. Mulder took the hint and put one hand on each side of Alex's hips. Krycek looked down at him, a painful expression behind his green eyes.
"Tell me," Mulder dared once more, getting a kick from the power.
"Mulder, for God's sake, just touch me," Krycek whined.
Taking pity on him, Mulder pulled down his boxers, caressing the hard erection smoothly as he did. It screamed for attention and Mulder knew he had been torturing him for too long. With a swift move he bend forward and pulled the hard cock into his mouth, feeling Krycek meet him with a trust. He let Alex decide the pace, relaxing his throat for him.
After a while, Krycek tangled his hand in Mulder's hair, having a hard time keeping quiet. He felt Mulder caressing his balls with one hand, using the other to tease his ass, unexpectedly letting one finger enter the tight hole. Bucking up hard as his arousal grew he could feel how Mulder trust his finger in and out of him, lightly massaging his balls as he did. He was so hard now he could feel his veins throb in the softness of Mulder's mouth. Another heavenly trust and the mouth surrounding his cock sucked a little more fiercely, another finger entered his ass, working violently inside him. Krycek lost control of his trusts, rocking back and forward with an uneven pace that send tears to Mulder's eyes. As his semen filled Mulder's mouth he continued to trust until he lost the ability to move at all, loosening the grip of the other man's hair.
Mulder smiled and moved up to him so he could give him a tight hug. Krycek smiled and cuddled in to his neck giving him a little squeeze.
"Good?" Mulder asked, running his hands through Krycek's hair.
Krycek chuckled and leaned back to look at him. The hazel eyes looking straight into his had the slightest bit of worry in their expression. Krycek knew what he was thinking.
"You're wonderful," he told and gave him a soft kiss. "Always wonderful."
Mulder smiled and leaned in for another hug.
*******************Next shift was Cardinal and Scully. Ben decided to wait until the next one and Scully felt silly about complaining, not having told either of them about her feelings towards Cardinal. She could feel him eyeballing her from his side of the couch, trying to ignore the feelings he provoked in her. It was nothing; he didn't mean anything by it.
Krycek was sitting on his bed, organizing some files before he went to bed. He was thinking of how the day had proceeded, the thought of Mulder's blow job making him weak. It was frustrating to be so close to both of them and not being able to touch them whenever he felt the need.
"Alex?"
He didn't even turn at the sound of Ben's voice.
"What do you want?"
Ben sighed and walked into the room, coming to sit beside him on the bed. Krycek tried his best to ignore him, looking carefully at his papers.
"Alex, you've got to talk to me - I feel miserable going around here knowing that you're mad with me."
"Good," Krycek said shortly, about to get up from the bed when Ben grabbed his arm.
"Alex - I - don't do this. Don't push me away from you."
Knowing he had his gaze under total control, Ben gave him that look he knew he could to get anywhere with. Something happened in Krycek's eyes and the hope grew inside of him.
"Alex -" he breathed heavily, seeing Krycek open his mouth to say something. Nothing came out. "Alex, I love you."
Despite himself, the memories started coming back as Alex looked in to the eyes of his former lover. He recognized the feel of his breath so close to his face, the look in his eyes, that very same look he got every time he wanted to make love to him.
Ben was leaning closer and he knew he had to do something. He didn't want this, he didn't love him, he loved Mulder and Scully and he would never jeopardize their relationship.
"Alex," Ben pleaded, knowing that it wouldn't take much now.
"Ben I-"
The door opened and both men were startled by Mulder's appearance in the room. He just stood there for a while, the pain in his eyes telling Ben exactly what was going on. Krycek met his eyes knowing that he looked guilty even though they hadn't done anything. Mulder swallowed hard, he didn't want to give them an out that easy.
"I was gonna check something about the case, I'll just come back later if you're busy," he said turning around before having met Krycek's gaze one last time.
Ben smiled to himself. Did he have to be that obvious? When he turned around to Krycek he tried to look hurt.
"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't know."
Krycek flinched. He didn't want Ben knowing that Mulder was gay. That was probably the last thing he needed, and it was clear that he had been trying to avoid just that by leaving like he did.
"What?" he tried to sound surprised.
"C'mon Alex. You and Mulder."
"No, no," Krycek shook his head. "We're just friends. Mulder's straight."
Ben smiled distrusting. He was so cute when he tried to lie.
"Alex, it's OK. I won't tell anyone. I promise."
Looking at him for a while, not trusting him for one second, Alex knew that the only feelings he had left for this man was that of distrust and hatred. He wasn't letting him get between him and Mulder.
"Well, you can think what you want, but we're not," he snapped. "Now if you'd excuse me I'm just gonna go and see what Mulder wanted."
Ben met his eyes. There wasn't a chance in hell he was buying what he had just told him. Krycek wasn't a very good liar.
"Sure, you go," he smiled. "I'll just go and see what's going on downstairs then."
Krycek left without another word, his heart beating hard as he walked to Mulder's room. This could all go to hell just like that and he'd be damned if he'd let Ben destroy his life one more time. He tapped on the door.
"It's me Mulder."
No one said anything so he walked in anyway. Mulder was sitting on the bed, file in his hands, ignoring him totally. This would not be easy.
"Mulder, it's not what you think," he walked up to the bed, not daring to sit down.
Still not talking to him, Mulder flipped a page. Krycek could see his jaws clenching.
"Mulder, I don't want him, I want you. You know that."
Finally Mulder looked at him, holding his gaze.
"Don't let him do this to us," Krycek whispered, taking courage as he sat down and removed the file from Mulder's hands. "Just don't let him win, this is exactly what he wants."
Mulder was still sitting silently, but his gaze was not quite as sad. Krycek leaned forward, glad that he accepted him getting closer, he even moved a little closer himself. Lifting one hand, Krycek cupped his face leaning his forehead against Mulder's.
"How could I not want you?" he smiled, brushing his lips against Mulder's. "You and Scully."
Mulder closed his eyes, his heart beating fast. Anyone could come in on them.
"Don't ever make me feel like that again," he whispered hoarsely, the tears stuck in his throat. "Ever."
Relieved, Krycek inhaled sharply, seeking Mulder's lips with a craving desire to show him how much he loved him. Mulder kissed him back for a while then let the kiss die as he dropped his head to Krycek's shoulder, rubbing lightly against the soft skin. Krycek held him close to his heart, in one piece again.
*******************Krycek glared as Ben unnecessarily brushed close to Mulder for the third time. Ben had been trying to get Mulder's attention ever since he understood how things were, and Krycek knew where his intentions lay. Mulder didn't seem to notice though; he was too involved in his own little world, and didn't see Ben as a threat anymore.
"Mulder, are you up for the next shift?" Ben asked, knowing that it was inevitable that they'd end up together.
"Yeah, sure," he nodded, still not paying him much attention.
Krycek clenched his jaw, not wanting to give Ben the pleasure of knowing that he was worried, keeping quiet even though he wanted to stay up with them.
When they'd been sitting in the couch for about an hour, Mulder noticed how Ben kept looking at him. Discrete but still not. He wondered what Krycek had told him after he'd walked in on them. It was obvious that he suspected something, but Mulder wasn't gonna be the one to bring it up.
"Would you mind passing me a coke?" Ben asked, meeting Mulder's eyes intentionally.
Mulder was confused by the expression he saw, the way Ben kept eye contact, for much longer than he had to, as he passed him the coke. He tried to ignore it, looking down in some papers for a while.
"It's gonna be great when all this is over," Ben smiled and opened his coke, startled as it splashed all over his T-shirt. "Darn," he moaned, getting Mulder attention again.
Before Mulder had the time to react, Ben was starting to take off his T-shirt, exposing a really well trained body. Mulder swallowed hard surprised over his own reaction.
"Don't you just hate it when that happens?" Ben smiled, wiping some coke off his face with his T-shirt.
Mulder forced a smile, trying not to stare at Ben's incredible body. He had to force his gaze away in order not to be too obvious. One image kept coming up before his eyes, Ben and Krycek making love, their bodies close together, Krycek moving rhythmically inside of Ben. He had to fight back his erection, along with his jealousy, hoping that Ben didn't notice anything. Of course he did.
"Well, I was getting hot anyway," he joked, telling Mulder with his eyes that he wasn't gonna cover his body again.
They sat quiet for some time. Mulder was fighting with his own thoughts. He didn't like the thoughts that kept popping up in his own head, he didn't want them there. He didn't want to look at Ben's body. This was ridiculous. He was just sexually frustrated, that was all. It didn't mean anything; it was just a perfectly normal physical reaction. Besides, you always felt tempted to look at something when you knew you really shouldn't.
*******************Krycek was turning from side to side in his bed. He knew Ben's intentions and he knew just how powerful he could be. Of course, this wasn't just some guy he was trying to win over; it was Mulder, one of FBI's most intelligent agents. He should be able to relax and sleep. So why couldn't he do just that?
"Damn," he mumbled under his breath and swept away the cover. He had to go see what was going on.
*******************Ben heard footsteps slowly nearing the stairs, his senses telling him it was Krycek. It had to be. He thought quickly. Leaning forward to get his coke, he made a fake pained moan.
"Great," he said, slowly leaning back in the couch again.
"What happened?" Mulder gave him some attention, half-glad to have reason to look at him without having it misinterpreted as staring.
"I stretched a muscle in my shoulder," he told, trying to rub out the pain with one hand.
Mulder watched him trying to make the muscle ease under his hand, for a few seconds, before he turned to Mulder, his eyes totally innocent.
"Would you mind?" he motioned for Mulder to help.
"Uh," Mulder didn't know what to say as Ben moved closer, not turning his back against him but moving closer face to face.
"Just see if you can rub out the worst tension," he smiled, his eyes calm. "Here," he put Mulder's hand on his shoulder, hearing the footsteps getting closer.
It felt as if his brain was blocked out by what was happening. Ben's calm eyes were very relaxing to him and he couldn't explain how he was doing that. Every sound around them was lost on him and he didn't hear Krycek enter the room behind him.
Krycek suddenly felt sick. There on the couch was Mulder, holding his hand on Ben's shoulder, on Ben's naked shoulder, their bodies closer than he was able to admit to himself. The tension was high in the small room and when Ben looked up at him, Krycek saw something there he didn't like.
"Alex," he pretending to sound surprised and quickly moving away from Mulder.
Mulder turned to look at him, his expression confused.
"What are you doing down here?" Ben wanted to know, glancing at Mulder to make it look more obvious.
Krycek stared at him with tears in his eyes. He didn't want to show him how much this was affecting him, but he couldn't hide his feelings as they came in such a storm.
Mulder rose, finally feeling himself again, giving Krycek a reassuring gaze. He could read the worry in his lover's eyes and he knew that Alex didn't understand what was going on. How could he understand, he didn't understand it himself. It was as if he hadn't been in control of what was happening to his body. One minute he had been sitting there reading his papers, and the next minute he had been--not doing anything at all and he refused to feel guilty.
Reading his calm, Krycek knew Mulder wanted to tell him that nothing had happened. Of course it hadn't but he needed to know what had been going on. Looking over Mulder's shoulder at Ben, he saw the event from a different perspective, one he didn't like at all. Still, Mulder's eyes held the promise he needed to be told.
"Did you want something special?" Ben asked him, thinking he had him caught now.
Krycek looked at him once more and then over to Mulder again. Mulder offered him a smile and his heart grew with love. That son of a bitch, how could he even suspect Mulder of anything. Ben was the bad guy here, not Mulder.
"No, I was just going to get something to eat," he said, fighting against the jealousy which still hung over him like a dark cloud. "I was just gonna see how things were going here first."
"Everything's fine," Mulder assured him, the undertone very obvious.
Krycek nodded, not even looking at Ben. He wasn't worth the attention.
"OK then," he said, feeling his breathing getting back to normal. "I'll just go see what I can find."
Mulder wanted so much to follow him out in to the kitchen and tell him all about what really happened. He knew he didn't have to, but still he wanted to make sure there weren't any misunderstandings. Resisting the idea he returned to the couch, keeping a distance from Ben the rest of the time.
*******************They made the bust the very next day, everything going smoothly. Mr. Megape had gone out, Cardinal had followed him into a nightclub where he'd found a young girl to take home. They'd burst in just as he was preparing the murder and caught him in the act. The whole thing had been over in a couple of hours and they were now glad to be heading home.
Mulder and Krycek hadn't said a word about what had happened and Ben had kept a low profile. He knew when it was time to step back, for a while anyway. It wasn't in him to loose and he nearly never did, he was too smart to loose. This, however, would be quite a challenge.
*******************Back in Krycek's apartment, Scully felt like herself again. She had noted that there was some tension between Alex and Mulder but didn't want to deal with that just yet. All she wanted to do was to cuddle up in front of the TV with the men she loved and just be happy.
"Come here Mulder," she smiled and pulled him down on the couch with her.
He smiled and held her tight as she buried her face against him. This was nice, actually it was beyond nice. He just wished that he could forget some parts of the surveillance. They just seemed to stick to his brain like glue. What would have happened if he hadn't walked in on them when he did? He glanced at Krycek who was sitting in an armchair, deep in thought.
"Let's never leave this couch," Scully mused, taking in the scent of him.
"That's fine with me," Mulder agreed pulling her closer to him.
Krycek didn't react to a word they'd said. He just sat there, his mind far off and Mulder had a pretty good idea where it was.
*******************Before going to bed, Scully decided to take a shower. She needed to get the feel of the surveillance house of her body.
In the meantime, Krycek and Mulder had occupied the bed, taking a game of kissing a little further. Remembering that night in the surveillance house Krycek decided to return the favor. Mulder was in heaven, his mind far away from Ben and all that had happened.
Krycek took in the taste of pre cum, letting the tip of his tongue dance over Mulder's most sensitive area. He felt Mulder move against him, knowing what he wanted, what he needed.
"I want you to do me," Alex whispered, kissing up his body until he rested his lips on his lover's full lips. "If that's OK with you."
Mulder moaned and devoured his lips in need of that special contact. He couldn't promise he could take it easy with him, but he sensed that Krycek wanted it rough just as much as he did.
"Flip over," surprised that he managed to speak.
Moving swiftly to rest on his stomach he heard Mulder open a drawer to get the tube of lubricant. He let out a soft moan as Mulder pressed a greased finger against him, probing at his tight entrance. After the first finger came another, stretching him for a while, his other hand seeking the semi erect cock.
"Take me," Krycek grunted and raised his ass against Mulder's fingers. "Now."
Relieved over his plea, Mulder removed his fingers, putting some more lubricant in the entrance of Krycek's tight ass. He pushed in with a hard trust and found himself all the way inside in an instant. Krycek moaned and bucked against him, encouraging him to continue in the same way.
"Tell me if I'm being too rough," Mulder whispered, as he started a hard rocking motion against the other man.
"No problems," Krycek smiled and placed his hand on top of the one that were holding his own cock.
Mulder rocked forcefully, slamming his body against Krycek's ass, not knowing why he was reacting like this. He just needed to do this, and Krycek wanted it just as bad. It turned him on beyond description. When he feltKrycek's orgasm building he put some more power to it, the sweat on his body breaking out by the effort. Then he heard it, quiet like a muffled sound in to the pillow, but still clear enough for him to react to it.
"Oh Ben."
Mulder froze.
"Oh what?"
Oh shit!
"Oh God." Scully had just come in to the bedroom in time to hear Krycek's mistake.
Mulder pulled out of him, gathered his clothes and dashed out of there, Krycek hurried after.
"Mul-Fox, wait!" he shouted, stopping long enough in the doorway to put on his boxers.
The living room was dark but he could still see Mulder getting dressed, almost violently. Krycek turned on the lights, finding him standing there in his jeans and bare upper body.
"Fox, I didn't mean that, I don't know what happened but I didn't mean that," he walked up to him, stopping as he caught sight of Mulder's mad expression. "I'm sorry," he reached out his hand to touch his arm.
"Don't touch me," Mulder warned moving away. "Don't ever touch me again."
He heard the words but he refused to believe them, as the thought of not ever touching Mulder again was too unbearable.
"Mulder let's talk about this," he pleaded.
Scully was standing in the doorway, looking at them with sad eyes. She couldn't stand to see them arguing like this, but she didn't feel right jumping in and taking sides. So she kept quiet, hoping they'd be able to work things through.
"I don't have anything more to say to you," Mulder said, about to walk out of there.
Krycek grabbed his arm a little too rough.
"What? Are you leaving?"
Their eyes met. Mulder's filled with pain, Krycek's no less so.
"Let go of me," Mulder kept staring at him.
"No!" he felt his tears beginning to flow as he felt what was about to come. "You can't do this. You can't just walk away like this, it just doesn't work that way."
"Oh shut up Alex!" Mulder snapped. "You are the last person who should be lecturing me on how this works!"
"I said I was sorry. What more can I do?" he didn't care that Mulder could see his tears, finding no good arguments in keeping them inside. "Just don't walk away."
Mulder looked at him, his heart aching. He didn't want things to be like this, but he was hurting too much. Everything was getting too complicated, he was getting too involved and it scared the hell out of him. He didn't want to feel the way he was feeling; the same way he'd felt when he'd walked in on them.
"This was a stupid idea from the beginning," he said shaking his head. "I don't know what we were thinking when we came up with this," he motioned with his hands in the air. "It's obviously not working."
"So you're giving up," Krycek tried his best to control himself. "Just like that? Just because I made a mistake, one single mistake. I'm sorry, I'm not perfect."
"Oh, cut the crap Alex. This isn't about that and you know it."
"Then what is it about?"
They shared a calm gaze for a moment and Krycek almost believed he'd take it back, that he would come back.
"This is about me not trusting you Alex," he spoke very calm, very matter of factly. "I can't live with someone I don't trust and that is exactly what's happening here."
"What have I done to make you not trust me?" Krycek felt like his heart had fallen to the floor, and been stamped on. "I haven't done anything."
"Yeah, right," Mulder shook his head. "I saw that very clearly."
Alex knew that he was referring to having thought it was all over. Obviously not.
"You know that nothing happened."
"You said that yes, but I don't know that. Why should I trust you after what just happened? Even if you didn't do anything, it's obvious you wanted to."
Krycek couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Can someone please explain to me what this is about?" Scully spoke from the door, not being able to follow their conversation.
Mulder looked at her, only now realizing that she was standing there too.
"I walked in on them," he told her and swallowed.
"What?" she didn't understand. Why hadn't they told her?
"Nothing happened," Krycek tried again, now a little frustrated.
"Well of course it didn't cause I walked in just in time to stop that. Lord only knows what would have happened if I hadn't," he had really raised his voice this time.
"Damned it Mulder. I didn't say a word when I walked in on the two of you," he wiped his tears. "You know, maybe I should have. Maybe it's you who can't be trusted and you're laying it off on me since you can't deal with it," he continued, knowing he was going too far.
Now she was really confused. Krycek had walked in on Mulder and Ben? Why hadn't anybody told her about all this?
"Now this is just great," Mulder clenched his jaws. "I don't trust you and you don't trust me. I don't see any reason to continue this any further," he turned to leave.
"Mulder!" Scully spoke softly.
He turned around, meeting her tear filled eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her; she couldn't help any of this.
"Please don't go," she whispered, her lower lip quivering slightly. "Don't do this."
This was going to be hard, harder than he had thought but he had to do it. He couldn't live with them both and he couldn't live with either of them alone. Either way it got too complicated, too difficult.
"Scully," he walked up to her, lightly touching her hand. "I'm sorry but I have to do this, I can't-"
She could feel the tears fall down her cheeks as she met his eyes. Things were happening too fast, she couldn't keep up.
"Please don't cry," he felt his own tears closing in, at the sight of her in such pain. "You'll be all right. I want you to go on with this, I know it can make you happy."
"No-" her tears were blinding her. "Mulder I love you."
He placed his hands on each side of her face, smoothing his thumbs over her cheeks.
"I'll be in the way. You're better off without me."
His eyes were so honest, she knew he believed that it was true. She knew that Krycek stared off into the distance, hearing Scully's sobs breaking the silence. What had happened? He couldn't grasp it, let alone understand why. Mulder was gone, that much he knew. It was his fault, completely. He looked at her, surprised to find her gaze on him.
"Oh Alex," she cried reaching out her hand towards him. "Come."
He stared at her for a while. She wasn't blaming him? Of course she wasn't. This was Scully, his beautiful reasonable Scully. Their Scully. He accepted her embrace, knowing how silly it had to look, with her small body, comforting him in the silent dark room. He didn't care.
"It'll be OK," she whispered, her tears still falling. "We'll work this out."
Holding her as tight as he could without hurting her, he felt his desperation taking the better of him. He couldn't believe what had just happened.
"Don't leave me," he whispered in to her neck. "I need you."
"Sweety," she kissed his temple. "I'm here. I won't go anywhere, I promise."
Her words eased him to a certain point but the greatest pain still remained inside of him. How could things ever be all right after this? How could they ever?
To be continued…
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