3's A Charm: De Nova: Part One

by Ocean Summers and Sage O'Neil

From his seat in the back, he had a perfect view over her.  The red hair rested on her shoulders as she sat, comfortable behind the wheel.  He was impressed with her calm as she drove in the snowstorm.  You could hardly see the road up front, yet she kept herself and the car on track.  He was glad that he had been asked to come but a little surprised they'd thought of him.  

The partnership with Mulder had ended too soon.  Working with such an intelligent agent was an honor and during the time they had worked together, he had become a much better agent himself.  There was something about Mulder he just couldn't resist, something he couldn't explain.

Then there was Scully.  He hadn't known all that much about her and the little time he'd spent with her before the abduction had been too short and too professional.  At some point he had even been jealous of her, of her and Mulder's relationship -- not that the feelings had lasted very long; she wasn't the kind you could dislike, not for long.

When she had been returned and reassigned to Mulder, he had to admit that he had been hurt.  But at the same time he wouldn't dream of denying Mulder that.  No one deserved it more.

Since he and Mulder had become close during the time of her abduction, it was natural for them to continue their friendship, even after her return.  Mulder was very serious when he let him know how much he had appreciated his support in his time of need.  After that, he had found himself drifting toward the basement more and more as time went by.

That was how he had noticed her.

Dana Scully.  He didn't know where to start, nor where to end.  At first, she had been special to him only in that she was special to Mulder, but it didn't take too long until he began to see her in a different light.  He kept expecting her to start to irritate him, and in turn to start to dislike her, but she didn't and as the days went by, he became to like her more and more.  It was probably safe to say that he'd never been this enchanted by anyone in his entire life.  Before he had had the time to catch up, he had to face the inevitable; he was in love with her as well.

"Hey, have you fallen asleep back there?"  Mulder said, turning his head to look at him.

"No," Krycek replied.

"You're awfully quiet."  Scully smiled, meeting his gaze in the rear-view mirror.

Krycek returned the smile, not sure of what to say.  Something that had caught his interest, and kept it, were her eyes.  Her eyes were the clearest, most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen in a woman.  They broke in harmony with her red hair, and every time her eyes met his, he found himself almost unable to breathe.

"Believe it or not, Scully, I think the boy has a crush on you," Mulder joked, pronouncing the words separate with a southern accent.

Against his will, Krycek blushed, turning his head to look out the window in hope that the cold outside would help him to cool off.

"Mulder!"  Scully laughed, giving his arm a gentle nudge.  "You're making him uncomfortable."  She glanced in the rear-view mirror again, and caught him looking right back at her again.

She didn't understand why she was reacting like this, but there was something enigmatic about him, especially his eyes.  They could be so cold and yet so tender.  She had to admit that she hadn't expected Mulder to trust him, not as quickly like he had.  There was something special between them, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Eventually, Krycek fell asleep in the back seat, his head leaning against the window.  After a while, Scully noticed both of them dozing peacefully, drifting away to dreamland and devouring every minute of the peace, so quiet and warm.  She mused that this was a peace and quiet she could get addicted to.

Half an hour later, they reached the cabin, parking the car outside.  Tons of snow surrounded them, and civilization seemed to be miles away.  Mulder frowned and forced himself into the snowstorm after Krycek and Scully got out of the car, folding his headgear over his head as he walked to the trunk to help carry the bags.

It was still a little chilly inside the cabin.  Scully hurried to adjust the thermostat, knowing it would take a while until the place was properly heated.  The place belonged to one of the Scully's, and it was big, bigger than Mulder had expected, although he knew the Scully family was quite large.  The walls were of timber as well as the floor and it pretty much looked like a larger-than-expected hunter's cabin.

"It'll take a couple of hours until it's completely warm in here," Scully explained, rubbing her hands together.  "We can make a fire and hurry the heating up that way," she suggested, making her way to the storage for wood.

Krycek joined her to help as Mulder opened the flue of the fireplace.  A couch and a table faced the hearth.  In front, where Scully and Krycek were sitting to stock the wood, was a hide of a big old bear.  The fur looked as though it had seen better bears -- certainly the bear had.

Mulder turned around, almost bumping into the decoration on the wall, something coppery and furry.  Lifting his gaze, he found himself looking at a fox, its face twisted in a tormented expression.

"Hey, Scully, I didn't know you disliked me this much," he joked.

Scully smiled ruefully and looked at the smaller animal.

"My father's work," she explained.  "Missy and I always complained about his hobby, and this was his final catch."

He nodded slowly, watching her look at the animal next to him.  There were a lot of memories of Ahab in the cabin, and he was glad she could share it with him, that it was comfortable for her to do so.  He could imagine a younger Dana Scully begging her father to spare the animal's life, trying to save the fox, and he realized that she hadn't changed that much.

By the time the darkness settled around them, the cabin was warm.  Scully was curled up in the corner of the couch, reading from a file -- never wasting a minute, that was Scully -- and Mulder and Krycek were typing on their laptops.  The only sound was the slapping of fingers against the keyboard and the fire crackling as the flames rose to the chimney.  Outside, the snow was still falling, more calm now as the storm stilled.  Scully stretched out on the couch and sighed in delight.  This was life in its true meaning.

Putting the file on the side table, she glanced over at Mulder and Krycek, both engrossed in their reports, neither aware of her gaze.

Up to a couple of weeks ago, she had believed that there could never be anybody else than Mulder in her heart that the extent wasn't enough for anybody else.  But now, she found herself so utterly in love with the both of them that she sometimes forgot time and space.

Mulder had been her best friend for so long, her ally.  She would do anything for him and never regret it.  It only took to know him to fall in love with him, and she knew him, better than anyone.  She knew his honesty, his kindness and his life force.  She even knew and cherished those things that were dubious about him, the way he ran off on her without telling her where he was going, because even that was in some way thoughtful of him.

Then came Krycek, with his kind eyes, his shy look and sweet smile, knocking her right off her feet.  The two men were by no means identical, that wasn't the issue.  They were different in spirit as well as in looks, but still not.  She knew that Mulder liked Krycek, that he had trusted him as his partner and friend.  At first she had been jealous, knowing Mulder didn't take trust lightly, but later she had accepted this new friend of his, glad that he had been able to find someone else to rely on when she wasn't there.

Not that she hadn't been skeptical about it.  The first thing she did was to find out everything that she could about Alex Krycek, terrified that he wasn't who he appeared to be, someone who was going to not be worthy of Mulder's regard.  But she found nothing out of the ordinary, even though she went to extreme measures to find out anything suspicious.  Then she met him a couple of times, even spoke to him on occasions, learning what a true and honest man he was.  It wasn't anything you could easily pretend to be and Scully was the kind of woman with a sense for these kinds of things -- although she would have denied it to her dying breath.

Finally, that day in the basement, when Krycek had come by to pick up his things, she met his eyes.  From that day, it was almost as if he had cast a spell on her, because she could just as little get him off her mind as she could shake Mulder from that place she knew he shouldn't be in.

She sighed again, this time more troubled.  She threw her legs over the edge of the couch to a sitting position.  Mulder saved his report and turned off the computer as he heard her move.  They had been working far too long, and he could feel his eyelids dropping from time to time, telling him he ought to rest.

"I'm going to call it a day now," he said aloud, flexing his tensed fingers.

Krycek raised his gaze from the screen, looking a little puzzled.  Mulder swallowed hard, trying to ignore how sexy he looked.

"I still got some left here," Krycek said, smiling in a pained kind of way.

Mulder rose as he looked at Scully, who were sitting up straight on the couch, staring at the wall absent-mindedly.  He shifted his focus back to Krycek, who was attacking the computer again; truth to tell, he was a little worried about leaving the two of them alone.  Realizing how absolutely ridiculous that was -- although that didn't stop him -- he forced such thoughts aside, giving his "good nights" before leaving.

A couple of minutes later, Krycek turned off his computer as well.  Her heart was beating faster by the time he sat on the couch next to her with a sigh.

"All done?"  she asked, making herself more comfortable.

He nodded, leaning back.  It felt good to sit in a soft couch after a few hours in a wooden chair.  And the company wasn't all that bad either.  She was looking at him, he could tell, watching her from the corner of his eye a while before meeting her gaze.  And his eyes were trapped again.

For a moment, Scully thought she could distinguish every single color in those beautiful eyes; somehow, they seemed to pronounce themselves.  Then the next instant they blended together once more, giving him that look she could not erase from her mind.

"It's a nice place you got here," he said, breaking the connection to look around, the color rising on his cheeks.

"Yeah," she agreed, scanning the familiar room to shake off her embarrassment.  "It was my own little haven as a child."

"Really?"  Krycek sounded a little surprised.

She continued to stare at a painting on the wall, afraid to meet his gaze again, knowing she'd be lost.  The mere thought of having him looking at her was enough to make her blush.

"We always moved around, since my father was in the Navy.  Every place meant new faces, new settlements.  This place always stayed the same.  My one solid ground."

The couch moved as he made himself more comfortable, all the while watching her as she spoke.

"You came here a lot?"

"Not really.  Maybe once a year, but it was enough to give me that feeling of belonging -- you know."

To her surprise, she saw him nod.  It wasn't really a question, and even if it had been, she didn't expect him to understand.  But then again, she didn't know all that much about his childhood.

He noted her reaction.  "My parents were Cold War immigrants," he told her, regarding his hands as she turned to look at him.  "We moved a lot."

She nodded already knowing that he was from Russia.  It was nice to hear him say so; it strengthened her sense of his honesty.

"It's like living your life without getting to know who you really are," he continued.  "Because you don't get time to think about it with everything else changing around you.  I didn't feel complete until later, when I had moved away from home and demanded my own independence."

It surprised her that they were actually so alike.  She recognized the truth of everything he had said.

"Then you try to retrieve what you lost."

"All at once," she filled in with a smile.  "Like defying your parents."

He laughed.

"Yeah, until you really do find yourself."

Smiling to themselves in silence, they watched the fire play along the walls inside the fireplace.  The flames had died down, since they had not bothered to add any more wood.  Scully remembered a time so long ago, when she used to sit here with her beloved Ahab until the fire turned to a glowing hot mass.  They used to sit up for hours after everybody else had gone to bed, talking about everything that sprang to mind.  This was the spot when she had first heard the story of "Moby Dick," told to her by her father in only that way he could tell a story.

"So," Krycek began, breaking the silence.  "Is it nice to be back at the X-files?"

She shook her head.

"It's not nice, it's wonderful."

He cursed himself for bringing it up; he felt a sting of jealousy build up inside him.  He just had to go there and cause more pain to himself, didn't he?

"I have never worked with anyone the way I do with Mulder," she tried to explain.  "I've never felt so strongly about anything before, and working with him makes me do the best I can."

"When I was assigned, I…  I read some of the cases you solved together," he said, his voice low.  "It was pretty amazing."

She smiled.

"Yeah, Mulder's probably the brightest agent out there.  It's challenging, to say the least, working with him."

"Hey, I wasn't just talking about his work."  Krycek smiled.  "You never know what goes through his mind."

Scully knew what he meant.  She knew Mulder better than anyone did, but sometimes she felt like she didn't know him at all.  He could tell her a lot of personal things, especially about Samantha, but she could never remember them having this kind of conversation.

"He did tell me that he considered you as one of the sharpest agents he had worked with," Krycek said, interrupting her thoughts.

"He said that?"

"Mhm."

The usual question was hanging in the air, but neither one of them had any intentions of letting it out.  Krycek was afraid to hear that she was in love with Mulder, and so losing them both, and Scully knew she wouldn't be able to lie to him that she wasn't.  So they remained silent.

Instead, they started to bring up small events from their childhood, feeling how they connected with each passing second.  Scully couldn't remember feeling this safe with anyone aside from Mulder and her father.

They talked and laughed each story more vivid than the last.  Coming from similar backgrounds they could both adjust to the other's situation and feel it as if it had been their own.

"C'mon, don't tell me that you didn't have a special stuffed animal when you were a kid," he challenged after telling his story about his missing hippopotamus, Blarec.

She wiped tears from her eyes and stifled the last laugh as she nodded.

"I had this little white seal," she said, still smiling wide.  "I called him 'Moby Dick,' although it wasn't a whale."

He smiled, remembering her story about Ahab and Starbuck.  "Where is he now?"

"Back home, I guess," Scully pondered, pulling her hand through her hair.  "In some unpacked box."

"Suppressing childhood memory?"  he joked, arching a brow.

She shrugged and looked into the fire.  The last glow was soon to be gone, radiating a fading red light on her face.  A chill went through her body, making her shiver a little.

It was colder when the dying flames no longer build up any heat.  Krycek noted her shiver, remembering there was a quilt behind them over the back of the couch.  She had no time to object as he leaned forward to wrap it around her shoulders, the scent of his cologne affecting her senses in the most pleasant ways.  He couldn't help but feel her gaze as he tried to settle the quilt around her, making the mistake of looking into her eyes.

The light from the glow danced on her soft skin, the reflection flickering in the blue of her eyes.  He froze, feeling how their breaths blended as his head neared hers.  It was as if his brain had ceased to exist, as his only reality was him and her, alone.  She didn't protest as his lips landed softly on hers, but she didn't move to deepen it either, not until he did.

It was innocent at first, moving lightly against each other, tasting the other.  But the hunger expanded and soon the kiss was anything but innocent.

Not until they had moved to a resting position on the couch, Krycek's hands working under her blouse, their lips never parting, did they realize what they were about to do.  They reacted at the same time, stopping the kiss abruptly as they opened their eyes simultaneously.  Krycek pulled his hands out from under her blouse and shifted away, looking like it was all his fault.

"I'm sorry Scully," he said, blushing as he rose from the couch.  "I had no right doing that."

She got up as well, not knowing what to say.  It had felt so good, the touch of a man after all this time, skin against skin and the taste of a mouth against hers, even though she felt a slight twinge of guilt, thinking of Mulder.

"It's okay," she managed, not daring to look at him.

But she had to know for sure.

"Why did you do it?"

He had feared she would ask, and he didn't know what to say.  Not that he didn't know why he did it; he was attracted to her, but the consequences were so complicated.  If he told her he loved her and she didn't love him back, he would be left standing there.  If she did love him back, he wouldn't be able to be with her and not having Mulder, because he knew he couldn't choose between them.

She couldn't read his silence, but understood that he didn't feel like telling her, so she didn't push it.  He looked hurt, though, and she felt responsible.  Obviously, he did have some kind of emotions for her; but the question remained how strong those emotions were.  She placed her hand on his arm, feeling him flinch.

"It's not that I don't like you," she began slowly, not wanting to disclose too much.  "It's just that everything is very complicated for me right now."

"I understand," he said, his voice more understanding than she had ever dared to hope.  "I…  I like you too, but I have a lot of other…  things on my mind."

She was both relieved and hurt, not knowing what exactly he meant by that, deciding to let it be.

"No hard feelings?"  she asked, insecure.

"Of course not," he answered, smiling openly, turning around to look at her.

And she felt like kissing him again.

Next morning, they found themselves being snowed in.  Not even the windows would open, no matter how much they pushed.  Scully knew that even if they did get out, they wouldn't be able to get far from the cabin; the roads would be blocked.

Even before this discovery, Mulder had noticed that something was different between Krycek and Scully.  It didn't take long for him to realize that something must have happened the night before, and it made his heart sink.  They tried to hide it, pretending that everything was all right, but they couldn't fool him.  He should have known.

Scully watched Mulder as he was reading a file.  She could tell he wasn't concentrating, and she sensed he knew.  Could he have seen them?  It didn't occur to her until then that he could have walked in on them as they were making out on the couch.  The memories came back and made her blush.

"Are you warm, Scully?"

Mulder regarded her with those calm hazel eyes, her embarrassment all too evident, as she shook her head and returned to her own work.

"Are you sure?  We can turn down the heat."

"No, it's okay," she said nervously, smiling, noticing Krycek look at her from the corner of her eye.

Mulder noticed too.

At dinnertime, he was positive that something had happened.  The looks they were exchanging when they thought he didn't notice was evidence enough.  Besides, Scully was avoiding his gaze, knowing he could read her like a book.

He didn't know what to do or even if he could.  It was as if he was losing everything all at once.  Maybe he should have told them from the start, both of them, but it never felt like the right time and now he was standing alone.  When he realized later that he was in love with both of them he had a hard time choosing, knowing whatever he decided he would never know if it was the right decision.  Now it felt as if he had to do something quick, but it was hard.

All the time he had known Scully he had never told her.  He figured she knew that he loved her, but he didn't think she knew how.  It was the same the other way around; he knew Scully loved him, but he didn't know how, and honestly, he was too afraid to find out if she didn't -- so he never asked.  He didn't want to lose her, and having her as his friend was better than not having her at all.

Then this last time, since he had started working with Krycek, he felt himself going through the same thing all over again.  Only this time it was different.  He didn't know if Krycek was bisexual or gay, but he had become to suspect it during the time they had spent together.  Not only did Krycek look at him "that way," but he once had been almost kicked down by someone who he guessed to be one of Krycek's old, jealous, boyfriends.  Not that Krycek had actually confirmed it, but it had sure as hell looked like it.

He didn't know what was worse, telling Scully, whom he hadn't told in all this time, or coming clean that he was bisexual and risk both of them.  It was a tough decision, but all the same, it was a decision he had to make.

"Anybody want some tea?"  Scully asked later as they were finishing up their work.

Both men nodded and she went out to the kitchen to find the teapot she knew was around there somewhere.  Mulder followed her shortly after, knowing Krycek was watching him.  The tension was building inside him; he had made his choice.

"Scully," he said wondering why, all of a sudden, he felt like 15 again.

She turned around, the pot in her hand.

"Found it," she said with a smile, knowing by the tone of his voice that he really wanted to talk, and it troubled her.

He didn't say anything as she turned around to rinse out the teapot and fill it with water.  His heart was pounding like a drum, and a wave of dizziness came over him.

"I need to talk to you," he managed, stepping closer.

"Did you find anything new on the McMannon case?"  she asked, her back still turned, knowing that wasn't it.

He placed his hand on her shoulder, forcing her to turn around and face him.  He was standing close, his body inches from hers, making her knees weak as she caught his scent.

"I want to tell you something," he said, lowering his voice.

She swallowed hard, begging to God that he wouldn't say what she suspected he  would.

"Mulder, I…"

He prevented her from saying more, lifting a single finger to her lips.  She grew limp.

"This is going to be hard enough to say as it is, so please…  just let me say it."

Moving his hand from her face, he collected her hands between his, wondering if she could feel his heartbeat.  She looked scared, but he couldn't turn back now.

"I should have told you this a long time ago, but I…  " his cheeks blossomed with a shade of red.

Not knowing if she should laugh or cry, she just watched him.  Everything was happening too fast; she didn't have time to catch up.  He had had such a hard time telling her, and she knew that one way or another, she would end up hurting either of the men she loved.  She couldn't lie to either of them if confronted.  Silence was one thing, but out and out lying was a completely different issue.

"I love you, Scully."

He tilted her head, making her look at him.

"Truth is," and he had to smile at his own choice of words, "I have always loved you.  More than anything."

The last words were spoken with such effort she knew exactly what he meant by it.  Fox Mulder didn't do anything by half measures, and she couldn't imagine his love for her being any other way.  She couldn't speak.

Not knowing what her silence meant, he moved closer, slowly, not wanting to scare her away by doing anything hasty.  But she didn't move; she was paralyzed as he leaned in to kiss her.

It was a moment she had been waiting for so long, a moment she thought was one only possible in her imagination.  And now she stood there, feeling his lips almost touching hers, the soft curve of his upper lip just about to make the barest of impressions between her slightly parted ones, and she couldn't let him go through with it.  How could she possibly kiss Mulder after having kissed Krycek just the night before?

"Mulder, don't," she whispered, the movement of her lips nearly causing them to encounter his.

He moved away, looking hurt, and she felt the guilt filling her body.  She couldn't meet his gaze.

"Why?"

She kept staring at the floor, silent.

"Look at me, Scully."

The request was understandable, and reasonable, and she lifted her head to find him looking at her like a little lost schoolboy.  She wanted to cry.

"I don't want to hurt you, Mulder," she whispered, knowing she already had.

"Is it Krycek?"

There was no need to say yes.  Her silence was enough.

"What happened?"  he asked.  She could hear his voice break.

She saw the tears in his eyes.  "We…"  she hesitated, mumbling.  "We just kissed."

He sighed, disconsolate, rubbing his forehead to try and cope with the moment.

"I see," he said as he nodded.  "So you could kiss him but you can't kiss me."

"Mulder, it's not like that…  I didn't…"

"…  Do you love *him*?"

"This is really complicated for me, Mulder.  I…"

"…  Do you *love* him?"

Their eyes met.

"But it's more complicated than that, Mulder, if you'd just let me explain…"

"…  Spare me," he said before leaving, his heart in a thousand pieces.

Krycek noticed that Mulder ignored him as he dashed through the living room toward his room.  He had heard the last part of their conversation, aware that Mulder knew.  So he was probably the last person Mulder wanted to speak to right now.  Even so, he rose to talk to him, if not for his own benefit, then for Scully's.

The door to the bedroom was ajar and he could see Mulder packing his bag.  But Krycek knew it was an activity triggered by frustration; it wasn't as though any of them could leave, since they couldn't even get out of the cabin.

Krycek rapped lightly on the doorframe, knowing that Mulder had already noted his presence.

"What do you want?"  Mulder asked, his voice charged with rage as he threw a shirt into the bag.

"It's not what you think," Krycek started, seeing Mulder's jaw clench.  "There isn't anything between us."

Mulder slammed a pair of files into the bag, not believing a word.

"Where are you going, anyway?  We're snowed in, remember?"

Looking up at the man before him, Krycek couldn't help but notice the pained expression on his face, his green eyes filled with sorrow.

"Are you in love with her?"  Mulder asked him straight out, shaking inside as he awaited the answer he didn't really want to hear.

"Yeah," he confessed, wanting to tell him more but finding his courage failing him.

Mulder nodded.  He was losing both of them and he couldn't stay around to watch it any more.  So he started walking away, beginning the process suppressing his feelings, little by little.

Krycek stepped into his path.  Their eyes met.

"Do you?"  Krycek demanded to know conscious of the answer already.

"Do what?"

"Love her."

"Does it matter?"

He nodded.

"Well, I think it doesn't, since you're the one she wants.  Why don't you go right ahead and take her."

"I won't be able to do that."

Mulder's brows came together.

"What are you talking about?  She loves you and you love her, don't let *me* stop you."

"It's not that.  I…  I'm in love with someone else as well."

A feeling of deja vu came to mind, but Mulder shook it off.  

"Grow up will you," Mulder said a little too harsh.  "You don't know what you're  talking about."

Krycek swallowed hard and nodded.  He didn't know yet if he should tell him or just keep quiet.  Standing this close, he knew what he wanted to do, but it wasn't that simple.  There was no saying how he would react.

"Get out of my way," Mulder commanded, closing up to Krycek as he spoke until he was dangerously near.

But he didn't budge.  Neither did as their eyes locked, both trying to read the other's.  All either of them had to do was to lean a little closer, just a little, and it would be inevitable.

"I won't take her away from you," Krycek said, hearing the tremor in his own voice.  "I can't choose between her and…"

Mulder saw him having problems spilling it out that he was breathing more rapidly now, the look in his eyes no different from his own.

"Who?"  Mulder challenged, not knowing how much longer he could resist.

Krycek closed his eyes, afraid to learn what change he would see in those in front of him.

"And you."

In a swift second he could feel Mulder's lips upon his own, harsh and longing.  He let out the breath he had been holding and followed the movement of the other man's lips, his emotions in a tangle.  It was such a long time ago since he had tasted that special fragrance you only got from kissing another man.

Meanwhile, Scully was trying to determine on what to do.  She knew better than going after Mulder in the heat of the moment; instead, she went over the past few days in her head.  Things were really starting to get out of control and she felt herself unable to stop it.  This wasn't who she was, was it?  Dana  Scully was rational not the kind who would urge for two men at the same time.  She had wanted Mulder to kiss her, she really had just as much as she had wanted for Krycek to kiss her the night before.  That was outrageous.  But all the same, it made perfect sense.  She knew it was time to face what she had been trying to deny.  It was inevitable.  She wanted them both.  With that thought in mind she prepared herself to face him again and give him the facts straight out.  She walked past the living room, heading for Mulder's room.

It was quiet.  She wondered where Krycek had gone, since she hadn't seen him where she expected, on the couch.  She turned the corner.

What came next took her completely off-guard.  Mulder and Krycek were standing inside the bedroom, sharing a passionate kiss.  She could only stare as she watched Mulder reach up to take a firm grip of Krycek's head, deepening the kiss.  Krycek didn't seem to mind at all.

At first she was confused and shocked.  Both Mulder and Krycek had in some way declared that they had emotions for her, and now they were standing in front of her kissing.  In all the time she had known Mulder he had never told her that he had those kind of feelings; she never had suspected it.

When the first reaction wore off, she experienced something she had not expected.  This was the first time she saw two men together like this, the very first time she became aware of the certain way only two men could touch each other, and she found herself being completely and utterly turned on by it.  It was a discovery she could not deny.  Her attention was completely devoured by what was going on in front of her and the heat in her midsection was increasing like wildfire.

A sound, comparable to a moan, passed her lips and suddenly she broke the spell.

The two men stepped away from each other, puzzled.  Scully kept staring, no less embarrassed herself.

"I…  I'm sorry," she said with a cough.  "I'll be…  I'll go and…  " she couldn't form the words, concentrating on getting out of there as fast as she could.

Mulder and Krycek closed their eyes.  Could things possibly be a little bit more complicated?

"I'll go talk to her," Mulder suggested, still shaken from the kiss.

He started walking toward the door when Krycek called his name.

"It wasn't a…  I mean you don't…"  he stammered, insecure.

Mulder smiled at the younger man, whose cheeks seemed to turn one shade more red by the minute.

"Relax, Alex," he said seeing the tension wear off from his shoulders.

Scully was sitting out on the couch staring into the fire, her mind all in a jumble, trying to process what had happened.  Mulder recognized that look of hers as he sat down beside her -- it was the one when she was trying to solve a tough case.  No words were spoken in a long time.

"I was watching the fire here earlier," she said suddenly, unexpectedly.  "It occurred to me how…  how much it reminds me of you," she said, smiling, still staring into the flames.  "Beautiful, strong and hard to put out."

His gaze lay heavy on her, trying to discern her thoughts.

"I love you too, Mulder."

He was, to say the least, somewhat surprised.

"But I love Krycek as well."

This was too ironic.

"Are you disgusted?"  he asked, a little worried.

She laughed softly and shook her head.

"You never told me," she said, for the first time turning to look at him since the scene in the bedroom.

"I didn't think you'd…"

"…  Approve?"  she suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I don't know.  Maybe I was afraid you'd look at me in a different way, that you would shun me."

"I think it would disappoint me, knowing you wouldn't take any interest in me," she said, and smiled again.  "Which brings me to another subject.  Why did you say…"

"…  because I do.  I do want you," he confessed again.  "But I want Krycek as well."

"Deja vu," Scully mumbled.  "So what do we do now?"

"Well…  I got to kiss Krycek, Krycek got to kiss you, but…"  he smiled innocently.  "You can't decide before you've tried it all, after all."

"Decide?"

"Yeah, Krycek told me he loved you, and me, so…"  he waved his hands in the air.

"You're asking me if you can kiss me?"

"Uhh, I guess so."

She turned her head away from him, confused by it all.  They were in love, all three of them, and someone had to go.  Someone, or all.

"This is so strange, I don't know what to think of it," she told him instead of letting him kiss her.  "I mean, whose choice will it be?"

"I don't know."

"I know I can't choose."

"Me neither."

"And I don't want to lose either of you."

"Me neither."

She turned to him, frowning.  This was too hard, too damned convoluted.

"Maybe we should talk to Krycek too," she suggested calmly, calmer than she felt.

"I'll go get him," Mulder offered, touching her hand before he moved away from the couch.

Scully and Mulder sat in the couch, Krycek on the bear fur in front of them.  No one spoke.  Either they were too embarrassed or they couldn't think of anything useful to say.  Perhaps both.  It was an uncomfortable silence that was just waiting to be broken.

Krycek let his gaze wander over Scully, then Mulder, snapshot memories flashing through his mind, making him blush.  They had both felt so good, different, but oh so nice.  How could he choose?  He couldn't.  He wanted them both, he needed them both.  But it was either that or standing alone.

"This isn't going to work," Mulder sighed finally.  "Maybe we should be together all three of us, at once, or take turns or something," he added ironically.

Scully raised her eyes, wondering how Krycek would react to that.  He was meeting her gaze -- and he was interested.

"It was a joke, okay?"  Mulder said with a smile.  "I'm sorry, it was stupid."

Krycek smiled at Scully, a smile lurking in response.

"C'mon, you guys, I was just *kidding*," Mulder continued, not a little frustrated.

Their smiles widened.

"We can't do that," he coached, wondering what had gotten into them, to Scully most of all.  "Can we?"

Their eyes were shining like a child's on Christmas as they looked at him.  He felt awkward being the one who were being reasonable.  But how could he resist those eyes?

"We can at least give it a try," Scully almost pleaded, and Mulder fought the urge to rub his eyes in disbelief.

"All three of us?"  he dared her, watching the color rise in her face.

"Yeah."  She shook off the embarrassment, starting to like this idea even more as she thought it through.  "I think it's worth a shot."

Mulder waved a hand in front of Scully's face.

"Hello?  Scully?  Is it really you?"

She ignored him and turned to Krycek.

"What do you think?"  she asked him, knowing the answer already.

"I say we go for it," he suggested, leaving the final decision for Mulder.

Mulder suddenly found his tongue tied as they turned to him once again for the final decision.  What could he say?  He wanted it, but it felt strange, thinking of them all together.

"Uh…  I…  it's…  I…," he stammered, trying desperately to come up with something to say.

"You what?"  Krycek wondered a glimpse of humor in his eyes.

"I…  I guess we could try," he managed, still a little puzzled.

Scully smiled widely.  He was amazed at how she was acting.  Krycek was another thing, he didn't know him *that* well, but he had a pretty good idea he knew Scully better than this.  Well, even he could be mistaken, and it wasn't as though he disliked this new side of her; quite the contrary.  This should be interesting.

A couple of months earlier

He'd never thought about how much her presence had meant until she was gone.  How empty and dead the office looked when she wasn't sitting in front of his desk or going through the files that were spread across the table.  But most of all, he realized how much he needed her as a person, a friend and that how much he would ever try and ignore it, he depended on her in every way there was.

"Welcome back," he said, smiling, the sight of her, safe, bringing peace to his heart.

She looked up at him from in front of his desk, a file open in her hands, and it struck him how it had never bothered him to have her sitting there.  She was one of the few women he knew with whom he had never slept but the only woman who had her own key to his apartment.

"It feels good to be back," she said, returning the smile.

There was a comfortable silence as their eyes met.  Scully broke the contact  first, scanning the office briefly.

"I see things haven't changed around here," referring to the mess.

He followed her gaze and smiled again.

"To tell you the truth, I haven't been down here all that much," he told her and walked up to the piles of papers she last had set her eyes on.

"That's right," she remembered, spinning her chair around to watch him sort the piles.  "How was it to work with the guys for a change?"

"Okay," he said.  "You met Krycek, didn't you?"

"Yeah, he seemed nice," she forced out, fighting down that lump of jealousy that had no place being there.  "You worked well together?"

Mulder turned around and walked up to sit on the edge of his desk, facing her in a way that demanded eye contact.  She looked troubled.

"Well, yes, actually," he told her with caution.  "Not as well as with you, though, too little resistance," he joked, noting the embarrassed smile he manage to provoke from her.  "He told me to say hi."

She flinched and as soon as the words reached her, she fought to hold it back.  So they were still in contact.  That she hadn't expected.  She supposed she should be happy for him.

"So let's get to work," she said, deliberately changing the subject.

There was a small tap on the door and Scully lifted her eyes from the file she was perusing.  No one ever came down to see them.  Mulder had left the door open when he had gone out to buy lunch.

"Hi, I hope I'm not interrupting you," Agent Krycek said, smiling as he noted her puzzled expression.

She kept staring at him, obviously not prepared to find *him* standing there, and Krycek started feeling uncomfortable.

"I…  I was looking for Mulder," he explained, not wanting to walk inside until she asked him.

"Oh, come in," she said, coughing as she put down the file.  "He'll be back in a few minutes."

"Is it okay if I wait for him?"  He wanted to make sure.  "I could come back later."

Scully couldn't help but smile.  Their first meeting must have given him the wrong idea about her, the way she had ignored his presence.  It had just been hard for her to accept Mulder having another partner, after all they had been through together, and she had to admit that she had been a bit jealous.  A small part of her was still jealous that Mulder seemed to socialize with him even now.  He hadn't been willing to do that when it came to her, he really wasn't like that with her at all.  Personally, she had nothing against Krycek; she would probably even like him if she got to know him.

"It's no problem."

He blushed and took a few steps inside.  The last couple of times they'd met he had gotten the feeling that she didn't like him.

"How are you?"  he asked her, not knowing if he should take a seat or stay where he was.

"I'm fine," she said with a nod.  "Ready to get back to work, anyway."

As she finished, Mulder came back with a bag of what smelled like Thai takeout.  Surprised to see Krycek there, he felt his heart skipping a beat, seeing them both together made it beat harder.  It was important for him that they get along.  He liked Krycek, in more ways than he could allow himself to admit, and as far as his feelings for Scully were concerned, they needed no description.

"Krycek," he said with a smile, putting the bag on the desk.  "Are you disturbing my partner?"

"Uh…  hi, Mulder," he said, stumbling over the words, wondering why he suddenly felt so guilty.  "I just came down to have you take a look at something," he explained, suddenly feeling the need to have an explanation for being there.

"Sure," Mulder nodded and walked over.  "Let's see it."

Handing over a file, Krycek hoped that Mulder really would find something, just to make it less obvious that he was just looking for an excuse to visit.  Scully rose from behind the desk and reached for her briefcase.  Mulder looked up at her.

"Going home already?"

"Nope.  I'm going over to Pendrell to have this analyzed," and she produced a piece of metal, presumably evidence, from a little container.  "See you later."

"Yeah.  Don't forget your food," he reminded her and returned to the file.

"Nice meeting you again, Krycek," she said.

Krycek found himself trapped in her eyes; he noticed that she didn't look away immediately.  They were a beautiful shade of blue, so different from Mulder's hazel.  He felt something strange twist inside him as they held eye contact, but he didn't want to dig too deep.

"Yeah, the same," he managed, seeing a change in her eyes.

"Bye, then."

And she was out of there, leaving the two men alone.

"This looks all right," Mulder mumbled, checking once more to see if he had missed anything.  "I mean, other than it's a boring case."

Krycek smiled in agreement and took back the file.  He wanted to ask Mulder if they could go out, but couldn't find the courage.  It wasn't as if asking that question would reveal his sexual disposition, but to him it felt as if Mulder would notice anyway.

"What are you doing after work?"  he asked cautiously, watching him take a seat by his desk.

"I don't know," Mulder said, a little occupied as he picked up and looked at a brief that Scully had left on the desk.  "Probably watch a movie and order some takeout.  Why?"

"Uh, I just wondered."

Mulder looked up at him curiously.  He was holding something back, yet he couldn't figure out what.  Not that they had had a relationship equal to his and Scully's, but during the time they'd worked together they'd grown quite close, and he couldn't think of anything that would be uncomfortable for them to talk about.  Except his own feelings, and that wasn't anything he would ever bring up.

"If you want to, you can come over," he offered, seeing this as a good opportunity, at the same time knowing he shouldn't be doing this to himself.  "That is, if you can handle the mess."

"That would be great," Krycek said, and he realized he had answered a little too quickly and felt his cheeks getting hot.  "If you're up for it."

"Sure, come over at six and we'll grab a pizza or something."

"I'll be there," Krycek grinned and felt the tension leave him.  This had been easier than he had dared to hope for.  Almost too easy.  But he didn't give it any more thought as he left the small office in the basement.

Later that night, when the pizza had been eaten and the movie had ended a long time ago, they sat talking in Mulder's couch.  Both had a hard time keeping their eyes off each other and found themselves from time to time embarrassingly observant of each other.

"Have you heard of any new partner yet?"  Mulder wanted to know.

"No," he said, knowing too well that they both knew why.  No one wanted to work with "Spooky's" old partner.  "I guess there's a lineup," he offered, knowing that wasn't true.

Mulder nodded and appreciated that he didn't want to hurt him by saying how it really was.

"How are things with Scully?"  Krycek wanted to know, glad that Mulder had finally gotten what he wanted.

"Oh, it's great," Mulder smiled, a glimmer in his eye.  "Although I think she's already getting tired of my ideas," he joked, knowing somewhere inside him she never would be.

"They're not so bad, once you've gotten used to them, they're actually quite…"

"Amusing?"

"Yeah, that too," Krycek teased and smiled.  "No, it was interesting," he added, sounding more serious.  "Can't say I didn't like it."

Sharing a smile, they were both thinking the same thing, neither dreaming of the fact that they actually were.

"Well, it's late," Krycek said, looking at his watch.  "I'd better head home."

"Yeah," Mulder agreed, not really wanting him to go home just yet.  He was enjoying himself.

Standing in front of his front door, Mulder leaned against the wall, watching Krycek put on his jacket.  What was it with this man that made him react so strongly?  Normally, he was able to suppress his homosexual side, but just as with Scully, Krycek was impossible to remove from his mind and heart.

"If we don't see each other at work tomorrow, give me a call, why don't you," Krycek dared, glad that the room was so dark.  "Maybe we can do something tomorrow."

"Okay," Mulder said, smiling, relieved he had brought it up.

Krycek nodded and lingered a while at the door before leaving Mulder in a state of mind that threatened to explode.  Everything was happening too fast, with Scully's return and his feelings for her and Krycek.  He needed a break, although he didn't see one presenting itself anytime soon.

With a loud sigh, he went back to the couch, knowing the smell of Krycek would still be there for a while, disturbing his sleep.

It went on like that.  He met Krycek almost every day after work and spent his entire working day with Scully.  Every time he saw one of them, he felt so sure of his feelings, but if he started thinking about choosing between them, he couldn't.

Scully didn't seem to have anything against Krycek, and he appeared to like her too.  Sometimes when he was late and Krycek had come to visit in the basement, he caught them talking, usually about some case or something else involving work, but by the looks of it, they enjoyed each other's company.  As for himself, he had a hard time seeing them together.

Then one day he was late and she realized she would have to enter the cafeteria alone again.  If she were lucky, he would come join her halfway through with some bad excuse she would only half listen to.  Not that she cared very much, it had become close to a habit and in some strange way, it felt comfortable now after her disappearance and return to learn that everything was back to normal.

Just as she was about to enter the cafeteria, however, she felt a tap on her shoulder and was surprised to see Krycek standing there with a smile on his face.

"Hi, Scully," he said, still smiling.  "Mind if I join you?"

She was astonished.  Normally, the other agents didn't pay her much positive attention, her being "Spooky Mulder's" partner and all, and she didn't care much for them, one way or another.  But Krycek had also been his partner and from what she had heard, he had problems getting a new one because of that, so her surprise settled quickly.

"Sure."  She smiled back, finding this a little amusing.  Two outcasts, eating lunch together.  It was practically junior high school all over again.

They went into the cafeteria, bought their food and found a free table.  Aware of others staring at them, they sat down and did a good job ignoring the attention they had managed to garner.  Years of practice Scully thought, amused, and glanced at Krycek ,who didn't seem to care either.

"So where's Mulder?"  he asked, an ironic undertone in his voice.

She smiled and arched a brow.  It wasn't hard to figure out that he had undergone the same treatment from Mulder.  If you could call it treatment; when you got used to it, it was -- almost normal.

"Have you been assigned a new partner yet?"  she asked, looking into those deep green eyes.

He shook his head and sighed.

"No, no new partner yet.  I figure it'll take a while," he said, realizing that she was probably the only one who could understand his position.  "In the meantime, I'm on my own."

"If you need help with anything, let me know," she offered, feeling sorry for him.  It was hard, being left out like that, and she couldn't help but feel guilty about being the one who put him there.

"I might take you up on that," he said as he raised his glass to her.

Their eyes locked for a moment.  It had happened before and every time he looked at her, she felt warm all over.  He was a very good-looking man and she couldn't deny her attraction.  But it wasn't just an attraction; it felt deeper than that.

Dismissing the thought, she forced herself to look away.  He didn't feel the same way.  Maybe he was just curious, as everybody else.  After all, she was Fox Mulder's partner and friend.  And so was he.  She smiled to herself and took a sip of her beverage.

Talking through lunch, she was drawn even more to this man whom she hardly knew.  They both felt the chemistry between them, but neither dared to question it.

"I need to look through a file, I hope you don't mind," she said not wanting him  to get the feeling that he was boring her.

"No, that's OK," he assured her and gave her a quick nod.

She lifted her bag from the floor beside her the grip a little too loose as she accidentally dropped it back to the floor.  A few things fell out of it and both  of them were quickly on the floor to gather her stuff.  She blushed; glad she hadn't had anything really embarrassing in there.   Krycek lifted a book smiling to him self.

"You're reading this?"  he wanted to know holding up the book that said: "The old man and the sea."

She  put down her wallet in the bag and he joined her back by the table.

"Yeah," she nodded with a smile.

"I love this book," he told her, reaching her it across the table.  

"Me too," she smiled and felt his fingers linger over hers as she took it.  "I..  uhm," she put it back in her bag feeling her heart beating faster.  "I've read it about a thousand times."

He couldn't stop staring at her.

"Really?"  realizing how stupid he sounded.  "You read a lot?"

"Yeah, I love reading.  It' so relaxing."

"Can't argue with that."

She avoided his gaze on purpose.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"  he teased.

"What do you read?"

He pushed away his trey to lean his elbows on the table, a thoughtful look on  his face.

"Well, Hemingway is a strong favorite, of course," he nodded towards the bag.   "Then I read a lot of Russian novels, like Tolsoy and Dostojevskij."  

Of course, she thought, reminded of the fact that he was from Russia.

"Any favorites?"  she asked.

He shook his head.

"No.  I'm not very good at choosing favorites."

She met his gaze.

Mulder stepped into the cafeteria, scanning the room after Scully.  He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't mad at him for being late, but he still tried to work a little better on his excuse.  Letting his gaze wander to a corner of the room, he found her sitting opposite Krycek and felt a slight surprise.  They were talking and seemed to have a pleasant time, something that did something to him.  He was jealous -- but not.  There was something about seeing them together that was both confusing and appealing.

When he had gotten over his first reaction, he moved to reach them, wondering why he felt as if he was going to be in the way.

"Sorry I'm late," he said as he sat down next to Scully.

She gave him an odd gaze, sensing something strange about his mood.  He smiled back at her, suddenly having forgotten the elaborate excuse he had concocted for her.

"It's okay."  She nodded at Krycek.  "I was lucky to get some company anyway."

"Yeah, I noticed," he smiled toward Krycek, who looked like a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Mulder's usual expression.

A silence spread over them and they all felt a little awkward.  Usually, when they met like this, they were in the basement and Krycek only talked to Mulder.  Scully was just present but never really part of the conversation.  Now, Mulder felt as if it were him standing outside, and he didn't like the feel of it.

Krycek was feeling the same way and felt it was time to hit the road.  "Well, I have some work to do," he explained as he rose.  "I'll see you later."

"Yeah," Scully said as she looked up at him, realizing he was looking at Mulder but that he quickly moved his gaze to her.  And they were locked again.  Not for long, but long enough for Mulder to notice.

Without another word, Krycek left, making his excuses to Mulder in passing.  Mulder turned in time to see the blush draining from Scully's cheeks, wondering what the hell he had interrupted.

"Do you want to come along for a beer?"

Mulder looked up from the computer screen to find Krycek standing in the doorway.  For a moment, he looked confused but gathered his thoughts quickly.

"Uhh -- sure, give me five."

"No problem."

Krycek sat down in the only spot in the room that wasn't covered with work.

"So where's Scully?"

"She went home an hour ago," Mulder replied, putting his glasses down.  "Where are we going?"

"The usual joint," he said, watching Mulder rise and grab his jacket.  "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Two other agents joined them as they went down to the garage.  Mulder knew them by reputation as two hotshots from the VCS that Krycek had spend some time with before he had been assigned with him.  They seemed pretty OK to him and he figured they had more things on their mind than to even bother and bug  him but as Krycek started a conversation about a case they'd just solved, Mulder decided to "butt out," knowing they wouldn't be so fond of his ideas.  The thought of going out and socializing with other people amused  him.  If Scully could see him now, she would have a hard time trying to rationalize it.

The joint's atmosphere was noisy and a thick smoke lay heavy in the air.  They sat at a table for four but half an hour later they had multiplied to six.  The conversation was still on the old case, though it was now being seen from different perspectives.  Taking a sip of his beer, Mulder heard one of the new agents by the table speaking to him.

"Do I call you 'Spooky Mulder' or just 'Spooky'?"

Mulder clenched his jaws, forcing a smile.

"'Mulder' will do just fine."

The agent pretended not to hear him.

"So, Spooky, what's your opinion on the homicide?  Do you think the guy went plain crazy or does he fit the profile of one of your abductees?"

Mulder grinned, shaking his head.  He should have known better than to try to make nice.  He was just about to answer when Krycek cut in.

"Lay off, Logan!"

"Boy, you've gone touchy since your time in the basement."

"It would do you some good to spend some time with an agent with real experience."

Logan stared him out but clearly realized it would be for the best to let it be.

After four beers, Mulder realized he had been staring at Krycek for far too long.  He didn't have time to be embarrassed about it when one of the guys at the table offered him his attention.

"Where's your partner, Mulder?"

"Home, I guess."

"I thought the two of you kept a much closer watch on each other than that."

"No."  Mulder smiled, still willing to be friendly.

"You mean the two of you haven't done anything against bureau policy?"

"Depends on what you mean," knowing exactly what he meant.

"You know."

"No, I don't," he said, enunciating clearly.  His meaning was clear: Drop the subject.  Now.

However, not unusual when it came to having his opinion heard, he was ignored.  "Don't tell me you haven't given it any thought.  She is pretty hot."

"Our relationship is strictly professional."

"Come on, you're human, you must at least have thought about sleeping with her."

"No."  You know you're lying now, don't you?

"I had a female partner once, didn't work out.  Just after a week we ended up in bed,"  one of the other agents at the table mused.  Mulder was grateful; he didn't want to get into this, not here, not now.

"What happened?"  the guy who had brought up the topic in the first place was really getting interested.

"Well, first of all, she was married, though that wasn't any major obstacle.  The AD found out about it."

"Let me guess," an other Agent started.  "First: Skinner yelled at you for an  hour or so, then made you assure him that you know the bureau rules about partners getting involved."

The agent nodded.  "That was the easy part.  He suspended me for a week without pay and then reassigned us."

"Did her husband ever find out?"  Mulder inquired to know.  He didn't need to be told that the female agent was married.  He just knew.

"No, he didn't."  The agent grinned widely.

Mulder joined him.  Just to be polite.

"I still wonder, though --" the agent went on.

"What?"  Mulder asked, sighing.  He just wished that the topic would be dropped.

"How you can work without a constant hard-on."

I'll drink to that.

He woke up, fully dressed, after a couple of hours' sleep on the couch, from the light streaming in through the window shade.

He was late.  He had stayed far too late, drunk far too much the previous night.

Getting up, he felt a dull headache coming over him.  Shuffling off in the direction of the bathroom, he got undressed on the way, grabbing a towel as he did.  A quick shower and some new clothes were all he needed before going to work, not feeling tiptop, but enough.

She was surprised he wasn't there when she got to the office.  While waiting for him, she sat down to do some paperwork, trying to clear the desk of some old cases, if not actual debris.  She wondered if he had spent the evening with Krycek; she had called him a few times to ask about the latest case last night, but each time had only gotten his answering machine.  Since Mulder didn't have a social life; he had expected the same for her, so now when he was "socializing," she couldn't help but to feel abandoned.  If she was sitting at home every night, cleaning her Smith and Wesson, she expected the same from him.

Raising her eyes at the sound of someone entering, she saw a very tired Mulder walk in.

"Good morning."

He noted that tone she used when he was late.  It was cheery and chipper, and he hated it.

But he played along.  "You're bright and early?"  He grinned.

She looked at her watch.

"Not really.  Late night?"

Wishing he wouldn't hear the curiosity in her voice, she tried to occupy herself with the files in front of her as she waited for him to answer.

"I just took in a couple of beers with Krycek."  He looked down at the papers in her hand.  "So what's on the agenda for today?"

"I have an autopsy in half an hour, and you --" she rose from the chair to hand him the pile of papers --"have some filing to do."

Giving her a tormented expression, he took the papers.  As she was walking out of the office, his cell phone rang, making her stop short.  Watching him hang up, he gave the papers in his hand a quick glance before commenting.

"I guess this will just have to wait."

"Who was it?"

"A fellow agent who's just gotten a dead body on his hands and thought it looked like something we normally would investigate."

"So where are we going?"

He gave her a devilish look.

"Is Agent Scully ditching her 'date' with the morgue?"

"I have a pretty strong feeling that I'm going to have two dead bodies to 'date.'"

End Part One
Continued in Part Two

Like what you've read?  Send feedback

Main Page